Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Very quick update (for those who are interested) ? just to warn it?s pg related though?..
CCAM: The latest on the CCAM is that it doesn?t appear to have grown in the 2wks since my last appointment. Will have more information though next Friday (2nd) when we have our specialist apt at the FMU in Oxford). It still doesn?t seem to be putting any pressure on the heart or other organs which again is reassuring, nor are there any signs of hydrops which is the other concern. Still may have to have a c-section and possibly deliver in Oxford
PREMATURITY: cervical length still looking good (although slightly shorter than last time), and no sign of any leaking fluid or funnelling. Reach viability next wk which is a huge milestone, and then after that I?ll be hoping to make it to 30wks which is when my waters broke with ds2! No need (currently) for steroid injections, but will be reviewed at my next apt. in a months? time. Will also speak to the paediatricians at my local hospital, so that should i go into early labour they?re well informed about my situation?.
PLACENTA: well, it is still placenta praevia, but at the apt. yesterday she noted that it is about 3mm away from the opening of the uterus ? so it looks as though it is slowly moving up as baby grows. I really hope this is the case as it would be one less thing to worry about.
SCIATICA/PGD: ? bah humbug ? and I know it?s nothing compared to all the above, but have been getting shooting pains in my right buttock/leg which she said was either sciatica or pgd ? not much can be done other than ?keep it moving? and ?swimming it good for it? (but when!?) ? but really it?s the least of my problems so will just bear with it!
STUPID REGISTRARS: sorry ? I know we?ve all experienced them at some point or another but mine yesterday nearly gave me a heart attack. Was scanning me and doing measurements prior to my consultant arriving in the room, head and abdomen seemed fine and on track, but then he measured the femur length and got a measurement nearly 2 weeks behind what it should be?? Completely freaked me out as I know this can be a soft marker (and obviously I?ve not had any invasive testing this time around) so I asked him to re-measure which added a week on, but then didn?t trust either so thankfully my consultant re-did all the measurements (and got it almost exactly on track. And breath!!!!

sorry for the selfcentred post - will have a proper catch up soon xxx

Good heavens Mrs Bigz - you have got so many checks going on! I'm very glad to hear that for most things there are positive signs and that hopefully they are either perhaps improving or at least not getting worse. It must feel like the longest time, inching from week to week like this; and sciatica to top it all off! I know swimming perhaps won't be easy but is there any chance of going with the family, at a weekend? Mind you we only manage to get swimming once a month at best... Anyway, I hope time passes quickly until next week. You still sound very strong and calm.

and Katie - where is your wedding? Will you be in Brighton (or Hove actually)? Hope you enjoy all the getting ready and don't get stressed by it. It's a celebration; if things don't entirely go to plan it won't matter - well, just so long as your OH turns up, calls you by the right name and you put rings on fingers! We struggled with that last bit - DH was trying to put the ring on the wrong finger... I really loved my wedding day, it just went so fast - lots of great memories though .

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining the thread, I have been on and off the board for the past two years, when I had a termination at nearly 14 weeks for Edwards Syndrome. It has been a long journey as I had a lot of complications from the termination which basically left me infertile. However after several operations, I was able to get pregnant 6 months ago but had an early miscarriage.

I am now pregnant again, about 10 weeks, and have booked my scan for just over 2 weeks time. I am really trying very hard not to think about it, but just the thought of walking into the FMC again makes my heart race and I feel sick. I just don't know how I will get through the scan, although I know some how I will have to ( if fingers crossed I get through the next couple of weeks)

I just wondered what coping mechanisms you ladies had for getting through the scan? Did you explain your history before having the scan? I don't want the usual scan fluffiness, pointing out the feet, the hands, etc etc, and I would prefer no commentary at all and not even sure I'll be able to watch. If I could I'd be sedated for the scan and just be woken up after and told the prognosis.

I know this all sounds so dramatic but am sure you ladies will understand just how difficult the 12 weeks scan is. Any help or support you can give would be really really appreciated, at the moment my husband is just sticking his head in the sand, doesn't talk about the pregnancy, which i suppose is his coping mechanism, but doesn't offer me much in terms of the support and the help I need at the moment. Thanks x x x

Hi Helen - how lovely to hear your news, I think of you sometimes as I know you've had a hard time. Regarding scans, I know I found the anticipation and immediate run up to the scan was really difficult, so distraction worked best for me - reading trashy novels, watching films I loved, doing anything to fill the space I'd worry in otherwise. As for the scan itself, for me I had to have DH with me as for my bad scan I was on my own. Luckily it was the same person who did the scan - I contacted our FMC direct very early on in pregnancy, and due to some early bleeding and my age had scans at around 7wks and 9 wks as well as the nuchal scan. I think the best thing WOULD be to say 'before we start, I want you to understand my position' and lay it on the line to them; if you are too nervous, get your OH to do it. You can always then ask questions if you feel something needs to be clarified during the scan.

I hope the next weeks fly by and remember, if you are nervous, let us know when your scan is and folks here will sit on the virtual bench in the waiting room, thinking of you...

Congrats Helen!

Understand too well, where you're coming from. If I'm seeing a sonographer that doesn't know my past, I always say 'I have a horrible history, please bear with me' it's enough said without going into any detail, and usually means sonographer is sensitive and factual. (and also explains to them why I howl through my scans)

Good luck xx

Thanks ladies, my scan is two weeks Monday, we're off on holiday on Saturday for two weeks, so am hoping that two weeks with the family in the sunshine will help keep me distracted.

Numptymum, I had a scan at 7 weeks as well, everything looked fine and nice strong fast heartbeat. I was supposed to go today to see my consultant and have another scan today but I cancelled the appointment, I couldn't face going, and being told something was wrong and having to either worry for two weeks till the proper scan or cancel our holiday. It has been a tough 12 months ( well 2years actually) but in the past year we had a failed IVF, then another operation, which followed by a natural pregnancy, miscarriage, then another operation, hormone treatment and then finally this pregnancy naturally a couple of months later. I am tired of my life revolving round treatment, hospital appointments, trying to get pregnant, worrying about being pregnant, I just felt I needed this holiday not worrying about a scan I'd had just before going, which wouldnt have put my mind totally at rest anyway as was too early for the proper testing etc.

Bezzyk I fear I will be howling the whole way through the scan as well :-( the sonographer that did the 7 week scan I think was quite perplexed as to why we didn't seem that pleased or excited when she said there was a good heartbeat and everything looked great, as we left she said to us cheer up guys, that was a great scan, congratulations!!! It was comments like that which made me think I need to explain my history before having anymore scans !

Does the sonographer have to explain everything as they go along? Is it acceptable to ask them to just do the scan as quickly as possible and just explain good or bad findings at the end?

X

Hi Helen, and congrats!!!!! Hope you have a lovely holiday - whereabouts are you going?

with regard to your scan question - i'm lucky in that the consultant i'm under knows all about my history (as was my consultant then too) but when i've been for scans with other people i (like Bezzy) usually ask whether they've read my notes fully as i have a 'history' and would appreciate being given full and factual information as we go along. so far they have been pretty good with me and understood my wobbles / not wanting to look at the screen.

i know how scary the 12wk appt is - that was my worst fear and i was sick as a dog the day of mine (throwing up / the shakes!!!) - thankfully all seemed ok and we were confident enough to carry on without having invasive testing (which i really didn't want!). hope you get a similar experience xxxxxxxx

Hello everyone. I've been a bit overwhelmed with other life stuff recently (including my DH's redundancy and worries about how to deal with my parents coming over) so haven't felt I had the energy to participate.

BUT.....

Cherrybug - wheee! Congratulations on the safe arrival of little Kade. I hope you're not finding it too bad being out of your own home and that you can all be back there soon. I prescribe some newborn cuddles to pass the time....

helenlouisey - I'm really pleased to see you back here. Re scans, I know just how you feel. We all do. Perhaps you could alert the FMC in advance? When I had my screening scan in this pregnancy, I rang up to book and the first words out of my mouth were "I've had a previous trisomy pregnancy". It really helped set the scene for the way I was treated. Everyone was incredibly sympathetic and kind. The midwife who took my bloods even let us stay in a private room rather than having to face the waiting room with all the happy parents skipping out with their perfect scan pictures. Was it the FMC where your Edwards baby was diagnosed?

I won't lie, I did find the scan (and the days preceding it) very stressful. I burst into tears in the scan virtually straightaway. I didn't look at the screen, as one of the worst memories for me is watching the scan pictures, thinking those naive innocent thoughts, and then getting the bad news at the end. So I looked at the ceiling instead. I had a consultant doing my scan (two actually). Can you not request this? Your history puts you well out of the ordinary category. The consultant went straight for the trisomy soft markers and reported to me on each one - none of that cutesy 'oh look the baby's waving at you' stuff. I got a low risk result but went for cvs anyway and didn't really believe there might not be a chromosomal problem until I got the full karyotype report. No-one had a problem with this or tried to talk me out of it, they knew I needed it for my sanity.

Good wishes going out to mrsbigz, bezzyk, gillianread, and all the other pregnant ladies, and of course everyone here, whether you lurk or join in.

Thanks everyone, it really has helped to hear about all of your experiences and to know that I'm not to only one to have gone through this.

Mrsbigz we're off to the Caribbean, so hopefully some sun and relaxation will help me get through the next couple of weeks. I think we are just going to wait and see what the report and risk factor is before deciding whether to have any further testing.

Ghislaine- so hear about your husband's redundancy, must be a really stressful and worrying time. After reading your post I have actually emailed the FMC, which is where the T18 was diagnosed, well they gave us a 1/2 chance but said they were certain, it was just they couldn't give us any lower risks. We then had the CVS at my hospital as they were able to fit us in 2 days earlier to have the procedure, where T18 was confirmed. Will see what they come back and can offer now I've made them aware of my history. Like you say, the last thing I want is the 'oh look your baby's waving, look at its hands...these are it's feet' then 5 minutes later being told the baby has a syndrome which is incompatible with life, even now two years later the thought of that experience makes me want to cry, and the termination is something I don't think I will ever get over, just something you have to come to terms with and learn to live with, but never ever forget, you carry it will you everyday, and now facing another 12 weeks scan seems to have brought memories of it all the forefront of my mind.

Thanks again everyone

X

hi all. cherry many congrats. how is it going? mrs bigz everything seems good with you bloody spd though.obv not your most serious worry but its really horrible. helen i would go in and immediately tell my history. always cry and not look at the screen.good luck.
trying all baby massage but think sacha getting better at burping. also i had to tell you: he has a TOOTH!!! he is 9 weeks old. i suspect he might also be a genius.

hinking of all of u at the mo as it is about a year since we met up and was so soon after my termination so a very strange time for me. it really helped me and i want to say thanks. so much has changed for me since then. kitten i hope the next year is yours and that you are as well as possible.

sorry for brief message and bit strangely put. one fingr typing as am feeding einstein. x

wow - it's quiet here! i can only see that as a good thing though - babies taking up lots of cuddle time, pregnancies progressing nicely and christmas being prepared for - omg 2.5weeks to go til christmas!! aargh!

so - i've been having a bit of a rolllercoaster few weeks as you know and thought i'd quickly update you (just in case things happen quicker than anticipated and i'm out of action!!)

went to my consultant appt ton friday re: the CCAM. on the plus side, the CCAM while larger, he said at this point in time he didn't think it would be symptomatic after he was born, and as such i wouldn't need to deliver in a surgical ward (so can have him at my local hospital which is great instead of in Oxford)!
The placenta is being good and has moved away from the opening of my uterus - so that is looking very promising for a natural delivery.

But - and this is a BIG but........my cervix was only measuring 15mm - that is NOT good. And particularly not great to have a preemie baby who also has a CCAM.....he has prescribed me some pregesterone pessaries (which are delightful!!) and i have to take one a day, he said this could halve my chances of going into labour early. But girls, i'm only just 25 weeks and this is TOOO early for my little boy to consider making his grand entrance into the world!

I'm so scared right now. I think i've done so well up til now and coped with all the various problems that have been thrown at me, but right now, I don't know - i'm a bit of a mess. i'm scared enough about having another very early baby, as i remember all too well the first few weeks of DS2's life (he was born at 31wks), and how much of an emotional rollercoaster they were...but throwing the CCAM into the mix is freaking me out.

So - yesterday i managed to speak to my own consultant and she had me come in for a steroid shot and i have to go back this afternoon for the 2nd one - this is a precaution to help develop his little lungs. still on the progesterone, and will be seeing my consultant again next monday for another cervical measurement and growth scan. boo. so much for a stress free pregnancy from 20wks onwards.....x

Dear MrsBigz, I do hope all is still well in the world of Bigz and littleBigz; the days must be crawling by. Unfair that you should have to go through this, having already had to crawl through the days before all the scans too. I'm not surprised it is hard for you to deal with: I guess because you have experienced early birth before it raises more fears for you as being a possibility, and also you understand more all the issues around it. I hope that you gain some confidence through the care you are being given, and that littleBigz clings on for as long as he can...

Congrats Helenlouisey super news! Hope you are having/had a lovely hols, very jealous! Is your scan this monday? Will be thinking of you x

Mrsbigs hope you are ok, sounds very stressful indeed but at least you are in good hands. I will keep everything crossed your little one stays put for as long as humanly possible.

Manitz 9 weeks! Cripes, Felix was 8 months before he got his first tooth

Kittens if you are reading how are you doing hon? Hope all is ok xxxxx

Numpty thanks for your message. We are getting married in Worthing and then the reception is in Brighton. A week today i will be a MRS! Feeling excited but also very nervous - thanks for your advice though, i know you are right and i keep telling myself not to stress about the unimportant stuff.

Hope everyone else is well and enjoying the Chrsitmas build up. Have not had time to even think about it yet! Much love xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks katiecubs, yes holiday is over and was wonderful and relaxing, I think I slept close to 12 hours a day during the first week. My scan is on Monday and had been managing not to think too much about it till today when heard one of my best friends is pregnant and at exactly the same stage as me, she got her blood results this morning. I am over the moon for them as theyve taken a long time to conceive but it has sent me over the edge, I became almost hysterical and am finding it hard to stop crying. I think part of the reason is that our baby that had T18, my best friend was due exactly the same day I would have been, and it has been hard, the whole pregnancy was a reminder of what I should have been going through and every time I see her little boy I always always think about what might have been, I just don't think I'll be able to cope if the same thing happens again. I don't know whether that makes any sense? I've just convinced myself that it's history repeating itself and I'm going to be tortured again. Just feel like I'm loosing the plot, maybe I was just keeping a lid on things up to now and it just took something small to make me realise I haven't really been coping, I've just been kidding myself that I have. Stil now sure how I'm going to get through Monday without some hysterics and tears, but I will let you all know what happens.

Mrsbigz- thinking of you, my son was born at 33 weeks and I can only begin to imagine how hard the added worry of the CCAM on top is. It sounds like your consultant is on top of things with the steroid shots and progesterone and I hope your little ones stays inside for a bit longer.

Katiecubs- hope you have a fantastic wedding next week, a very magical time of year to get married, it's my wedding anniversary tomorrow :-)

Love to everyone x

Of course it makes sense love, i was in a very similar situation. One of my best friends told me she was pregnant a few days after my termination and i just burst into tears. It was so hard at the time but the funny thing is that i got pregnant again pretty quickly and now we have boys a few months apart who are the best of friends. It's a funny old thing fate.

Please come on and let us know how it goes tomorrow, i know it will be hard but you can do it. And have a very happy Anniversary, i'm sure it will be

Just to let you know I'm thinking of you today, HelenLouisey...

Hope all is well, it seems its been quiet here for a while. I've been so busy and stressed Ive had no time to catch up. We're finally back in our house and not a moment too soon! But it's far from organised. They took everything out and brought it all back in boxes and so we are still ploughing through everything trying desperately to get organised in time for xmas but its not easy with a new baby and a DD whose behaviour has been extremely difficult to manage lately. Plus various household things were written off so we are having to replace loads of items and assemble furniture etc. Too much to do! its all been so stressful. Living with in laws has taken its toll with everyone feeling the strain in the end.

Ive also felt rubbish since the birth - I have diastasis recti and a really bad back which prevents me from walking too much. Also have a slight prolapse (Mrs Bigz - any advice?) which Ive been really upset about. Dr says its common and shouldnt cause any problems, should improve with pelvic floor exercises but I just dont feel right. She thinks all the stress Ive been under has made everything seem worse and so Im just hoping now we are back home I can start sorting myself out. Am starting a post natal pilates class soon so hoping that'll help.

I said to my mum that at the moment the least stressful thing to deal with was the baby. Its true, he's a delight and is what has kept me from going under I think. He's putting on weight and seems content so thats great. Not sleeping long though unless in our bed which is fine as its easier to feed etc but I do worry a bit about creating a rod etc.

Anyway enough about me! Katie - good luck for your wedding day. Hope its perfect for you and you have the time of your life.

MrsBigz - I'm sorry you have so much to deal with. It really sucks. You seem as though you cope remarkably well with whats been thrown at you. I really hope you have nothing more to deal with and your baby stays put for a good bit longer yet. Am glad about he placenta moving, at least you dont have to worry about that anymore.

Ghislaine - hope your pregnancy is going well - how far are you now?

Helenlouisey - I hope todays scan has gone well - let us know. It would be great if you can move forward a bit more relaxed. Its very hard but step by step...

Hi to everyone else - is everyone looking forward to Xmas? We've been so busy that there has been no time to even think about it so I dont know how on earth I'm going to be ready. Have been doing bits of online shopping when up at 4am feeding the baby!

Hi ladies, just wanted to drop you quick update, have just got home and getting dinner ready. Thank goodness we had a good scan at FMC today and everything came back very low risk so we've decided not to have any further testing as the risk of miscarriage was just too big a risk for us to take.

I didn't end up watching the scan, I closed my eyes and turned my face away, and I managed not to cry and get hysterical till they told me everything looked good, and when she went to get the blood results I then started crying and shaking.

Am glad today is over and we've passed the first hurdle, although still some way to go and am already worrying about the 20 week scan, will try and enjoy Xmas first!

Thanks for all your advise and support, it really has been a long 2 years since the termination, but really praying and hoping things work out this time

X x x

Fantastic news HL - really happy for you. xx

Wonderful news HL, have been thinking of you. I hope the next 8 weeks are so pass quickly for you.

One step at a time, well done, you've made it this far xxx

hi helenlouisey good news on the scan. cherrybug you sound like you are in a similar place to where i was after ds. I had grade 1 cystocele and rectocele prolapses. It felt awful all the time, I really had to re learn how to use my body particularly going ot the loo, it always felt wrong. I did loads of exercises and it was only when i stopped breastfeeding that I felt a little better. I still have it and things are again a bit weird but I feel so much better this time and it must just be my frame of mind. I found it really helped just to go to bed early and things did feel better in the morning.

you have a lot going on at the moment. what is dd doing? my ds aged 3 is doing a lot of hassling to kiss the baby (usually with an elbow in the tummy) climbing on me when I'm feeding, not eating lunch, moaning about a lot of stuff. it's getting a bit better now, I feel really sorry for him and I find it is easier when I don't rush him and take things at his pace. Sometimes when i want to shout at him I try to hug him instead, it's really sad - he steals a hug when I'm helping him off the loo :( i think he just feels a bit left out and is processing the change to his life.

sacha has slept for 6 hours in a row 3 nights now , I think we are turning that corner. Obviously he wont do it tonight now I've crowed about it...

Great news Helenlouisey, was wondering how you had gotten on today. I don't think you will ever stop worrying but well done on getting through it and onwards and upwards to the next stage.

Good to hear you are back in your own place cherrybug. When you are online shopping at 4am is the insurance company footing the bill?

Manitz, it sounds like Einstein Sacha is coming on in leaps and bounds. I have been reading a lot about what to expect once the baby is here and the common theme seems to be one of exhaustion. Most of my reading and purchases revolve around helping the baby to sleep.

I saw the obstetrician today to book my ELCS so I have only 4 weeks and change to go - I think I might be the first of 2012 unless anyone sneaks in ahead of me. I am getting quite stressed about my parents turning up, they have already announced their visiting schedule and it appears (from their emails and past experience with my sister) that their version of 'helping' involves holding the baby all day long while I run round after them. I have already had words that actually I am going to look after MY baby and they can run round after ME but I'm not so sure that they will listen when they actually are here. Oh blimey.

Oops - sorry mrsbigz, didn't mean to leave you out. You do sound remarkably composed. I would be tearing my hair out and have no nails left if it were me. I do hope the progesterone is doing its stuff.

And hooray for our blushing brides, Natz and Katiecubs. You are both going to look stunning.

Hey ladies. Just popped on to wish Katie a wonderful wedding day on Friday.

And Natz? When is your wedding? I must've missed that.

Helenlouisey please to read the good news of your scan.

MrsBigz, you poor thing. How stressful. I really hope that the progesterone helps. I have been prescribed progesterone pessaries for when (if) I get pregnant. There is much discussion over on the other thread I'm on about whether to use the "visitors' or the tradesmen's entrance" for this purpose. Apparently the rear entry is less messy FYI

Cherry, glad to hear you're back at home. Not fun living out of boxes but at least you can start to get settled.

Things pretty hard my end. Mum's not doing well. She's back in hospital with another infection as well as shingles and is also in agony with pain in her back and legs. Makes me so sad. I was supposed to go over a few weeks ago but got a tummy bug so ended up waiting for my Christmas visit. I'll be going over on 21st. I'm about to start on fertility tests, privately as I am knocking on a bit and want to get things checked out asap. Seems horribly ironic considering I was only moaning on last year about how frustrating it was to be told by everyone I was lucky because I fell pregnant so easily. I didn't feel lucky then after loosing 6 pregnancies. Now I feel considerably less so. Various other upsetting stuff going on too. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed with it all at the moment. I'm used to ending the year saying "Well, that was a pretty shit year. Roll on next year." but next year is going to be an excruciatingly painful one emotionally. It would be nice if I could just end it with a baby, or at last a very real prospect of one, just to tip the balance a little.

Can I just remind you all that we are 100 posts off the end of the thread so you need to rustle up your list of thread babies for next thread's header!

I think if we don't have names or dates maybe just put the poster's name? There have been a few, like CatLady etc. If there's anyone more on the ball than me that fancy having a think on that it would be great. My brain has no capacity left, it's all full of headfuck at the moment!

Hello to all my early thread buddies. I hope you're all well and looking forward to Christmas with your little ones. I was thinking of you all recently as it's a year since we all met up.