Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@CorkViaDublin I personally start using OPKs when I know my fertile window is close. I use them almost every time I go to the toilet as they don't just slowly go darker over a few days, they can be low in the morning and then the peak can be at night... I'll attach a screenshot for you.
It's also important (for me) to check for fertile cervical mucus.

Sorry... here you go...

@NoCallerID THANK you. So - sorry to be pedestrian but does that mean you should ‘try’ on that day when it’s darkest?

@CorkViaDublin yes. And ideally in the lead up to it and the day after. But if you haven't done it before you get your peak, get onto it that day. It's personal preference really, I know that I get really annoyed if I didn't get enough sex in. Like this cycle - twice on the day before peak, none on the day of peak, once the morning after peak. Realistically there's still a good chance with all of it but I just like to make sure possibility is covered 😅 I personally ovulate closer to 12 hours after my peak than 36 that it can be (I temp as well so I usually get a spike the day after or two days latest). But the key thing is to keep testing with OPKs for a couple of days after your peak and keep an eye out for CM. It dries up after ovulation. Some women get more than one peak a cycle as the body tried to ovulate but can't, so if your cm continues or goes back to being fertile, test again so you don't miss ovulation. I hope this makes sense 🙈

Hi @Redhead43 thank you for your kind message. I agree I feel forever changed, and I’m trying to figure out how to assimilate this into my life and being. It’s a confusing and intimidating time. The only thing that brings me comfort is being in contact with other women who’ve experienced the same, otherwise it’s terribly lonely. Even my partner’s experience is radically different and he seems to have moved on long ago. So thank you xxx

I’m out this cycle 😭 bbt drop this morning and spotting started already. I just cannot believe it, we caught all the right days. I so wanted to be pregnant for Christmas, as in my head, having a Christmas where there wasn’t four of us was more manageable knowing I was pregnant 😭 I’m so sick of this. Sick of the grief and sick of not being pregnant 😭

Help please
I just did a pregnancy test and ovulation test.
I wanted to check that my TFMR last Thursday (8days ago) was long enough ago that my body had rid itself of pregnancy hormone.
The pregnancy test was positive but SO WAS THE OVULATION TEST.
Is this correct?

@CorkViaDublin my opk’s and pregnancy tests stayed positive for ages after my TFMR, about 3.5 weeks. It takes a while for the HCG to go down from my understanding.

Thanks so much @Mummabear40 you’re so generous with ur time and information!

I suppose I should wait for at least one menstrual period before trying again

With my first TFMR it took 2 months before I finally got a negative pregnancy test and I didn't have retained product or anything I don't think 9 days is long enough for the hormones to be gone - if they do a blood test they can check to see if the hormone levels are falling or not if not it'd be a new pregnancy if they are falling you'd need to wait longer to get a negative one! Xx

Hi @JustStuck - sorry for the delay -I was broken after my second but I gave myself til after the due date passed (6 months later) then started trying (thankfully got lucky first time) i think my thought process was it's a 1/2 chance and I was desperate to have a second child and as I'd had 1 healthy pregnancy and 2 non viable ones that I should try a 4th time as probability is 1/2 and in 2/4! Otherwise if felt like my two little boys had died in vain if that makes sense? I don't think I would have been able to try again if my 4th pregnancy had not been healthy! The 4th time I didn't read any of the notes, look at the scan pics and requested not to know the due date i had to make sure I was prepared for the fact that it could be a bad result again! Good luck what ever you decide! Xxx

Thanks @MummyBearBoo.
Congrats on your rainbow baby. I understand your logic, Did you consider ivf with pgd at all?
I'm 42, if I am able, I will try again.
Lots of love and hope to all the women on this thread xxx

@JustStuck -thanks - We fid but at the time we enquired about it the Dr said NHS England charge £15k per cycle and success rate is 1in 3 she did think our chance was more like 1in 2 but still that's £30k possibly! Whilst we could afford it it would limit the amount of stuff we could do with our daughter! I think we would have revisited it after the 4th time if we were unsuccessful -I'm 35 atm xxx

Good luck @JustStuck I really hope you get your 🌈 rainbow baby xxx

@Mummabear40 I’m sorry to read your news and that this wasn’t your cycle. Sending love xxx

@MummyBearBoo you’re so brave for trying again and the risk paid off - I hope this gives @JustStuck the hope and positivity you need for your Rainbow xxx

Thankyou @MummyBearBoo & @Redhead43.

@Mummabear40 @JustStuck @Redhead43
How’re you all doing after the weekend. I was thinking of you all and hope you’re doing ok

@CorkViaDublin struggling at the moment due to my period arriving but ok. Onto another cycle I suppose. I am starting to wonder if that’s it for me though. I only have me ovary after surgery last year and I’m already 40 so maybe my time of babies is done 😢

How are you feeling? xx

With one ovary do you still ovulate every month? Or every other month?
I’m ok. I desperate to try again but have no way of knowing when I am ovulating and the pregnancy tests are still positive. I would love to be pregnant by Xmas

@CorkViaDublin tbh it’s hit and miss with my ovulating, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t so it’s very frustrating!

I hope your tests go negative soon xx

Morning everyone, hope you're okay?Trying to get through to my GP for arranging a CD21 blood test. I hope they're still doing them despite Covid x

Hi CorkViaDublin,
I had a rough weekend but starting feeling more positive, I am waiting for my period to resume. I am not sure what the future holds in store for me, i am 42 so realistically I dont have much of a fertile window left, as it stands i do intend to keep trying until the Doctors or my body gives up on me! I am preparing for further heartache ahead and the only way I will reach the end of my journey is to remember all that I have; a happy child, loving DH and a warm home. Anything else is just a bonus ☺️.
Wishing love and hope to everyone on this journey xx

Checking in with everyone, hope you're all okay?x

Heya!! I’m ok.. still cramping and a little bit of blood on wiping. Tomorrow is 2 weeks since TFMR. We got results of the full micro array and there isn’t anything hereditary that is likely to happen again so that’s a relief. I think we are going to ttc this month

@CorkViaDublin good news about the micro array I remember a slight weight being lifted when I had that phonecall xx

@Kiki275 how are you? Did you get your CD21 bloods done? Xx