Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

CP is a chemical pregnancy usually where it ends around 4 weeks or earlier! Xx

@NoCallerID glad the call went well. Do you feel reassured after it? Sounds like investigations are continuing which is a good thing, rather than "here try this and come back to us if/when it doesn't work" x

@Kiki275 I don't know if reassured is the right word but I'm very relieved being under their care now. I don't feel like just another patient, they're all so caring and nice. This morning I've already had the letter with my follow up appointment come through which I wasn't expecting at all. Now it's to decide whether to take part in one of their research trials or not... but I have a month to decide this and I'm still hoping that in 14 days I'll have a positive HPT in my hands.

@NoCallerID Im so pleased you feel looked after and not just another patient on their list. Sounds like they’ve got the ball rolling and hopefully they will keep investigating. Interesting to be part of their research but only do it if it doesn’t give you any added stress. I have everything crossed for your TWW! Sending you and everyone positive vibes xxx

@NoCallerID that's lovely to hear. What trial are they thinking of signing you up to? x

Anyone else in TWW hell?! I’m 11DPO on CD25, my bbt is still high so I know AF is coming tomorrow but I’m feeling so nervous. I stupidly did a FR test yesterday and today and both negative. I actually hate the TWW!

@Mummabear40 unfortunately not. I'm CD16 and not even a sniff of a positive OPK.x

@Kiki275 oh no!I had that two cycles ago, It’s the worst isn’t it!

My message should of said I know AF isn’t coming tomorrow as my bbt is still high, which at least is one thing. But I’m so sick of this!

It's horrendous! I'm still bitter at the thought of all those sex education classes back in high school that said "have unprotected sex and you will get pregnant". Not that simple is it x

@Kiki275 it’s definitely not that simple! And don’t get me started on my friend that has ‘accidentally’ got pregnant 3 times!! It feels so unfair x

Any tips on how to speed up the grieving bit? I had TFMR 5 months ago and really struggling for the past month.
I managed to put it somewhere over the summer (denial?) but it hit me like a ton of bricks recently and feels unbearable.
Amazed and impressed how quickly others are ready to go again. Immediately afterwards I was desperate to be pregnant again but that faded with hormones.
I’m knocking on in age though so do need to be thinking about this v soon. Am taking vitamins etc. Might just have to plough on regardless I guess?

@Coffeeoverload I don't think you can speed it up. Personally I was still grieving and desperate for another baby so separated the two things into complete different compartments of my mind. Everyone is different though, so don't feel you have to rush anything xx

@Coffeeoverload I’m the same as @Kiki275 I’ve sort of separated it in my mind, plus I have no choice as I’m already 40 and the consultant said it would be much better for me to fall this year.

The grief still comes and hits me like a ton of bricks and takes me off guard, it did last night out of nowhere and I’m not sure this will ever go away tbh. x

Thanks @Redhead43 and @Kiki275

It's the Chronic Endometritis and Recurrent Miscarriage - The CERM trial. They require a biopsy of my uterine lining at around 10dpo and if that tests positive for CE then I would either receive antibiotics or a placebo and after that they would do another biopsy. Generally I would like to take part (I'm all up for helping where I can!) but it would mean we can't even try to get pregnant for 1-3 cycles. I'm not sure my heart can take this...
I think we'll see how the next two weeks go. Like @Mummabear40 I'm now in the dreaded TWW (only 1dpo). It's just such a hard time and where I used to be excited to test I'm at a point where I really struggle.
@Mummabear40 the negative tests are shit, I'm so sorry. 😢 but as everybody always says...... you're not out until AF arrives especially if your temp is still up! 🤞🏼

@NoCallerID it really is shit! Fingers crossed my temp is still up tomorrow and then I’m in with a shout.
It sounds like you’re really going through it so I hope this is your cycle and you don’t then need to have further investigation. 🤞🏻🤞🏻Xx

@NoCallerID that's a really tough call to make. I hope you get some help without joining the trial if that's preferred. The trial will no doubt still be running in some form for a good while yet should you be lucky in TTC x

@Mummabear40 I've got everything crossed for you!!

@Kiki275 the trial would just run on the side, there isn't any better treatment for people who take part. Tommy’s have been absolutely fantastic so far and I've heard nothing but good about them. I think if we don't conceive this cycle I might agree to it. It might just be one cycle or it might be more. I'm kind of thinking I'd rather rule things out so apart from missing a cycle ttc there's no harm. I could leave the trial at any time if I was to change my mind. There are even a few people in their Facebook group who fell pregnant in the middle of it when things were put on hold during the last lockdown and Tommy’s have supported them anyway. The vibe I get is that they really do everything they can to save a pregnancy.

@NoCallerID I've just read up in it's registration. Looks like a great study. I realise you wouldn't be treated better whilst on it, was just clumsily trying to say there's a time yet to decide x

Thanks @Kiki275 @Mummabear40 it's so hard isn't it? I'd naively hoped I'd 'get away' with feeling relieved that the nightmare was over but....alas. It's also lonely as I'm the only one carrying this much pain - DH is totally fine now. I'm sure it's not helped that my due date is in a couple of weeks and I just found out my little sister is pregnant, which was devastating to me. Hopefully the other side of Christmas things will be less raw and heavy.
Fingers crossed and love to you both, and anyone else who's hurting xx

hi guys - does anyone know when i should start using the ovulation strips. is the idea that you use them everyday ? and is the morning best?

@CorkViaDublin use with first morning wee during your fertile window to detect your fertile days. I usually start using mine a few days before my app predicts my fertile window just in case.

@Mummabear40 I don’t know my fertile window because I just had the TFMR last week. Will I take that bleed as my “period”

@CorkViaDublin no, you would need to wait for your first period then track it after that. You’ll then have better grip of when you window is and how long your cycle is etc.

Hi @MummyBearBoo, hope you dont mind me interrupting, may I ask a question? I had a healthy first pregnancy 5 years ago, then had two subsequent tfmr, my first was in 2018 and my last a few months ago. I have 1/2 chance of having an affected pregnancy again. How did you find the courage to try after two tmfr? I am broken after my last tmfr. I am 42 so I don't have time on my side...

@NoCallerID the study sounds really interesting and I think you’re doing the thing by just seeing how this cycle goes. I have everything crossed for your TWW.

@Coffeeoverload unfortunately I agree there is no quick fix or sped up method. I have days where I feel really strong and then others where I could still lie in bed all day and cry. Someone told me that my tfmr was part of me now it’s not something that leaves and somehow that comforts me and reminds me that I’m allowed to be really down today, next week or in 10 years time because it’s part of my life. Christmas is going to be a hard time of year especially as many of us planned for such different celebrations with one more in the household. Sending you lots of love xx

@Mummabear40 I have everything crossed for you. Positive vibes all round for you guys in the dreaded TWW xxx