Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@Bbf25010320

Thanks ladies. Unfortunately the tube had ruptured and resulted in surgery to have it removed during surgery. I think I will be taking a needed break from the trying to conceive journey. The last 4 months have been a lot to take xx

I'm so so so, what a horrendous time you've had. So much love, be kind to yourself 💕 xx

@Bbf25010320 I’m so sorry to hear this. You must be so exhausted physically and mentally! Do take care of yourself.

@Bbf25010320 it never rains but it pours. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this. Rest up and heal. Have you got lots of support around you?x

@Bbf25010320 I am so sorry to read this. Sending lots of love ❤️

I'm so sad to read your update. I do hope you are able to rest and recover from this both physically and emotionally. Sending love x

Thinking of you @Bbf25010320

Just had my 12 week scan. Had such a feeling of dread going into it. Just need to await screening results now but otherwise everything is looking good so far x

@Kiki275 yay that's great news! I can't believe it's your 12 weeks scan already... Hope you get the results quick! 🤞🏼x

@kiki275 great news!

I’ve booked for another private scan next week as I just can’t wait until my 20 week one. Our TFMR was at 15 weeks and I’ll be 15 weeks next week so I just need to see baby again. x

That's lovely @Kiki275, glad it's all going well. I'm sure the screening results will be good too 🤞🏼

I know what you mean @Mummabear40, my tfmr was at 16w and it seems quite a milestone getting past that point. I've got a scan booked at 16w too. Time seems to moving so so slowly. I've been obsessing a little over the scan pics and trying to predict sex using the skull/nub theories.....thoroughly confused!

I had a cheeky look at johnlewis nursery things this morning and bookmarked a few bits and pieces. Still a bit scary thinking that far ahead.

@Kiki275

Just had my 12 week scan. Had such a feeling of dread going into it. Just need to await screening results now but otherwise everything is looking good so far x

Lovely news kiki I'm so pleased for you, you must be so relieved.

Bbf25010320 thinking of you

Unfortunately it looks like it was definitely a chemical pregnancy I had. I'm feeling OK about it. Just a bit of a kick.

@Dia12 yes it definitely feels like a milestone to get past that date. I’m obsessing about things too much to wait for the 20 week one.

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise sorry to hear of your chemical but glad you are feeling ok. x

@kiki275 that’s great news! I was wondering just yesterday if you were 12 weeks yet.
@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise sorry to hear about your CP!
I’m ok but just exhausted! Mostly because I’m having to wake up in the night for a wee! My FMU said they don’t do early scans and the earliest they can see me is 16 weeks for an early anomaly scan. It seems EPU aren’t doing early reassurance scan anymore either due to the pandemic. How did you get your early scan booked?
Glad to hear that those of you past 12 weeks are able to enjoy the pregnancy a bit more now.

@Alice40p my Bereavement midwife arranged my early scan and then when I had it they booked me in for another one at 10 weeks so I didn’t have a big gap until the 12 week one. It was all at gynae ward not radiology.
I’ve arranged a private 15 week one for next week too.

@Mummabear40 thanks, I shall try contacting her. How do you feel now? Are you a bit more relaxed? How early was your first scan?

@Alice40p I do feel more relaxed but I also really need to pass my TFMR milestone of 15 weeks.

I had my first scan at 7+2 and although it didn’t make me relax, it was nice to see baby was in the right place and the little heart flicker x

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise I'm sorry to hear it was a CP. fingers crossed for next time x

@Alice40p I got the same unhelpful response from EPU, FMU and my BM was next to useless. So my DH wrote an email of complaint about this after which we were then offered a 10w scan by fetal medicine. I ended up having a private one at 7w before then because I was just so worried. Like mummabear, it didn't get rid of the anxiety but gave me enough hope to keep going.
Actually since then FMU have been amazing, I have one dedicated MW who I see and have looked after me really well.

I wish it was easier than this. After everything that's happened, there shouldn't be this kind of struggle just to be treated compassionately and sensitively by those whose job it is to do exactly that.
Let us know how you get on x

@Alice40p our hospital has a rainbow clinic for losses after 23 weeks. Although I lost my boys at 22wks my MW contacted them and they kindly agreed to refer me to EPU for a reassurance.
I would have booked private but had a bad experience last time and don't know which clinics to trust.x

Thanks ladies, I shall try contacting EPU again and also the BM.

@Dia12 do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?

No clue as of yet @Alice40p! I'm so conflicted, I want that lovely surprise and of course would be happy with either sex....but then on the other hand I've got this crazy need to have a boy to replace the one we've lost. At times it does feel like I never stopped being pregnant. I don't encourage these feelings but can't help desperately craving a boy. It's a total mind fudge.
What's worse is the due date is the same date as tfmr

@Dia12 that's really hard, a date with so many meanings.
I think I'm the opposite to you, I'm desperate for a girl so that I can't compare this precious new bundle with either my DS or the visions of the two sons I lost through tmfr. I'm terrified of failing this little one because they don't live up to where I've already decided they might slot in.
We're having a surprise as when (touch wood) baby arrives safely, there'll be so many emotions flying, everything else will slip away and baby will takes it's much loved and cherished place in our world and hearts exactly where it wants to be xx

@kiki275 we found out with our NIPT as I was desperate to know, I don’t know why but I just needed a gender instead of baby whereas with our first born we waited until the arrival. Part of it was so we could tell our first born whether he is having a brother or sister. I think I actually was leaning towards girl, so that she couldn’t be compared to the baby we lost. But we’re over the moon with our rainbow little boy and so is our first born. Here’s hoping he looks fine at Wednesdays scan. xx