Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Mishtabel - I must admit i've never posted anywhere else on MN apart from this thread!!!! But i think even if you changed your name, as you said your profile would still show up? not sure.

quick vent from me again - EEEEEK. I thought i was doing SO well over the weekend being really positive and just thinking that it would all be fine, but now, with the scan looming tomorrow morning i'm a complete bag of nerves. doesn't help that this is exactly the same pattern that we followed with Eve back in March; dodgy scan - prenatal diagnostics - scary news - referral to the JR in Oxford.....god we're even going to exactly the same place to have this scan tomorrow. it's kind of like history repeating itself only with a different scare. i have been really good (well, mostly) and stayed away from Dr Google but i have of course done a little reasearch just to find out exactly what it is and what it could mean, but that's as far as i've gone! just hope it is mild whatever it is and manageable/treatable. so much for a stressfree pregnancy once i'd reached the halfway point!!!?

Oh - and on a happy/positive note, i found out yesterday that my brother and SIL our pregnant with their first.....after 4+ years TTC and 1 failed IVF. they were just about to start IVF #2 and at a routine scan they saw a gestational sac - so the pregnancy is a natural one. they are now 14wks, and still can't believe it - and i'm beyond happy for them both :)

Hi everyone, sorry I've been a bit AWOL - new baby exhaustion here, manitz I am feeling your pain. Eliot is very windy too, trapped wind I think that keeps him up quite a bit and has him in pain at other times too - it's exhausting as you all know, especially with other LOs to look after. Having said that he had the best night since he was born last night (went from 11-4.30, asleep again after a feed by 5.10 then slept till 7.15) so I feel a bit more human today. Good thing too what with back to school today.

I know I've missed loads and as usual don't have time to reply to everyone. Cherry, so sorry about the house and having to stay with the in-laws (I don't think I could do it without killing mine personally). If you can, try and focus on the fact that the grandparents may even be useful once the new baby is here... even if they do spoil your DD, it won't matter as someone said earlier. Sorry too about the OC - yet another worry. How long have you got to go now? Can't be too long.

And of course to Mrsbigz, good luck for your scan tomorrow. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this extra worry. I remember so well the feeling - when I had my 20 week scan, they couldn't see the bladder the first time so I had to go back for a rescan, when everything was fine. I hope and believe that the same will happen to you. I think I said before to someone else that so many of us have "scares" in subsequent pregnancies that I really believe the hospitals are being extra vigilant with us because of what has happened in the past and therefore they seem to find things. I know Eavers had a similar experience and all was fine.

Better go, love to everyone else x

MrsBigz - so sorry to hear you have this extra worry and I really hope that tomorrow brings you good news. There have been lots of scares along the way on this thread and it's turned out ok so hopefully exactly the same for you. Fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

Thanks to all for kind thoughts. Manitz thats reassuring about the bonding and the behaviour at in laws and hopefully once we get back home things will settle right down again. Hope the scar starts to heal well for you too - have you tried a bellybandit thing - I dont know much about them but heard they help with CS healing.

Mishtabel - thanks, yes my mantra is that this isn't forever and before we know it we will be back home again. Once the baby is here I guess the days/nights will go by in a bit of a sleep deprived blur anyway! Re posting elsewhere, I've posted a bit in pregnancy and childbirth, oh and in potty training and in the doghouse (problem with neighbours dog!) but never AIBU or chat. No idea about namechanging but I dont have profile set up anyway so I guess for me it wouldnt matter. AIBU scares me a bit though!

Grandj - yes I guess the grandparents might be a bit of extra help once baby is here but I do worry that it will interfere with our 'family time'. But we just have to get on with things and hope for the best. Sorry to hear you've not been getting much sleep - I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights! Hope both Elliot and Sasha's sore tums settle down soon.

So, tomorrow I go into the hospital at 5pm for induction. I'm really scared! I should be braver than this, particularly as I was induced with DD and it went ok but the thought of labouring on my own all night (DP will be sent away at the end of visiting hours) in the hospital where Leila was born and all the emotions that go with that is tough. Best case scenario is that they'll be able to break waters on arrival and it'll be quick without any drama. I doubt it though, much more likely to have to endure the prostaglandin pessary and a night of early labour on my own. I'd be grateful if you could all think speedy thoughts for me anyway! Will update when I can.

Love to everyone else!

What an important day for our thread tomorrow. I'll keep my fingers crossed for both mrsbigz and Cherry. Mrsbigz, so sorry you now have this additional worry, as Cherry said there have been lots of scares in here but it all ended well, and they are extra careful when dealing with pregnancies after loss. I remember being a wreck in the run up to my anomaly scan, then going to the same FMU and waiting on the same sofa. But I was lucky coming out with a clean bill of health for the baby and to be honest I have no idea how I would have coped with more uncertainty. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and keeping everything crossed.

