Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Oh kittens. Can't believe your crappy run at the moment. Or how well you seem to be holding up. You're a much stronger woman than me-not that that's any consolation. I think about you often and keep my fingers crossed for a silver lining very soon. Has it really been a year since we met up? Perhaps time to do it again? I do pop into London regularly even though I'm still off work so weekday lunch is definitely easy to arrange.

Sorry for my lack of engagement with all the new and imminent babies. Ghislane, as well as a little bit of exhaustion, goldfish-like memory is also to be expected. I can't keep up, but I am really happy to hear all the progress and good news. Just remember there is no right way to do anything - no matter what the books say. That's where I went wrong at the start, although after the stress we all go through to finally get a baby, it's no wonder the anxiety can last through the first weeks as well.

Anyway, keep up the good work ladies and love to you all. And have a wonderful wedding day katiecubs! I might have a go at putting together some of the missing stats if I get a nice long naptime soon (I live in hope) so might post a longer list soon. xxx

hi all. kitten Im also sorry that things are not good for you at the moment. I hope your mum is well enough to enjoy your visit at christmas and that next year holds good news as well as bad.

Ghislaine, I hadn't realised you were so far on. I agree with Poot that the books are not always right. They are a good guide and have about one useful thing per book as far as I can tell. Personally I don't mind the tiredness and always keep my babies with me for the first six months and don't even try to put them to bed before me until that age. With the two younger ones I have found getting up to feed them at night very enjoyable as there is no one else around so i get them to myself (although it is cold so slippers pjs and blanket or dressing gown are essential as well as a good chair and pillow). My mum 'helps' me in the same way as it sounds yours does - its nice to let them do it as they are grannies but get a balance - if you are having an elcs then you can't hoover (up to 6 months) or drive (six weeks) so set them tasks when they arrive. I asked my mum to hoover for me. Looking forward to hearing about your arrival in four weeks, it will whiz by with xmas and new year in the way. does that mean you are due 11 jan?

have a lovely wedding katie. x

Dah, dah-dah DAH... Well done katiecubs and mr katiecubs, hopefully happily married by now!

Kittens, I'm so sorry to hear your update. It all sounds very hard and you must feel pulled in all directions. I am really hoping that next year is your year and you know that we're all thinking of you. On a more prosaic note, I used progesterone during my IUI cycles earlier this year, and up the bum is definitely the way to go!

My ECLS is just one month away - so not quite four weeks (sounds better that way!). I am still stressing about my folks, not only because of the 'help' they think they're going to provide, but because of how they behaved when I lost my baby last year - ignoring me for weeks and then telling me I shouldn't be upset because I 'hate children anyway'. I know I've hashed it out here before but it is so hard to get over being treated that way by my own parents. I am really bewildered about how they think I'm happy with the man who called my first baby a 'freak' staying in my house and being all coochie-coo with this baby. My ECLS has been partially deliberately scheduled so I'll be in hospital for part of their visit.

Hello everyone, it?s been so long since I posted? so sorry in advance if I leave someone out. In my defence, the 9 month sleep regression struck and I am again shattered.

Cherry, I don?t think I congratulated you on the arrival of Kade, what a lovely name, and great news you?re now in your house again.

Katie, I wish you a wonderful day tomorrow (I?m sure it will be), and hopefully the weather will behave.

Ghislaine, 4 weeks to go, wow! I just wanted to say that I was feeling the same as you about my mum, who although not as insensitive as your dad by far, just tried to ?forget? about my little girl, never mentioned her or my distress, and just brushed everything under the carpet. Once I gave birth, everything changed, and I was actually happy she was doting on Coffeebean, she obviously loves him so much. I know though that burying her head in the sand is her way of coping with unpleasant things, and she has recently mentioned that she didn?t want to talk about something which would make me sad. I think she struggles with someone showing strong emotions, as I would have shown had she given me a shoulder to cry on. I think once the baby is here you will just know what to do, maybe drop some hints as to how much practical help you will need after the birth, and how you won?t be able to do anything but look after the baby, etc.

Manitz, glad to hear baby Einstein is well and lets you sleep for a bit as a bonus. When I have a second baby (if the tiredness ever wears off that is?) I?ll just enjoy the cuddles without worrying in the back of my mind about rods, backs and other things. There?s so many things I just wish I knew before stressing about what I should do!

Poot, I?d love a meet up again too, I go back to work in January and will be in London a lot. I hope Jacob is well, although not napping, it seems from your post.

