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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trigger warning- title edited by MNHQ: Overwhelmed and upset no one to talk to in real life

169 replies

Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 02/03/2023 13:41

This week 12yrs ago tried to kill myself nearly successful.

In that year I was gang raped, left for dead

Family member died around my birthday suddenly

Friend died suddenly. But no one told me until I went to visit them

Got made homeless

Lots of shit in bewteen

This time last year my baby died in my arms

Also my family cut contact with me.

I'm trying to concentrate. Trying to work and failing at everything.
I just want to hide and crawl in a hole.
I'm receiving therapy but the cost has nearly doubled and I don't think I can afford it for much longer.
It's just feels very dark atm.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 21/04/2023 21:22

Will try and look at those links. My feet are blistered through walking but I haven't drunk anything

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 22/04/2023 01:28

I am sure the walking isn’t easy right now, OP. But treating your body well after a blip was a fabulous thing to do. Really happy you managed that. Maybe another short walk on the next decent day? Don’t stress though! And I hope you find some decent television. I’m travelling (and the TV is truly crap here) so I don’t even know what’s on.

Hugs

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 26/04/2023 15:02

Hi all. Recovering slowly. Lied about having someone at home as I didn't want to stay in the hospital. 😔

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 26/04/2023 15:10

Hi, OP —

I was just thinking of you. So glad this part of your ordeal is over. How are you feeling?

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 26/04/2023 15:13

Dazed. Very cold. Huddled up under the covers

OP posts:
LowFlyingDucks · 26/04/2023 15:39

Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 26/04/2023 15:13

Dazed. Very cold. Huddled up under the covers

Make sure you eat and drink.

Play some comforting music. I find Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” can stabilise me.

poetryandwine · 26/04/2023 20:06

Something hot, OP. Can you manage that?

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 26/04/2023 20:46

Just had a very small bowl of cereal. Didn't really enjoy it. It hurts sit down properly so I can't do any of those yoga links

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 26/04/2023 20:58

Sorry about the pain, OP. The cereal was really good. Can you sleep for a bit now ?

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 26/04/2023 21:10

I've took my meds. I've been having such bad sleep terrors and paralysis though. So if anyone has any helpful tips on how to combat those please 🙏 tell me.

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 26/04/2023 21:40

Sorry I don’t know about this, OP. It sounds awful. Hugs and best wishes

poetryandwine · 26/04/2023 21:42

Are you in the UK? If so do you have the stamina to ring 111 and ask their advice?

LaMaG · 27/04/2023 08:41

Let us know how you are today OP xx

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 27/04/2023 10:02

Morning finally passed out around 3am. Doing some doom scrolling on FB and Mumsnet. Slightly less pain today thank fuck!

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 27/04/2023 20:38

Finally went out to get some milk very slowly and a delivery guy on a bike gets hits by a van. The van driver drove off!! I had to do check and do CPR on the guy and call and ambulance. I'm in so much pain now with all the moving. I'm not complaining about the delivery dude I acted on instinct but fuck it hurts after surgery.

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 28/04/2023 00:16

Wow. Awful for you, truly. And I hesitate to say this, because I don’t want to lose you, but: sitting side by side with that pain is the fact that you probably saved someone’s life. Just about the most important thing anyone can do. Very few of us can say the same. I sure can’t. I have done some good science but it doesn’t compare at all.

Are you able to feel pride in yourself? Because you deserve to!!

Zebracat · 28/04/2023 11:22

Wow. So good that you were there. I’m sure it really hurt though. Well done.

SparklingLime · 29/04/2023 08:37

You're a freaking superhero, @Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover! Giving CPR so soon after surgery ✊ I hope you are recovering and resting up.

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 30/04/2023 09:55

Morning been recovering so haven't been looking on Mumsnet. Ive been getting migraines so screens weren't a good option. Aching but feeling better. Just wondering about what to do work wise. Bills to pay, but I'm feeling fragile

OP posts:
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