Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 4

[NatzCNL]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to concieve after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
Linspins ? Franklin 22/01/10
Shangrila ? baby boy 01/02/10
Can'tdothisagain ? Babycan't 12/04/10
Katerina100 ? baby boy 06/10
NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
Allstarsprincess ? Frank 30/07/10
Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
GinaFB ? Alexander 03/01/11
LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
Coffeeandchocolate ? Coffeebean 22/02/11
Rushingrachel ? Oliver 02/03/11
Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
Lisbeth Salander - baby boy 7/11
Stormbird ? George 24/07/11
Sarahmia ? baby girl 25/07/11
Eavers ? Jacob 11/08/11
Grandj ? Eliot 01/09/11
Babylily ? Miles 05/09/11
NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
Cherrybug ? Kade 02/11/11
Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12

Blood test on Monday and I'm driving myself insane trying to guess whether it's a boy or girl. Symptoms have been so different from before that up until a few days ago I was convinced I carrying a girl, now I just don't know

First time - puffy face, permanently flushed cheeks, awful nausea and lived on jacket potatoes and bread, furry tummy, couldn't eat chocolate and lost half a stone

This time - looked ROUGH until about a week ago, spotty, very little nausea, can eat most things unless they have strong flavour, face not puffy, no extra fuzz

Ahhhhhh

Hi Pickles

Good luck with the blood test, at least the long wait is almost over. Hope you are braver than me with needles!

Fingers crossed you are having a girl - will the results take long?

A lot of people do reckon that you have different pregnancies with a boy versus a girl so hopefully that's why you felt different this time. I am envious at your relative lack of nausea!

Ali
x

No news yet, we'd hoped we'd get the results today - but looks like we'll have to wait till tommorrow! Boo hiss xx

I hate waiting for results and why do they never seem to be early, sigh.

So results were inconclusive... Been back to hospital for another test! Results on Tuesday hopefully :-(

Oh no, Pickles - how dreadful having to wait all over again. Did they say what the reason was for the inconclusive result?

I'll be keeping everything crossed for you x

Hope you're well, Ali. Not long to go for us now. I'm really trying to enjoy the last few weeks but, truly, I just want April to hurry up and for everything to be ok!

Gosh, Lucky, that's a lot for you to have to deal with.

I'm sorry for your losses - you must be feeling very raw right now.

My apologies that I can't reply at greater length tonight. I didn't want to read and run but I have to get to bed soon, so I'll come back over the weekend.

One thing I wanted to say is that if those are your children's real names, it might make you identifiable in real life. You can use the 'Report' button next to your post to ask MNHQ to fix it (I think they can edit posts).

In the meantime, take care x

Pickles that 's so unfair, I hope the test results come early this time, and that you have been keeping busy over the weekend to try and distract yourself.

Lostlove, I know, I am wishing the weeks away as well really, although also dreading the actual birth so half of me is happy for time to carry on passing slowly! When in April are you due, I am towards the end so still got a good few weeks to go.

Lucky welcome to the thread, I am sorry to hear about your losses. I hope someone will come along who knows more about Pentasamy X, it sounds very rare.

We're having a girl
Xxx

Amazing! What wonderful news! Congratulations

Fantastic news! So happy for you. Yay! x

Hey, congrats! Awwww
We just found out today that we're expecting again!
Very exciting and obviously also pretty terrifying, but just going to take every day as it comes.

Hey Lucky, welcome to the thread, and I'm so so sorry for your loss
You're in the right place, I expect there's not one of us who hasn't felt at least some of what you're feeling.
It's a heartbreaking decision, but if you were so positive that it was the right thing, then it WAS the right thing. It's not a matter of choosing one life over another, it's about making the best decision you can in a crappy situation, and with two young boys, it sounds like you did just that.
I still worry that we were selfish in our decision, but whilst I will always have a bit of my heart that is sad about it, I don't regret it. It was the best decision we could make in a horrible situation.
Hugs to you

Lostlove - Thanks for that advice. I'll see if I can get my childrens names removed (never thought of that!!)

Nessalina - Thanks for your kind words. I do know I made the right decision and these last few days have been a bit easier. A huge congratulations to you too; wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy

Hi everyone. I'm re-posting this as I had included some details which could potentially identify me in my previous note.

At our 12 week scan at the end of January we found out our baby had a high nuchal fold measurement and we were referred to the FMU unit for a CVS. The following week we found out our daughter had an extremely rare chromosome disorder called Pentasamy X. We were given an appointment with the Genetics team the following week and advised to do our own research beforehand. Through our research we found out just how rare this condition is (less than 25 reported cases in the world according to a report from 2004!!) and despite the lack of information about the condition long term the future didn't look good. We were absolutely heartbroken to read this. Through facebook I found a lovely lady in the USA whose daughter had the same condition and whilst she loved her daughter so much it was clear just how much care she required and how poor her health was. When we had our appointment with the Genetics team I think we actually knew more about the condition than them!! What they did say though was that there is not enough information about the condition and our daughter would never be able to have a normal life. We decided to not continue with the pregnancy. Life's hard enough at times and watching my little girl grow up with an uncertain future was not what we wanted. We also thought hard about the impact it would have on the boys we already have and there lives would change forever too. Two days later the pregnancy ended. I do know what I did was the best for everyone; its just gonna take a while to heal and already I want to be pregnant again but so scared it will happen again and I'll have to go through this horror once more. I don't want to end my pregnancy days like this. We're not going to rush into anything straightaway but I'd like to think I will have the courage to try again. When you do fall pregnant again after such a horrible time previously how do you stay positive and go about your daily life until you hopefully get the all clear? I know I have the boys and I'm so grateful to have them but I'm scared I'll turn into a bitter old woman after this experience and if it happens again I'll just lose it all together.

If anyone else has any knowledge of Pentasamy X I would be so grateful if you could share it or your story with me. Especially anyone else who had this in a previous pregnancy and then went on to have a healthy child. Big hugs for everyone and hoping our dreams come true.

Congrats Nessalina, that's great news! I guess now you have lots of decisions to take regarding what next i.e. to CVS or not, but if you can just get through the next few weeks hopefully all will be well xx

Thanks Ali We've pretty much decided to pay for the Harmony test or equivalent if there's any issues, which I hope there isn't! CVS was hideous, I'd hate to do it again!

Hi,

I posted a thread last night and it was suggested to come on here if that's ok?

I had a TFMR in December due to anencephaly. DP and myself have decided to start ttc in November this year, I've had my coil taken out already as I wanted to give my body a break and be as healthy as possible by November time.

I have been on a prescription of 5mg frolic acid since jan 13 and will continue to take it.

Having my coil out has made it so real. I'm suffering from terrible anxiety at the moment, I keep crying as it's bought it all back to the front of my mind. I'm terrified there will be something wrong again and that the complications I had after (retained products, infection and haemorrhage) have damaged my tubes/womb in some way. I feel like I'm going crazy and even my mum has told me to get over it as it's the past.

Am I crazy? Or is this normal? I have never met or spoken to anyone else who's been through this.

Glad you found this thread BitchPeas. The post just a little bit down (Lucky 3878) is my story........ I am SO scared to try again but the alternative for me would be a lifetime of possible regret and wondering if things would have worked out. I hope someone who was in a similar position comes forward with some advice for you. In our case I haven't actually found anyone in the UK who has/had a child affected with Pentasamy X. Fortunately for me through my many google searches I found a lady on facebook (In USA!) who's daughter has the condition. This amazing lady had offered me so much support and its her who has given me hope to one day try again. I'm sure when it comes to it I'll be terrified though. Lots of luck for your future

Thank you lucky I read your post with years in my eyes. I'm so sorry for your loss. The lack of Info must be hard. Google can be your worst and best friend in these situations I think.

Fingers crossed for you in the future. It's going to be a rocky road but hopefully we will both get there in the end.

Hello,

I hope you dont mind me posting on here. Im a very old face and Ive not been on here for such a long time. I just wanted to firstly send my love to the ladies who are going through such a heart breaking time at the moment. I really wish things were different for you but I am glad you have found this support page. I first came across this thread in 2010 when we discovered out daughter had Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome and Turners Syndrome. It was the darkest time of my life, as we had been told in no uncertain terms that she would not survive the pregnancy.

There is nothing anyone can say or do to ease the loss of a much wanted baby. This forum was a life-line for me. The devestation of your loss is then followed by the fear of trying again. In my experience it was possibly one of the most stressful things Ive been through. We did try again, and we did conceive again, but that pregnancy (my fourth and very uneventful) was by far my longest and most worrying pregnancy. Which is why we decided not to have any more after our baby girl was born.

I dont know if you saw the Thread Babies in my original post at the beginning, but the reason I did that was to give hope to those who felt that there may be none. And since then there have been a few more additions (I do intend to eventually update that list).

If any of the other 'older faces' are reading this thread still, I just wanted to say thank you for all your support. I haven't been on here for about a year now (Ghislaine - CONGRATULATIONS on baby boy number 2!!) - it's been a pretty rough year and sadly my MIL lost her battle against cancer in October 2013. The kids have been ok, although DD2 was curled up crying on Friday because she misses her. My Cara has been heavily on my mind recently and although it was 3.5 years ago now, some days it really does stop me in my tracks and I just remember it all so clearly. But I am also so proud of how far we have come.

Sorry to intrude, I dont really belong on this thread any more - but I just had to stop in

Natz xx

Hello everyone. For those of you with your babies and those of you mourning your babies, I hope this Mothering Sunday has brought you some peace and some joy.

Natz! So nice to hear from you, though you mustn't be silly. Of course you belong on this thread - it's a home you can always come back to, and one where you never need to explain yourself. So sorry to hear about your MIL, and of course Cara. I know exactly what you mean about how long ago it all was and yet sometimes when I think about it, the pain hits me like an arrow through the heart. I think DH and I have finally got to a place where we can arrange a marker at the grave site.

To all the new posters, you'll find here a lot of wisdom, kindness and understanding, plus plenty of practical advice. I second Natz that this thread was a lifeline for me when I terminated my first pregnancy for T21. When you are hurting more than you could ever believe is possible and wondering 'why me', I would lurk here and read the words of others who were going through the same emotions and feel less alone.

I would just say that the desperate desire to conceive again is pretty common - it's not as if we can just turn the page and leave that part of our life behind. Luckily most of us have managed it and the list of the beginning is the proof that life goes on and it is possible to have a healthy baby, however much you might doubt it now.

natz, Ghislaine and to everyone else on this thread hello. in also an 'older' later. today was bittersweet for me as it marked 3 years since we said goodbye to our baby Eve - we tmfr for t21 and other issues - particularly an extremely large cystic hygroma. these last few years has been really hard (on me in particular) as I found myself having to be in the position of being completely selfish and putting the needs of my family before my own, head over heart. had Eve been our first child I would never have ended my pregnancy, however we had 2 young sons at the time, the second of whom had his own problems having been born very prematurely. as with any one who end up on this thread it was the hardest decision of my life, and while the pain has lessened over the years there is not a day goes by when I don't think about her, or wonder how things might have been different. I guess I struggle a lot with the decision I made, even though I know it was the right one for my family at that time. I overheard my eldest son telling a friend that he had a sister who was poorly in mummy's tummy who we were going to visit today and it broke my heart.
there was however a silver lining - I was blessed with a 3rd son a year after losing Eve, and he makes my heart so happy as do all my boys. in not sure of the point of this post really (it's late, I'm tired!) maybe I just needed to share with those i know understand. being mum truly does sometimes mean putting the happiness and needs of your family before your own. but I'm blessed with 3 beautiful children and one very special angel x

Hi everyone,

I posted a thread on pregnancy recently and AliBingo invited me over here, cheers Ali!

I'm 5 weeks + 5 pregnant just now, after 5/6 months of obsessive TTC-ing since I had a termination for T21 last year. I also have a wonderful (and extremely headstrong ) 2.5 year old DD. I was so happy to see the second pink line but realise I am in for a worrying few months until we can have the screening and then probably amnio (assuming I get that far). I live overseas and CVS doesn't seem to be on offer here so it means a bit of a longer wait.

Apart from a few days of tears after the termination, I haven't felt very sad or guilty about it at all. Not sure what that says about me. After the amnio the result came very quickly, and I remember my main feeling was relief, since we were so sure something was wrong (mainly from very unusual blood test results) and at least with a definite result we knew what we would do.

Things feel ok this time at this v early stage, no early bleeding yet as I had last PG, though I think that didn't happen until 6-7weeks. I am very eager to start getting sick! as I don't really have any symptoms yet. Looking forward to a scan to check everything is ok, which is happening on Wed 16th all being well.

Sending good vibes to everyone on this thread, it has been lovely to find you and read your stories.