Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

[Conorgog]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:


@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

[JO138]

@stanley1099 I am so incredibly sorry. I went through a TFMR at nearly 14 weeks after a positive CVS for DS.
It was my second pregnancy and it really floored me as my first was so straight forward.
Will be thinking of you. X

[Conorgog]

@JO138

Hey!

Hope you and @DinoGreen had a nice long weekend.

Does your husband have a date in mind for ttc or is he happy with one, and that’s where there is a disagreement? Thinking of you, it’s a hard conversation.

Are you tracking your ovulation anyway? My first period was just 4 days, so I’m going to try ttc this month, but unsure on ovulation dates etc so fingers crossed, will have to try to cover all poss dates! Am wondering whether that adage that it’s easier to conceive after a Tfmr is still true? Here’s hoping.

[Treaclepie19]

@Stanley1099 I'm so sorry for your loss.
Feel free to message me if you want to chat or I have a blog on facebook I can send you if you just want to read someone experiences.

The good news here is my DH is on board with ttc and I'm feeling in a much better place 9 months on from losing our DS2.

[JO138]

@Conorgog sorry for the late reply. Yes I'm using Clearblue digital. No luck this month but small comfort that my cycle seems to be back to normal

• @dinogreen How are you guys doing? 2 months on. Feel like yesterday and a million years ago at the same time! I had a really weepy day when I got my period this week because I was just so disappointed but we will keep trying I hope.
  
  How are you doing @stanley1099 ? I hope you are recovering as well as possible.

[DinoGreen]

Hi @JO138. That’s good your cycle is back to normal. Mine really isn’t 🙄 after the TFMR I bled for 5 weeks, all the way up to my first period and through it. Then I had barely 2 weeks off before my next period started, a week early, and this one is just coming to an end after 13 days (usually 4/5 days). It’s been very annoying. I really hope I’ll get back into my usual cycles by next month.

I don’t feel ready to try again yet though. I’ve had quite a few downs over the last couple of weeks - even had to go to the toilets at work to cry earlier this week which is the first time that’s happened since I went back to work.

@Stanley1099 I hope you are doing ok.

[Treaclepie19]

@DinoGreen I'm 9 months on now and I still have days like that, though less frequent. Be kind to yourself

[Delphinidin]

Hi @JO138 and @DinoGreen

I’m ok, had first cycle trying to conceive again and no luck, agree @JO138 a little disheartening, but positives are more body recovery time which I think has been good. Are you taking extra folic acid or anything? @Dinogreen hope your okay, take your time for you, not easy sometimes I know.

[JO138]

Hello. I've just gone to see the consultant hoping for some answers and after an hour in the waiting room we were told the consultant had to leav and I'd have to rebook.

I'm 40 in a month and my DS is 3 1/2 now and I am just wondering if I'm too high risk to try again. (After TFMR positive T21). Everything I read just makes me feel like we are such high risk after one nightmare.

Any good news stories would be much appreciated! Or if anyone has actually gotten to see a consultant! I can't even get in to see my GP!

X

[Treaclepie19]

@JO138 have you not been referred to a genetic specialist?
I'm so sorry for your loss.

We lost our boy in december, I was 28 and DH 29. His abnormality is very rare and doesn't have a name but they still booked us in with a genetic specialist who discussed everything in detail including what would happen with a future pregnancy.
We shouldn't be at more risk of it happening again than anyone else. Less than 1% chance.

[DinoGreen]

Hi @JO138. That’s so annoying about your appointment being cancelled. I haven’t had my follow up with the consultant yet, but the screening midwife told me that as we had no genetic issues other than T21 (I think you were the same?) my risk of it happening again is no greater than anyone else. So you will have your usual age related risk of being 40 which I think is about 1 in 85? That’s still pretty good odds in my view ...

[JO138]

Thanks both. And yes @DinoGreen I guess those are good odds. I guess I am still a bit sensitive about being "high risk" and I don't want to try again and have another heartbreak. I just feel like maybe one love little boy is enough and I shouldn't tempt fate.