Cherry, good luck for tomorrow, I wish you a very very very speedy labour! I can't believe they won't allow your DH to spend the night with you, can't you kick up a fuss? I'm usually very quiet and polite, but it makes me angry that sometimes a pregnant/labouring woman's mental state is not taken into account. You are very brave, no doubt about it, but with a history such as ours we are all more anxious and more vulnerable. I have a bee in my bonnet about this as I am very angry about how my own labour was dealt with, but this is a different story. You do sound very in control though, and very resilient, and I'm looking forward to your birth announcement!

Katie, poor little Felix, I hope his hearing is back to normal now?

Mishtabel, I don't think IABU no matter what. If you want to make sure your profile won't show, I would suggest creating a different account from scratch, with a new email address.

As for us, all is well, Coffeebean is now crawling very fast and has just started pulling himself up to standing, so baby-proofing has taken a whole new dimension :) He'll start with a childminder in January and I dread it, she seems very nice but I wish I didn't have to go back to work. I'm afraid I'll miss so much... no choice though so I'm just telling myself he'll enjoy it once he's settled, he is very sociable and a smiler.

No chance to mention everyone in a single post, long though it may be, but thinking of you all and especially of mrsbigz and Cherry tomorrow! xxxx

CHERRY!!! tried to post last night but was on my phone and it wasn't playing ball! just wanted to say will be thinking of you at 5pm and hoping baby makes a rapid appearance for you this evening. i second coffee and would also be 'insisting' that my hubby be allowed to stay with me while i labour - that's absurd that he has to go back home??

afm - back from scan and not the greatest news, but also not the worst. LOVELY consultant at the JR confirmed during the scan that our baby has CCAM. It is 'manageable' as not putting pressure on the his other organs, particularly his heart (which was working perfectly fine as confirmed after that during a cardio scan). Other than the CCAM all the his other measurements were looking very good for the gestation - all within normal range. the consultant said he wasn't concerned by what he had seen. OH - and i've also been diagnosed with placenta previa. was a bit annoyed as at my scan on friday i asked about it (as i knew my placenta was anterior) and they said it was fine....unless its moved dramatically in the past few days. Anyway - that's a possible future concern - and may mean a c-section :( if it hasn't righted itself.
Plan going forward - he is going to refer me to the FMU at the JR in Oxford to be seen in about a month to discuss whether i will be having the baby in Oxford or Northampton - all depends on the CCAM and whether it has grown (or will need an operation after he is born) and also the PPrevia, and whether that has moved at all. All in all quite an emotional day, particularly the cardio scan which was in the same room and the same woman who scanned me with Eve.

so for now it's not the worst news anyway - so please just keep your fingers crossed that everything rights itself xxxxx

Oh mrsbigz, what a day you've had! While it's not the best of news, it doesn't seem like they are massively concerned. Also good news that no other organs are affected and the heart is fine, and the doctors say it is manageable. What an anxious time for you though, and certainly not what you needed. I am keeping everything crossed that the CCAM disappears before your next scan and that the weeks will fly by.

Cherry, I am waving my labour pom-poms again and hope that baby Cherry will make a speedy appearance. xxxx

Just wanted to add my support for Cherry

And to MrsB, what a day, but so glad that you're taking the glass half full approach, as was said, the consultants don't seem to be concerned, so it's all v positive. Here's hoping that pesky placenta shifts out of the way

27 weeks today for me,

Longest. Pregnancy. Ever.

BK x

hi not been about much for obvious reasons so grabbing a moment. Mrsbigz this is not what you need but what a relief that the condition babybigz has seems the managable type I also have no idea what CCAM is but I imagine you are quickly becoming an expert on it. I am really sorry you are having this extra worry but it sounds like you are being well looked after. take care.

Hope cherry is out or at least babycherry is.

sacha has become better at night and feeds twice really. Mishtabel, half term is school holidays just a week off halfway throgh the term, they are back at school now but I can't stop myself from doing stuff so i never nap in the day but am trying to go to bed early which is helping. He's still a windy farty sort of thing and I feel really sorry for him as it seems pretty painful but I couldn't care less about being up or being tired as it is whizzing by so fast - he's five weeks already and I'm beginning to think maybe just one more... dh better get it that op soon...

actually bezzy has it summed up for me, it is no fun being pregnant knowing what can go wrong I know I'm well out of it.

also never namechanged so I'm afraid I don't know anything about that, you don't really need it in the dull and factual places I post like education and legal aibu is just not for me though i like a peek.