Kittens, as usual I have no idea what I could say to you, except that I?m very sorry and you deserve so much better. I also think of you often. Un-MN hugs.

Helenlouisey, congratulations and great news on the first scan! And Mrsbigz, what a stressful time, I?m keeping everything crossed that babybigz is very comfy and in no hurry to get out. You sound so so strong.

As for us, it?s all going well, 10 months next week? Just when I thought we were getting somewhere with the sleep, the 9 months sleep regression hit, plus pulling up to standing, teething, colds? so we seem to be back to square one. I?m happy to co-sleep if necessary, but he?s so unsettled I end up waking up every couple of hours. He?s teething like mad though, and has another cold at the moment, poor little poppet, so it?s understandable. Other than that, I find it very strange to think January is so close and I have to go back to work?

What a mega post! I don?t want to end though before waving hello to all the other ?oldies?, Cantdo, Mishta, Numpty, bezzyk, Babylily, I hope everyone is well. xxxx

Hi
Please can I join you ladies? I normally hang out on the sister thread but am 11 weeks after array cgh ICSI. We lost our first baby in March to t21 and an 11mm nuchal.
I have my nuchal on Thursday at fetal medicine and am very nervous.
Also about to go to my mw booking in and want to request an elective c section. We've been through so much with the 2.5 yrs infertility and 2 losses. I just can't face natural birth, I was scared before but now have anxiety issues. I don't mind the risks of a c section for myself
Anyone else in this situation?
Will have a read and try and get to know you all and do personals
Xxx

Sorry that was meant to read the risks of a cs for myself as long as the baby is ok.

Katie!!!! (or should that be Mrs Katie :) ) - i hope you've had a wonderul day today! Did you have snow where you were? xxxxx

lBlacktreacle - hi hun, can't believe you're that far along already! i think after what you've been through then electing for a c-section is quite normal, you do whatever you think is necessary to get your baby here safely and stress-free! good luck with your nuchal on thursday - because you've had the array icsi then i suppose there is very little risk of a chromosomal problem, however it's the mental side of actually having the nuchal again that is scary.....i remember mine like it was yesterday and i was sick as a dog all day and night long from the nerves. saying that i'm sure you'll be fine and please update us when you get your results through xx

Coffee - lovely to hear from you and that coffeebean is doing so well. it's amazing how quickly time flies isn't it - thinking about work again in the new year must be quite strange! i'm only planning on taking about 7/8 months this time around (as hubby is self emplyed and works at home!) and i'm sure it will pass in no time.

Ghislaine - wow, you are so close now!!! it's lovely that all of us are getting closer and closer to our due dates, and i can't wait to hear your news that baby ghislaine has arrived safely :)

Cherry - yay for being back home, and well done for having survived that period, i can only imagine how stressful it must have been, especially with a new baby. on that note, hope baby Kade is doing wonderfully well and you all have a lovely first christmas together x

Hello to everyone else (sorry for distinct lack of ALL personals) - i have a horrible cold and just want to lie on the sofa and sleep for england!!

i wanted to say thank you to everyone for the support you've shown in the past few weeks re: my various issues!!! you'll be pleased to know that on monday at my consultant appointment my cervix looked to have grown slightly in length (only 3-5mm but hey - that's good!!!). it was a different consultant doing the measuring but i'm sure they must be all trained the same way!!! So for now, i'm still on the cyclogest (thanks too for the reassurance that i'm putting them up the right hole LOL!!), baby bigz is still inside me rather than venturing out, and i'm hopeful i'll at least get through christmas without him making an appearance. it was ds2's birthday yesterday (2yrs) and it brought back all the memories of the early birth, SCBU, incubators etc - so i'm really not wanting to repeat that in a hurry!!

will be back again soon when i'm feeling more human and will promise to do more personals next time - until then take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone!Hi everyone
Long time no post! I have been meaning to, but it takes me forever to write on this enormous thread ? it makes the computer chug chug chug. So I?m writing this in Word and pasting it. Here goes?

Kittens ? I am so sorry that things aren?t working out yet, and sad about your mum, and frustrated for you that you are now struggling with getting pregnant. I think private consultation makes sense ? it?s good to have a plan. And this has GOT to be your year. I have everything crossed for you.

Cherry, so glad you are home. You deserve a medal!

Manitz, you sound so chilled. How have Sacha?s siblings adapted to the baby?

Mrs Bigz, great news that the baby is staying put. Your pregnancy certainly
has been a stressful time. You are coping admirably.

Katie (Mrs Katie!) CONGRATULATIONS. I don?t expect you?re reading?. Maybe you are drinking champagne somewhere?.

Helenlouisey, so pleased for you that the scan went well. I recall the heart in mouth fear.

Ghislaine, nearly there now! A New Year baby! Your parents sound tricky. Though actually my PILs are a bit like that and I have to say they were fab when they came after Babycant (I had an ELCS). They really helped with DD1 and they let me rest, etc. Mind you ?Manitz- are you sure about 6 months without hoovering?! I wasn?t told that! I missed a trick there.

Blacktreaclecat, congratulations. I am pretty sure you have nothing to worry about at the nuchal given the treatment you have had. Do understand the worrying anyway though! As for the ELCS, mine was medically indicated, but I understand that anxiety/maternal choice will allow you to have an ELCS according to NICE guidelines. The mw will probably refer you to a consultant but you should be allowed the ELCS.

Lovely to hear from some other oldies.. Poot, Coffee, Bezzy. Poot, you still sound uber-chilled. And Coffee, I went down the co-sleeping route too ? and yet Babycant now manages to stay in her cot mostly, so it?s done no harm! Work, well, IME the anticipation is worse than the reality, ie you dread it horrendously, and when you get there, actually, it?s okay. For me, it makes the time with the girls more special. I guess it depends on your job though!

Natz-how are your DDs all getting on together?

Mishtabel ? how is everything going? Bella must be going to turn 2 in January! Our babies are growing up!
Be good to hear from others if any other oldies are about?

Not much news from here. Both girls LOVE the Christmas decorations and lights. Babycant wanders around the room pointing at tree lights, light up gingerbread house, etc, shouting ?Lights on!? when we haven?t turned them on. She also loves spotting Santas. And yesterday it snowed and she looked out of the window and shouted ?it?s snowing!? but it sounded like ?it?s no-ing?. Think I might have gone a bit, ahem, overboard with my Christmas shopping.
Anyway ? hopefully will be back sooner next time. Thinking of you Kittens in particular. Wishing you all a happy, restful Christmas.

Hi all, just a note to wish one and all a very happy Christmas! I've given up trying to get the house completely organised. No point stressing more - had enough stress to last me a lifetime and the grey hairs to prove it!

Kittens - things are so very hard for you, you are under such strain. I hope your mum fights off the infection quickly and has some respite from the pain and that you all have some peace and can enjoy Christmas day. I'm sure just having you there will help. And like everyone, hope that 2012 brings you good things.

MrsBigz - great baby is staying put and lets hope its well into 2012 before he makes an appearance! You are doing ever so well. Hats off!

Ghislaine - I didnt realise you were so close either! How exciting, are you prepared? Well as you ever can be! I remember with DD I read everything about pregnancy and birth but kind of forgot about the parenting bit! Re your parents - I guess you'll have to wait and see how you feel when baby is here, let them do the practical stuff and do things with the baby your way not theirs.

Blacktreaclecat - congratulations and hope the nuchal scan goes well on Thursday. Its been said time and again but one hurdle at a time is the only way to get through the fear ridden journey.

Manitz - glad sacha is doing well, 6 hours a night is great! I'm getting 3 at a stretch which is better than it was. I dont mind though, this is my last baby so I'm not wishing any time away! Hope your DS is adjusting. Its hard isn't it when you see their insecurity. DD is much better since we moved back. Her behaviour was awful at the in laws. I think it was all too much for her, starting nursery followed by house fire followed by baby brother. She was getting upset, angry, being really disobedient and was in tears every morning going to nursery. She was also playing out fantasy games constantly with an imaginary friend and thats reduced a lot since we got back home. Poor love, I'm so glad she seems happier now. Hope it continues. She does seem to have a lot of affection for the baby, holds his hand when he cries which is very cute. Thanks for sharing your experience re prolapse -GP has referred me to Gyno so will see what I get told then. I'd read that these things can feel better once you stop BFing so thats something to hope for. Though I'm hoping to BF for the first year if possible so a long time to wait!

Hi to Natz, Babylily, Grandj and everyone else!

hiya long time no post from me, i am 3 weeks away from my c section due to another big boy lol all is well, and hope everyone else is as well

Hello all, just a very fleeting post from me, I will post properly soon!

Babynatz is 12 weeks now and I think she has begun teething as she has been screaming for the past few days and gnawing at anything that goes near her mouth (yes, still breast feeding and nipples are suffering)

Am back working from home of a night when all the girls are sleeping, and also back on the wedding planning. Thankfully school is out for Xmas so only getting up when the kids are up and not having to do the school run.

Katie - Congratz on the wedding! Hope you are enjoying your first week as a newly wed.

Kittens - big hugs to you, thinking of you often.

Ghislaine - so exciting, nearly at the end of the road. I wish you all the best with the C-setion. Same goes to you Gillian! Look forward to hearing all of your happy news.

Helenlouisey - wonderful news on the scan, I hope you are keeping well?

Manitz - sounds like Sacha is a dream, bless him Sienna has given us a few long sleeps of a night too, but also some pretty restless ones too.

Welcome Blacktreaclecat and congratulations, I will be thinking of you on Thurs

Lovely to hear from you Cant, my girls are totaly in love with each other, the bigger ones cant get enough of Sienna, but get a bit over excited by her at times. I walked into the front room yesterday to see why the two eldest girls were giggling so hard to find them swinging Sienna in her swing chair to the point where she was upside down with a very shocked and confused look on her face

Sorry for so few personals, I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and New Year. Back to trying to get our wedding sorted - only just over 3 months to go, and still about a stone to shift!!!

Hi
We had the nuchal scan, great news. 1.4mm, everything else looked great. With bloods risk of t21 1 in 25000, t13/18, 1 in 50000!
Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas and the New Year brings us all healthy babies

great news btcat. Really glad you got the reassurance you need. Those are great numbers!

hello everyone... i wrote a nice long post last night that seems to have vanished...aaaargh
in brief...
lovely to read positive scan news and that babies are all thriving, hoping mrsbigz that baby stays put as long as poss and that all goes well after all the stress.
miles is growing into a little pudding- 15 weeks already...this time last year i wouldve been 3 weeks pregnant with him!

lovely cosy xmas wishes to all xx

No time to post properly, but couldn't go to bed without wishing you all a lovely Christmas. It's near midnight Christmas Eve here and last of presents finally wrapped, though Santa is still yet to visit.

I caught up with the thread last week, though the time it took to do so left me no time to post. As memory is hazy at best of times, I can't remember all the details, but do remember there are congratulations in order for Katie (MrsKatie), Helen, and Blacktreacle. YAY to you all. Also to MrsBigz, for coping so well with what I imagine to be one very stressful pregnancy! Hoping Babybigz has no grand plans of an appearance any time soon.

Kittens, I think of you often, and hope you are bearing up okay with all you have on your plate xx

Lovely to get updates on the babies and toddlers. Would love to be able to actually see them all. Yes Cant, Bella will be turning 2 next month - time has just flown, as I imagine it has for you also :)
14 year old DD (who turns 15 in Boxing Day) returned to school about one month before summer break. She's going fine. Not everything is perfect, but she has coped admirably, and I'm very proud of her.

Better go do the Santa thing before I fall asleep and he is a no-show (have always had a fear that will actually happen one year)

Love to you all, and best wishes for tomorrow xxxx

Ladies, just popped on to your thread, as an 'old timer', there at the beginnings of this area. I wanted to say that I am thinking of you all, and wish you a very happy Christmas. I am peeling sprouts in the kitchen, listening to carols on the radio, and spending a bit of time thinking of all the ladies who supported me through the loss of my babies and subsequent pregnancies. My two are now 5 and almost 2, and I am thankful every day for their wonderfulness. Big hugs to everyone trying to make a little life, and those on the rollercoaster of pregnancy. A peaceful New Year to you all. Lins. xxxxxxxx

Hello you beautiful, wonderful lot you. And a very Merry Christmas. Really lovely to hear from Lins too - glad you're well. How lovely to see you here after I've just spent a very emotional few hours reading back through the threads to finish our list of successful new arrivals. Hopefully to add hope for those still on the journey. I'd almost forgotten how much I used to rely on this thread; when pregnant #2, not pregnant again, and then all through growing my little dot into the massive great big Jacob asleep next door. And you really are the most amazing, supportive and completely fantastic bunch of people I could ever have wished to meet. I don't know what I'd have done without you. So, without further ado - here is the story so far:

Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
Linspins ? Franklin 22/01/10
Shangrila ? baby boy 01/02/10
Can'tdothisagain ? Babycan't 12/04/10
Katerina100 ? baby boy 06/10
NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
Allstarsprincess ? Frank 30/07/10
Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
GinaFB ? Alexander 03/01/11
LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
Coffeeandchocolate ? Coffeebean 22/02/11
Rushingrachel ? Oliver 02/03/11
Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
Stormbird ? George 24/07/11
Sarahmia ? baby girl 25/07/11
Eavers ? Jacob 11/08/11
Grandj ? Eliot 01/09/11
Babylily ? Miles 05/09/11
NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
Cherrybug ? Kade 02/11/11

And I look forward to seeing the list grow and grow. I do hope I've got all the dates and names right!! So sorry if I've added typos... Coffee - I wasn't sure if you'd rather have Victor's name or Coffeebean so I've left that for you to change if you'd like to.

So many names I'd almost forgotten. And others who have been gone a while - Mimsystar, Mooms, Gooldy, MrsBrightonGirl, Bee, Peanut.....hope you're all ok.

Much love again to you all and very best wishes for 2012. I'm still here and thinking about you all, even though I don't post so often. xxxxx

Hello Poot! How funny, I'd just been doing the same as you, going through the past threads and compiling a list! I didn't spot Stormbird, but there is one name to add - that of Lisbeth Salander (a DS born at the beginning of July 2011). Plus there have been many others who have been here for part of a journey, getting support through the early days of facing scans and fears.

Anyway I hope this thread continues to give the much needed hand to hold to any who want it; and I'm so glad to have 'met' some of you lovely ladies along the way here! Love to all, past and present. xx

As usual I have no time to post - bound to be up the stairs again in a minute, Eliot is v unsettled in the evenings... but was quickly reading everyone's posts earlier and just wanted to jump on to say happy new year to everyone. I can honestly say that this board got me through the very scary and stressful months of my pregnancy. It was, and continues to be so helpful to be connected to people who can really understand what we've sadly all been through. So thank you ladies, for all the support over the last year, and looking forward to all the happy news of more babies being born in 2012 xx

Hi everyone, sorry for lack of personals, but I couldn't end 2011 without wishing everyone a very happy new year. And a special thought for Kittens, may this be your year! A big thank you from me as well for always listening and for all your help, it has meant so much. I was putting Coffeebean to bed a bit earlier and I shed a tear thinking of the 31st of December last year, when I was pregnant and anxious and all I wanted was a healthy baby to bring home... and here he is, and one year later I am so changed, so exhausted but so, so happy... And I'm also thinking of my dear Silvia and all our lost babies tonight...

Getting all emotional now, and I have to log off. Big un MN hugs to you all xxxx

I wanted to wish everyone here a hopeful and happy 2012, and to say a heartfelt thank you for all your love and support this year and the last: there is nowhere else like it and no-one else who understands what we have gone through.

Much love to you all.

Special thoughts going out to Eggletina, Kittens, and Flower tonight. May 2012 be your year.

A quick post to say Happy New Year to you all. I wont do any personals as I am mid Christmas-clear-up at the moment, but wanted to let you know that you are all in my thoughts, especially those who are not long into their journey. I remember moving into 2011 with a very heavy heart but also so much optimism.

I hope 2012 brings so much love and happiness to each and every one of us.

Thank you for the list LittlePoot, so inspiring to read xxx

Happy New Year everybody! What a lovely post Poot, almost got a bit teary then :) i feel exactly the same.

Well done with the stats list too, how wonderful to see so many babies have been born since the thread started, i really didn't think it had been so many.

Really sorry i have not had time to read though all the posts in detail but i just wanted to drop by and thank you all so much for the well wishes for our wedding. It was a truly magical day, we had mulled wine, carols, candy canes, a gingerbread house plus a visit from father christmas himself! All in all a proper Christmasfest of a wedding .

I hope everyone else had a good Chrsitmas and New Year - so lovely to hear the little ones are doing so well. May there be many more joining us in 2012.

Kittens, have been thinking of you. Hope you had a nice Christmas with your Mum - how are you all doing? xxxx

p.s have just uploaded a few photos from our wedding to my profile if anyone is interested xx

My computer REALLY doesn?t like this thread; I have to c&p from Word to write in it! Crazy! Anyway, Happy New Year to all and may 2012 be a year of healthy pregnancies, babies and toddlers. May it also be Kitten?s year ? I am thinking of you a lot.
Thank you for the list Poot and Numpty ? v inspirational. We are overwhelmingly a thread of baby boys if you count through; how odd!
Katie, you look gorgeous, absolutely beautiful; the wedding looks lovely, and Felix looks so grown up! He?s adorable.
Hi Linspins, one of our founder members, so nice to hear from you and everyone else. Thank you everyone for the thread. The pregnant/TTC thread is 2 years old now. And soon our first thread babies will be two.
Ghislaine, you must be getting excited! Are you on maternity leave now?
My