Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

[Treaclepie19]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

Thinking of you @welshmercury and @Grassisgreener99

Hi everyone

I have been reading this thread as a nonmember in the same situation as all you lovely ladies and today I decided to join and write a little about my experience and hope my story can help some people that may be struggling.
❤️

@superstrongmom and @Grassisgreener99 I am so very sorry for the loss of your babies, but welcome ❤️ xx

I’m a mom to DS5 and DD2.5 who I had in A different country.
I got pregnant last April which resulted in an early missed miscarriage @ 12 weeks picked up at 10 weeks.
So I got pregnant again which was a surprise 2 cycles later. All great news early in and I felt exactly as I did for my previous successful pregnancies. From 8 weeks I had a gut feeling there was something wrong but I ignored that, my heart would race and I always bumped into DS kids and adults. Everyone said I was crazy. Anyway fast forward to 12 weeks - ultrasounds were perfect NT was 1.3 , nasal bone was perfect and pregnancy was progressing extremely well and measurements were above normal.
My anxiety and gut feeling never went away and I always spoke about it openly and those things continued to happen bumping into DS.
So I had extra scans just because I did and baby was doing so well and I felt great. So I convinced myself not to have the NIPT or should I say talking about my concerns to others did. I did not have any screening as it was not offered in the hospital. In my previous pregnancy I never had NIPT either only the 12 week bloods which had good odds each time.
At around 16 weeks I asked a colleague to scan me for an early anatomy scan. That gut feeling came back, I just couldn’t watch the scan but I did see her first picture of the head then I closed my eyes so nervous. My colleague knew all my anxieties and always supported me and put me at ease. On this scan all measurements were above 85th % and the nasal bone was soo long. She was happy about my boy but I saw the brain and I saw choroid plexus cysts and we discussed them. Something in my body just changed. Anyway I had my 20 week scan in another hospital and the sonographer didn’t comment on the cysts , rushed through the scan and said all within normal. My baby tucked all the boxes at 20 weeks. I was still soo anxious so I decided to have the late NIPT and the results were 9/10 risk for Tri21. I had a contact who organised an amino and this confirmed my results. I got booked in for a late termination which broke my heart and soul at under 23 weeks in the UK. I have never got over it I think about it everyday. I know it was just by chance and I was that unlucky person but it hits you hard. I will not ever forget that time in my life. It was so lonely. I have come through this stronger and it definitely didn’t break me. Atm we are considering trying for another but the anxieties from before are hard to let go of.

I can see there are a lot of good news stories and I wish everyone the best luck and health . ❤️

Apologies, ladies, I've not yet caught up with all the recent messages but am just in a little pit of self pity. The hospital just called with what I finally hoped were the results from our NIPT test after corona-sodding-virus delays. Turns out the machine broke when they put the samples in so now I've got to go in again tomorrow, start the whole process again from the beginning, and wait another 2 weeks for the results - they can't even be sped up due to the current climate 😭😭😭 Waiting for these for the last 2 weeks has been absolute hell and I can't believe we're no closer 😞

@Mangoandbroccoli - oh no. I am gutted for you. So so sorry you have to go through this. Is there anyway they can expedite the results for you given your history? I really hope they can help. If not, we are here to hold your hand and get you through the next 2 weeks. You shouldn’t have to do this but you will get through it. When is your next scan?

Sending loads of love. Xxxxx

Thanks @ShootingStar2020. My 12 week scan is on Monday so thankfully not too long to wait, but the plan was that we'd both go in to that having already had the full NIPT results. Now it's me going in alone with no knowledge 😞 I had the nhs combined blood test taken yesterday, so they're going to phone for those results while I'm there on Monday and once they can give them the NT measurement, so I will get those on Monday, but they've warned that they will automatically come back as high risk due to history. Hopefully if the NT measurement is very low then it'll give me a bit of reassurance, but my fear is that it'll be somewhere in the middle and then I'm just back to waiting for the full NIPT for any further info.

I'm sure someone was worried about results being delayed due to corona a few weeks back and I said 'oh don't worry it'll be fine, I can't see how that would affect obstetrics' 🙈

Oh @Mangoandbroccoli that's just dreadful 😔 I really hope they can manage to quickly get it sorted for you somehow.
I'm glad it isn't long until your scan.