oh i forgot to say he's piling on the weight - an oz a day which is unheard of for my kids. ginormous cheeks. scar still 'gaping' at one side but no longer oozing puss. nice. will check out that belly bandit and see if it's any use. mw suggested i change my diet apparently chocolate, pate and mouldy cheese might not be conducive to healing.

i hope mrs big it all goes well, hope everyone is well, i'm now 30 weeks and had my 30th birthday last week, baby is still transverse, 10 weeks to go, growth scan in 4 weeks

thanks ladies i really appreciate the support. right now i'm not sure whether to be more worried about the CCAM, the placenta, the prolapse or the possible pre-term labour (which i'm also high risk for!!!) - aaargh!!! as long as babybigz comes out kicking and screaming i don't care how he gets here x

Goodness Mrsbigz what a list! It's great that the consultants are so positive though, fingers crossed for you that the placenta moves and the CCAM stays manageable. And fingers crossed too for Cherry, hope babycherry is already with us... x

Hello everyone. Just out of hospital today with our new wee man! Kade, born 2nd nov, 8lb 6oz, handsome and healthy! We are just delighted and have totally fallen in love with him. Very emotional first day with some renewed grief for our loss of Leila but such gratitude for him. Our world is now brighter! Induction wasn't fun but thankfully straightforward and didn't require any other intervention.

MrsBigz, glad to hear that things sound positive for your little one. Hope you're managing to stay calm and well. Lots of love to you.

Hope everyone else is well, bumps blooming & babies thriving. X

congrats Cherry, you sound so settled and content, enjoy the early days xxx

Cherry!!! So good to hear from you and huge congratulations on the safe arrival of Kade - you sound so happy! Enjoy every single moment (although of course i know you will :) )

Congratulations Cherry! Have been thinking of you and glad it all went so well. Lovely name. Good size too. Another one to add to our encouragement list :)

MrsBigz, wow, so much for a care-free pregnancy for you! Glad 'they' don't seem too concerned re: the CCAM, though. Can only hope time passes quickly for you.

Also hoping time flies for you Bezz. Hopefully with Christmas coming up, it will help. Minibez would be just at the perfect age to get all excited now wouldn't she?

Gillian, on the downhill run now. Hoping baby turns for you soon. Happy 30th (ahh to be so young...)

Lovely to get updates on the new little ones, and the not-so-new littlies. Feel for you Coffee with going back to work looming large in your mind, though I'm sure it'll all be fine. Hope Cant is coping ok with it all (Hi Cant, in case you're lurking with no time to post)

Don't think I'll be posting anywhere else ATM as.1) Wouldn't change things anyway 2) it's not that important in the grand scheme of things and 3) DH is really looking forward to what I was going to whinge about, so, as he's hardly ever home, I figure I'm happy to zip my lip if it means so much to him.
Don't think I would've posted I AIBU anyway as although it's funny sometimes, some people there are more interested in being arsey/contrary than actually offering constructive advice.

Speaking of encouragement list, I've added mine. Would add Lins and Shangrila too but not 100% positive that Lins and I had ours on the same day, and would have to go back and check on both her and Shangrila's dates (which I will do one day if they don't come along themselves soon)

Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11

Enjoy your weekend xxx

Congratulations Cherry! Wonderful news, hope you are resting and getting some good family time in xx

MerBigz, sorry the scan didn't give you the all clear, but good that the consultants aren't too concerned. Here's hoping that the CCAM has reduced by the next scan. xx

Gillian, happy belated birthday, 10 week count down is on, best of luck to you xx

Katie, hope Felix is feeling better now? Sienna has failed all 3 of her newborn hearing screens, so we are now waiting for a diagnostic test from Audiology. She responds to sounds and is jumpy when her sisters are running roit around the house, so I am guessing she has fluid in her ears... Not panicking, I used to be a newborn hearing screener so know how sensative it is.

Sorry for lack of personals, am trying to post before the bigger girls attempt to lift Sienna out of her swing chair again. Sienna will be 6 weeks on Monday and is piling on the weight, even giving me a couple of 8 hour sleeps every now and then!!! Lovely

Life is pretty hectic, wedding plans coming along lovely. Got my dress yesterday, so now have to burn the baby pounds off.

Hello to Kittens, I hope you are ok? Thinking of you and your family and sending you all strength xx

Hello to eveyone else and will try to catch up properly soon xx

ladies, thank you for all your kind messages re: babybigz. while it's not the stress-free pregnancy that i was hoping for, it is certainly not the end of the world by any means - everything that has been thrown at us so far is manageable / treatable so while i'm possible a little more nervy that i would have liked at this stage, i'm still thanking my lucky stars that i'm pregnant and am determined to do my utmost to enjoy the homeward run (however long it may be!!)
Have an appointment with my own consultant tomorrow, so will be asking lots of questions (that i forgot to ask in Oxford due to the initial shock!) and will let you all know how i get on.
Hope you've all had an enjoyable Bonfire Night weekend....it was my hubbys 40th yesterday so have spent the weekend 'treating' him (and consoling him LOL) and had a nice family get together today xxxx

Congratulations Cherry!

