Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 4

[NatzCNL]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to concieve after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
Linspins ? Franklin 22/01/10
Shangrila ? baby boy 01/02/10
Can'tdothisagain ? Babycan't 12/04/10
Katerina100 ? baby boy 06/10
NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
Allstarsprincess ? Frank 30/07/10
Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
GinaFB ? Alexander 03/01/11
LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
Coffeeandchocolate ? Coffeebean 22/02/11
Rushingrachel ? Oliver 02/03/11
Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
Lisbeth Salander - baby boy 7/11
Stormbird ? George 24/07/11
Sarahmia ? baby girl 25/07/11
Eavers ? Jacob 11/08/11
Grandj ? Eliot 01/09/11
Babylily ? Miles 05/09/11
NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
Cherrybug ? Kade 02/11/11
Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12

Thanks geranium I will!
How are you feeling now?

Hi Nessalina

Glad you have got through it, sounds quite painful but it's good they gave you diamorphine.

The memory pack sounds really lovely, I wish my hospital had done something like that for us, it was quite a small hospital and just in the gynae ward so maybe that's why they didn't, I do feel like I would like something tangible to remember my son by.

I had quite a rollercoaster of emotions in the days after my termination - I went from being almost euphoric that it was over, to devastated and tearful, on a daily basis. I guess that on top of the loss, hormones are doing weird things at that time. Anyway, look after yourself and be kind to yourself the next few days, and try and get lots of rest.

Take care x

i'm on the mend thanks - 3 weeks since I lost the baby and starting to feel a bit stronger. You WILL pull through! :)

Glad to hear it! I'm feeling better everyday, though it's surprising what will suddenly make me feel horribly sad again Mostly though I'm enjoying being at home and getting things in order - very soothing having a big tidy and throw out!!

Just checking in to see how you are doing Daft and Ness, hope you are both ok.

Hey! Sorry I missed your message Ali I'm ok, just coming to the end of my two weeks off work, which I'm a bit sad about, but I've been very lucky to have time to think and grieve, and I'm feeling pretty good. Saw an old friend tonight whose mum passed away recently, so we swapped war stories, and I had a bit of a cry which I hadn't done for a while, so it felt good to get it out. I'm ready to move on I think, and I'm excited to try again, but I've decided that I'm not going to leave her behind... there's a little space in my heart to keep her safe.

Hi Ness, glad you are doing ok, hope your return to work goes alright, it's good you had some time off. It's strange isn't it, I was desperate to move on but also do not want to forgot the little boy I lost.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

I am another who was desperate to move forward, but I did find it much easier to do by keeping my lost baby with me.

How is your pregnancy progressing, Ali? Not long until the next scan, if I've remembered your dates right!

Yeah, I am now 18 weeks and don't feel pregnant any more so I am completely stressed about that and we haven't told anyone anything yet cos I am paranoid. (But I think it's normal for stuff like morning sickness to disappear around now - can't believe I am actually missing the sickness!)

I was really ill with a cold type virus a couple of weeks ago and keep thinking it's affected the baby.

3 more weeks until my 20 week scan, maybe I will feel some movements before then.

Hopefully the scan will be ok but I can then see myself stressing about something else instead, argh!

Hope you are ok lostlove, and everyone else on the thread.

Glad things are going well Ali! You must be counting down the minutes til the 20 week scan! I'd like to think I'd calm down after 12week scan, but I expect I'll be a nightmare for the whole of my next pregnancy - whenever it may come!
Period following TFMR has only just dragged itself to a stop, dying for the next one to start so we can get back to TTC!

Hello all. Glad to hear you're doing OK. sending baby dust your way..... We have been very busy with a house move which has taken our minds off all things baby, but getting back to TTC again.... bit scary but going for it....

Hey all
Quick question - how long did it take your cycle to get back in order? It's 5 weeks tomorrow since it happened, and the last week I've had the odd gentle cramp, and occasional light brown discharge, but it is very thin and light. When it started I thought it was AF, but then it went away, and today it's back. Normally AF starts with a bang, so I'm confused and a bit worried that it's an infection or something. Any of you have similar happen?

Hi Nessalina, I think I may have had similar, certainly remember odd random discharges (sorry TMI!) and cramps after the bleeding stopped, and was obsessing about whether I was ovulating, AF coming, implantation bleed (optimist!) or what. But then soon after, AF did arrive and the next month everything was back to normal. So hopefully everything is ok with you too...

Apologies for a copy and paste of a previous post, but for me:

The bleeding stopped 13 days after my medical termination. I had what might've been EWCM (so possibly ovulation) for three days after that, but I can't be sure as I wasn't using OPKs.

A day later, 17 days after the termination, I had a positive HPT from the residual pregnancy hormone. I then didn't test for a few days, but on day 22 I had a negative HPT.

I got my period 32 days after the termination (longer and heavier than usual, but I'd read this can be the case) and my cycle went back to normal after that.

From Googling, I think ovulation can normally be expected two to three weeks after termination. But also that hCG (the hormone that HPTs detect) can persist for up to four weeks.

Do get checked out if you're at all worried though.

Well I had my 20 week scan and all was well, which was a load off my mind. I still won't be totally happy until he (it's a boy! :) ) is actually here in my arms though. But for now at least I can feel him kicking me lots, quite uncomfortable in fact right in the bladder etc - with DD I felt very little as had anterior placenta. It is lovely to feel him moving around.

I hope everyone else is doing ok, this thread has been quiet lately, hope this means you are all busy having Christmas fun!

I want to wish a brighter and better 2014 to everyone who has ever posted on or needed this thread. I'm sitting here with my two beautiful boys (Frederick was born safely and completely uneventfully on the 22nd of October) who bring me so much joy that I feel the pain of the last few years finally receding. I want to thank everyone on these threads who has helped me get there.

Much love to you all and here's to sunny days ahead!

Thanks Ghislaine, and congrats on Frederick's arrival, wonderful news!

Yes, Ghislaine, a thoughtful and positive post for the New Year, thank you, and belated congratulations on the birth of Frederick May 2014 bring even more happiness to you and your family.

Ali, so pleased that your scan was good, but completely understand not feeling able to relax until the baby is safely here.

I've been meaning to post for ages but kept putting it off. I'm also pregnant, due a bit before Ali. Everything is fine this time, as far as anyone can tell. I promised myself I'd be happy after the anomaly scan if it was clear, but it's been difficult to go from holding back my feelings to believing that I'll hold another living baby of my own. Just after Christmas I had a few days of being overwhelmed by a mix of grief and anxiety. DP was so kind and patient and stayed with me - physically and emotionally - while I worked through it and I feel better now.

Wishing everybody well and hoping to hear more good news this year x

Congratulations lostlove

I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago - absolutely terrified it's not going to work out again. And if wasn't for the absolute exhaustion and sore boobs, I'd think I was making it up as it feels so different from before.

Xx

The odds are in your favour, Pickles (and of course I'll be sending all my positive thoughts your way).

How many weeks are you now and do you think you will test again? I found the time between the positive pregnancy test and the prenatal test went painfully slowly, but I guess it must be getting near to that time if that's what you plan to do.

Wow congratulations lostlove and Pickles, exciting news. When are you due?

Even though all is well this time, I do feel differently about this pregnancy than I did about the first one - it's a bit tainted by the knowledge that things could go wrong, I guess I was naive first time round.

But the odds are in our favour and it would be really bad luck for something bad to happen twice, so hopefully we can enjoy the next few months and will eventually get a bouncing baby in our arms.

Dating scan next Saturday (7 weeks), if that's all good - blood test at 9 weeks 2 days to see if it's a boy or girl. If it's a girl no more tests... Boy means cvs at 11 weeks with 50/50 chance of baby being ok or not....

So want it to be a girl and that we don't have to go through all the tests - If it doesn't work out I'll almost be embarrassed that I put myself/ us through it again.

Spoke to genetics counsellor and PGD waiting time is going to be reduced from 18 months to 6 so if it all does go to crap, we could do IVF...

Wow, that sounds really stressful :( I hope that it all works out ok though, fingers crossed it's a girl and then just over two weeks' time you can relax a bit (apart from the lovely morning sickness, eek).

I was pretty much in denial this time until the CVS, I just didn't really think about there being a baby at all, it was quite weird but was the only way I could get through it. I was pleased though when I got the BFP because that was the first hurdle out of the way.

What type of blood test tells you the gender, I haven't heard of that but it sounds good, better than waiting for CVS or scan etc.

Stress hasn't got to me yet... But that might be because I'm pretending it's not happening! As you said AliBingo I was so excited when I got the BFP and then that swiftly turned to anxiety so trying not to think about it till I have too

By 9 weeks- blood test can pick up male chromosomes or something along those lines in your blood... Clearly been listening to genetics counsellor! Haha xx

Well I hope the next few weeks go quickly for you. I found myself keeping really busy with work and other stuff as a distraction, which seemed to help.

Blood test sounds clever, I guess we are lucky these days with the tests we can get compared with even just a few years ago.