I'm awaiting my combined results. Not sure why I'm even wondering about them because the chromosomal issue I'm worried about isn't checked in them. Still, I can worry about anything and everything.

I know I'm probs my being irrational but please help -Has anyone had a first pregnancy where the baby was healthy with no sickness then a second pregnancy with a baby of the same sex with sickness and both were healthy?
Sorry I've found out I'm having a girl and I'm totally freaking out coz with my DD who is healthy I had no nausea, my next two pregnancies I had two 2 poorly boys and had all day nausea then this time I've only had nausea in the afternoon so I'm worried that the nausea wasn't as bad coz it's a girl but the nausea in the afternoon was coz this baby is poorly too? Xxx

Hi
I’m new to the thread but I just wanted to add a little.
The best way to determine the risks for chromosomal abnormalities is the NIPT test. Around 50% of tri21 are not picked up on ultrasound and it is very operator dependent.
The other trisomies t18/13 are more likely picked up as there are obvious abnormalities.
As in my case everything was perfect so if . I’m a sonographer and I would never go on those results again. The ultrasound is good guidance but the NIPT is the gold standard.

I’m sorry to hear the covid 19 restrictions are playing havoc on test results and partners attending scans , I can imagine how hard it must be.

@boomammabear every pregnancy is different you just don’t know how the hormones will affect your body.

Sorry if it appears I gatecrashed the post but I hope it helps.

@superstrongmom the NIPT wouldn't help in our situation unfortunately.
Our last baby had a chromosomal abnormality that the NIPT didn't pick up and the amnio did.

Amnio and cvs are always going to be the best because they're diagnostic rather than screening.

@BooMamaBear pregnancies can vary so much, sending you lots of positive thoughts. I can imagine how stressed you are right now

@Mangoandbroccoli that's awful news, so sorry to hear that! It must be so stressful for you, when all you want is to know everything is okay.

@BooMamaBear I can't help I'm afraid 😔 I've heard that morning sickness can happen regardless of sex so I'd try not to think too much into it if possible x

Welcome to all of the new posters...I'm sorry to see you here but I'm glad you found us.

I’ve been abit of a dumbass. Had sex yesterday morning no protection as no period yet and only 2 weeks since TFMR. Well last night I had horrific cramping in my right hip and I only get that when I ovulate. It usually lasts about 7/8 hours which meant I had a horrific nights sleep in pain. Took painkillers but they never work. To be pregnant again would be amazing but not sure if it’s totally safe. I guess I have a 10 day wait now

I hope you get your results a bit sooner than expected @Mangoandbroccoli coz I should get my results Tuesday and that's a week after my CVS and that is dragging so it's totally pants that you've had to wait then they tell you it didn't work and have to go thru it again I really feel for you hun! Fingers crossed everything is ok for you in the end! Xx

@Treaclepie19 yes correct regarding CVS and amino everything will be confirmed and you will be able to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. Good luck for your results it’s a very anxious time. I’m not really looking forward to those weeks if we conceive again. I find it hard to imagine but reading these posts helps.

@Balajake I think your hcg has to be back to normal before you can ovulate again? Have you taken a pregnancy test since your tfmr to see if you're still showing as positive or not?

Thanks everyone. I went back to redo the NIPT today and asked if there was any chance I could also have my scan then rather than waiting until Monday, especially as am now 12 weeks. Luckily they agreed and although I'll still need to wait for the various bloods, everything initially looked ok and the NT was 1.2mm which was a huge relief and has given us something to cling on to! 🤞🏼

Welcome to the new people I've missed and, as always, I'm so sorry that you find yourselves here. There is just no getting around what a terrible time it is when you're on the thick of it, but I really hope you'll find support, encouragement and hope amongst us xx

1.2 is a great start, what a relief! ❤️

@Balajake I don't think it's too much of a problem per se - we were told we could try again as soon as bleeding stopped / we felt ready - but I agree with @otterbaby that you should take a test to check if it's still positive as it can take a while for the hcg levels to come down and might add an element of confusion in terms of recognising a new pregnancy. I think the reasons people are otherwise told to wait is for dating purposes and because there might still be a risk of infection when bleeding after the procedure.