Glad to hear things are looking more positive for you mrsbigz. The last couple of weeks must've been pretty overwhelming for you.

Bezzy, good to hear from you. I'm so pleased that all is going well.

Natz, thanks for the message. Things are not great all round really. I'm worried sick, frightened and sad most of the time. Mum has had a bad few days. Hoping things will get better before they get worse but I just don't know. My granny, who is 91 and has her own health issues including dementia is struggling with the fact that she is not physically or mentally able to go over to France and be with her daughter. My dad and step sister are going through a terrible time too after the death of my step mum, and I am just about to embark on TTC again. I feel like a lot of the last 5 years have been a bad dream one way or another, except it's all horribly real.

So lovely to hear from you Kittens, I do keep popping by to see if you've posted.

Saddened to read that life is proving so challenging for you. You really have had to deal with far too much. Not fair.

Wishing you strength in the coming weeks / months xxxx

Kittens, just want you to know my thoughts are with you and your family. Such a hard time for you all. Agree with Bezz - it's just unfair. I hope you know you can come and rant here any time if you feel like it. You've always been there for us, and we'll be here for you. Love to you and yours xx

Thanks for your thoughts lovely ladies . I just have to keep soldiering on....

Hi all - tried to post the other day but having internet problems and it didn't appear. So a bit belated now but...

Cherry - congratulations, what brilliant, brilliant news! So happy for you, lovely name and enjoy the euphoria and relief. I remember you posting when you got your bfp, now your baby is here at last xx

And Kittens, I'm so sorry about all the stuff that life seems to be throwing at you. Poor you and also your family. I hope you are coping ok, all my fingers crossed for the TTC as well.

Sorry for lack of other personals. Never seem to have a minute to myself (that'll be the new baby!)

x

Just popped in to say 'hi' - in the throes of moving house (to one with bedrooms, finally!) so I've not been on Mumsnet much lately.

Kittens, as others have said, sometimes life can seem so unfair; all you can do is get through it, do as much as you can to be with the ones who need you and whom you love, without it becoming too overwhelming. It is horrible to watch the people you love suffer and struggle. 'Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars'.

MrsBigz, sounds like you are also a strong soul - you are amazingly calm in your posts, despite all the potential issues that you mention. I hope all goes well and that you have a great team around you, both at home and in your hospital.

Natz, I hope Sienna's hearing is OK. Manitz, hope your scar is healing up and that Sacha is less windy - do you do the bicycling legs? Used to work well with DS from what I remember... ditto for Eliot, Grandj; hope you are settling down and enjoying your larger families.

I can't believe Coffeebean is crawling/standing - seems like no time at all from when he was born! I found going back to work was worse in anticipation and all right once I got there.

Belated happy birthday to Gillian (also at being 30!) and I wish you and Bezzy many uneventful and peaceful weeks ahead until your big days.

Finally, congratulations Cherry! Hope you are enjoying your first days with Kade even if it's not as you hoped in your own home. I hope DD is being a good big sis!

Better go... love to any old-time lurkers out there, Mishtabel, Cant, Poot...

Hello all sorry to be absent for so long soooooo busy - wedding is 4 weeks today eek!

All good here, Natz/Coffee Felix is finally better hurrah! 4th course of anti b's did the trick. Seems all the previous swabs they did at the hospital/doctors got filed in the bin add that to all the doctors saying it would heal on it's own and we had a horrible 2 months of a very sad Felix and not much sleep. He is back to his extremely happy self now. A PROPER handfull though, he is such a boy and literally won't sit still for a single minute, he wants to smash, grab, run and throw! Really hope the hearing softs itself out for little Sienna Natz - sure, as you say, it's nothing to worry about though.

Cheery huge congratulations of the safe arrival of Kade - hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!

Mrs bigz, how did your appointment go? Really sorry you are having all this extra stress but glad you are getting such good care. It must help.

Mistabel - hi!! Teenage years, cripes! Hope all is a bit smoother now. i have no idea re. name changing sorry i have never done it?|!?!

Bezzy - hello love. How many weeks are you now and how are you, Captain C and Mini Bez getting along?

Kitten - last but certainly not least i am sending all my love to you and your family. Tough, crappy times and like everyone else has said it's so totally unfair. Please offload here whenever you need. I will keep everything crossed with the TTC too.

Much love to everyone else and sorry if i have missed anything mwah xxxx