[DinoGreen]

Oh I totally get the feeling @JO138. I haven’t made any final decisions, I just know I’m not ready to try again yet, but I’ve been feeling ever since we found out that this is the universe’s way of telling me I should stick with the one I’ve got. Then I think, but all the reasons we decided to try again in the first place are still there (wanting DS to have a sibling etc). There are no easy answers 😢

[Treaclepie19]

I feel the same. Should we not try again because there's a reason this has happened? Then I think I'm a shitty parent anyway and it just messes with my head.
Ugh!

[Conorgog]

Hi all, hope your all doing okay. I’m on day 46 on my second cycle. Had completely normal first period one month after TFMR, was relatively regular 32 day cycle prior to pregnancy etc. I’m NOT pregnant, and on the ovulation sticks the test line is much stronger than the control line - indicating LH surge except I know I’m not ovulating. All I’ve read about is high LH is attributed to menopause - wtf I’m 34. Any suggestions

[Conorgog]

I also don’t feel like I’m about to get AF so I don’t think it can be attributed to the surge prior to AF - plus the Sticks have had a high reading for about 6 days now.

[Conorgog]

I also had classic Ov symptoms at day CD 20 - my usual time. So not late ovulation either.

[JO138]

Morning @conorgog . I was thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you are getting on. I bought the clearblue connected and have the app on my phone which I find helpful. I've never used ovulation sticks before but I've had 2 Normal cycles now and both had 5 "high fertility " days before peak. Now I'm in the "fingers crossed " weeks after peak. My last AF I knew was coming because I was super crampy. I don't remember being like that before but I've never been so conscious of my ovaries before FFS!

I went to the doctor before I decided to try for number 2 back in January and she did some bloods to confirm I wasn't menopausal. I too was like WTF? As I didn't even know that was an option but maybe go to your GP just to get some piece of mind.

But I didn't recommend the connect CB. Has helped me track things as they were all over the show!

Take care.

[Conorgog]

Thanks @JO138

I feel like I’m going crazy, partially because I’m/we are so desperate to conceive again and I feel like my body is failing me. - I called my GP a week ago and they just said ‘give it a few months’. But good idea, will try again and ask for the blood test 😫

Happy for you that everything seems normal, crossing my fingers for the next two weeks!

[user1498420617]

Hi everyone, thanks for starting this thread again, I've been reading and watching for the past month. We found out recently that our baby has patau's which has been devestating, I'm awaiting a date for tmfr. Reading your experiences of TTC is helpful and I'm hopeful I too will be in that place again x

[Mini12]

Sorry I've never posted this site before that was my post above, very new to this!

[JO138]

@Mini12 I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I am 6 weeks post TFMR at 13.5 weeks. If you have any questions or just want to chat just shout. I have to say the waiting was the worst part!

@conorgog I feel a bit like that too. Just want to get pregnant now! When we started trying in January I said I would give it until June......then of course I was pregnant in June but not in July! So now I feel like I am 6 mths behind and I'm 40 in 2 weeks! I am trying to be relaxed but all in all I'm definitely not! I've just gone through my lh surge so I could have AF in time for my birthday! Depressing on many levels!

[JO138]

@treaclepie19 I feel horrible for not replying earlier. I think we all feel like shitty parents sometimes. I certainly do and after 3 mths of dealing with a very difficult pregnancy, the the mess I was after the termination, and now I'm still grumpy and hormonal!

Hope you are feeling better. X

[Conorgog]

So went to the doctor this morning and ..... I’m feeking pregnant. 5 neg home test later (one clear blue weeks one last Friday and 3 one steps this week) that told me I wasn’t. Feel very very very very shocked. No symptoms of any kind. Just cramping and generally feeling gross (which I thought was my period) WTF.

[Conorgog]

Read- I’m excited just a bit bewildered.

[Treaclepie19]

@Mini12 please feel free to message me if you have any questions. I also have a blog if you just want to read our experience.
I know I was constantly reading and worrying.

@JO138 thank you so much. It's hard isn't it? I just get so snappy and grumpy. Then I feel guilty.

Congrats again @Conorgog ❤