@BooMamaBear There are no proven scientific correlations between sickness and either the sex or the health of the baby, so try not to focus on or give too much thought to that. Plenty of other things to keep us all on our toes but that doesn't need to be one of them 😉

@otterbaby HCG tests showing fully negative 4 days after my termination which was on the 13 March.
Every time I ovulate I get severe pain in my right hip and shooting pains in my bum. I’ve always had it and it usually lasts around 7 hours sometimes longer. It’s horrible like period cramping and OPKs usually confirm it so I never need to use OPK anymore as it’s always day 13/14 of my cycle it happens. Weirdly enough I bled for around 7 days, stopped then had what I thought was my period about 3 days later but it had stopped within 24 hours. We did the deed yesterday morning as I felt ok but then by 9pm last night I started with the Ovulation pain which lingered into this morning. Some months it’s so bad it makes me throw up.
Honestly didn’t expect it as I was just waiting for a period.

With my last pregnancy I did the deed xmas day just gone then got my bad ovulation pains on Boxing Day and had a positive pregnancy test 9 days later. I don’t know any other ladies who get ovulation cramps so nothing to compare with

I did ovulation test last night shen pains started and a HCG test which was negative

Ovulation test attached. Not blazing but usually surge fading by time cramps arrive

Hi everyone, I'm checking back in after a few months away from Mumsnet. Congratulations to everyone who is expecting! Hope you're all keeping well in these crazy times of social distancing.

@Grassisgreener99 and @welshmercury I'm so sorry to read about your losses I found it tough enough to have a D&E at about 13 weeks, it would be absolutely heartbreaking having to go through labour and then eventually tell/face the people who knew you were expecting. My husband and I hadn't told many people I was pregnant before the TMFR, but we did tell some of our close friends afterwards to explain why we disappeared off the grid for a bit. It's a cliche but time does help a little. I also found it helpful to sign out of my social media accounts for a while (to avoid the inevitable pregnancy/baby/toddler photo deluge that comes with being in your early 30s!) and give the dog some extra walks instead.

I'm now 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant I had my first appointment on Tuesday and actually cried with anxiety just before the dating scan. But there was a heartbeat and everything was looking okay at this early stage. My next scan is a bit less than three weeks away, which will be on the day of the NIPT blood test. At the clinic I go to they do an ultrasound first to make sure there's a heartbeat etc. before they make you pay $$$ for the test... sensible precaution I think... minimises heartbreak). I'm trying not to have my head in baby-land but it's hard to forget when the morning sickness is next level horrible. At least working from home at the moment means I can have a sick bucket next to my desk!! In desperation I got a script yesterday from my obstetrician for Ondansetron and Restavit. My husband is extra detached from it all, doesn't want to talk about it and I understand it's a coping mechanism.

Since I had NIPT last time which accurately detected Klinefelter's, apparently now there is a more advanced expensive option for testing for rare microdeletions (DiGeorge, Angelman/Prader-Willi, Wolf-Hirschorn, Cri-du-chat). My obstetrician did not recommend the advanced test at this stage because she said it returns too made false positives, and is less accurate than 'standard' NIPT, so we didn't tick the box this time around. But I'm wondering if anyone else has?

Stay safe everyone x

This morning FMU. So deffo no hormone remaining. Obviously just gotta see what happens in the next two weeks

@Balajake
Well done on doing the deed!!! I hope it works out positive.

Before I got pregnant I was being investigated for irregular periods. I’m 41 but for over 2 years now I’ve had weeks of bleeding, followed by a few days off, then I’ve had what I would call a period as very heavy then another week of drips. So it was very rare that we could have actual sex! Even then hubby uses withdrawal method which has been effective for 10 years 😆

It has been really nice to feel clean down below as I developed an allergy to all tampons. The burn on the inside - bits on fire!!!

So my husband has said we can properly try again after this TMFR as he has never wanted another child. DS now 11 was a pill failure 😆 but after the initial shock he was invested in this child and he knows how much I have longed for another baby.

I’m worried I will become obsessed with ovulation kits and the bleeding will start again.

Anyway ramble over!! Stay safe everyone