Trigger warning- title edited by MNHQ: Overwhelmed and upset no one to talk to in real life

So sorry things have been so hard op. 15 years ago my life was tough. It is a positive thing that you have had therapy. I didn't and am aware things fester. .. Mn gets flack but there are supportive people on here so very glad you have made contact!

I'm so sorry to read this, couldn't not comment but it sounds to me like you are already a very strong person to cope with all you have had to cope with in your life and im thinking of you (i realise that's no help at all though, I'm pretty useless)

That is so much to get through. It's really sd you have no one to talk to in real life.

It sounds like you are going through a particular down time and need a break to re-energise yourself.

Is this an option for you?

Try and focus on the positive things you've achieved in the last 12 years. I know that easier said than done but maybe listing some here will help?

Are you on any medication? Do you have a diagnosis? Maybe you need to contact your MH support and tell them you are in a crisis?

I'm so sorry, you've been through a lot. It's amazing that you are still standing.

Sending you a gentle, protective hug and a huge dose of positivity/hope. May light flood your soul today.

You are strong beyond belief to have coped with all that.

May you feel your baby’s love, too. Let the love you gave with every cell in your body, flow through you and back to him or her.

May peace find you, at least for a moment.

Keep talking here for as long as it takes for the urge to go away.

Ah that's hard. Keep talking to us here if it helps.

Do you want to talk about the situation or about something else to distract you? My friend has PTSD and I used to talk to her while she was having a panic attack and she said it really helped. I used to waffle on about all sorts.

If things get bad you could call Samaritans on 116 123. It can get a bit quiet in the small hours.

Hopefully when it kicks in you will feel a bit better.

Would you like to share something positive about your baby with us?

I wish I knew you so that I could make you a pot of tea and let you say whatever you need too say for however long you need.

If you want to chat about random things...

I bought a huge murano glass fish today from the charity shop! It’s quite something in that 60s/70s retro way. I’m going start a collection and create an ‘underwater’ display.

Also my coping mechanism is big piles of toast slathered in huge amounts of butter. I’ve really needed it over the past week, and have been very close on many occasions, but so far I’ve managed to resist!

We’re working our way through all the Roger Moore James Bond films atm. He’s my favourite Bond by a long way.

(Showing my age there )

DH is like that - he can’t eat at all if he’s stressed/angry/not feeling right in some way. I can always eat.

We don’t get to pick our family, sadly.

The cards are dealt and the only thing we can do is decide how to play our hand/when to walk away.

Which brings me to a great song about life:

The Gambler, by Kenny Rogers.

Wow that’s a lot for one person to handle! You must be an absolute warrior! You are stronger than you think and I’m sure others look at your strength and determination in awe. Even though things may feel shit, you must be impressed with how far you have come…you are the definition of what I would call a rock!

I hope things get better for you and you feel better too.

OP you have done so well to get through those experiences. You must be a very strong person and people you interact with say you are kind. Passing on kindness through the world is a powerful thing and can brighten many lives. Sending you positive vibes through the internet! 🌺🌻🌼🌷

Johnny Cash is fantastic.

I’ll listen with you if you like?

You've had a really tough time, I'm so sorry for your losses. Please be gentle with yourself.

It's ok to let the ball drop, we all do, but especially under your circumstances. Can you take a few weeks off work and try to do something you enjoy?

It's ok to sit with your feelings, they will get easier ❤️

I know in moments like this you don't feel strong, but you are. Sometimes strength just comes from finding it possible to make it through the day. The hardest thing to do is to reach out for help, whether that's services or strangers on the internet, and here you are.
There's samararitin or mind if you need a more human approach, not sure of any advice they'd give but it's a voice to speak to.
Is there anything we could do to help? Writing down your thoughts for acknowledgement? Distracting you with something unrelated?
I hope this thread shows you, there are caring people out there.

Johnny Cash is so wonderful. I know right now probably isn’t the time, but could you think about finding another choir?
you’ve been through so much my dear, I’m sure things will improve for you soon. It does sound like you have managed to get back up again, and you are still looking for helpful coping mechanisms, not falling for the quick fix. I’m in awe of your strength.

Thats a lot for one person to deal with, I'm sorry that you have had to go through it all.
The Headspace app is really helpful, I hope it is giving you a bit of a break from your thoughts.
I honestly don't know what else to say but wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts...