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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trigger warning- title edited by MNHQ: Overwhelmed and upset no one to talk to in real life

169 replies

Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 02/03/2023 13:41

This week 12yrs ago tried to kill myself nearly successful.

In that year I was gang raped, left for dead

Family member died around my birthday suddenly

Friend died suddenly. But no one told me until I went to visit them

Got made homeless

Lots of shit in bewteen

This time last year my baby died in my arms

Also my family cut contact with me.

I'm trying to concentrate. Trying to work and failing at everything.
I just want to hide and crawl in a hole.
I'm receiving therapy but the cost has nearly doubled and I don't think I can afford it for much longer.
It's just feels very dark atm.

OP posts:
SparklingLime · 16/04/2023 13:00

Glad you found something decent to watch. Well done on the sobriety. 🌷

poetryandwine · 16/04/2023 14:03

I really like Penelope Cruz. Tom Cruise is weird, but he can act pretty well, huh?

I’m also glad you found something decent to watch and impressed by your sobriety. Hang in there. What are you doing today, OP?

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 16/04/2023 14:08

I'm currently trying to load the dishwasher my side is on fire though. Looking at some free aduobooks to listen to. Trying to distract myself from drinking it's really hard. If I was in less pain I would walk or go to the gym

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 16/04/2023 14:22

Oh, wow. Do you know when you will get a surgery date? I am signing off MN for now but thinking of you xx

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 16/04/2023 14:23

Next week. Have a good day thanks for your kind words

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 16/04/2023 20:12

Okay, it could be better but the end is in sight. I hope there will be lots of good films on television.

While you are waiting seems like the time for eating your favourite foods. I know you’re in pain but eating will give you some strength if you can manage something. Do any foods appeal to you? I would just be going for my favourites, nutrition be damned. Take care xx

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 16/04/2023 20:15

I got to admit I have no appetite like my stomach has switched off 😔.

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 16/04/2023 20:25

It would surely help if you could eat a little something. Now I feel like your mum, sorry about that!

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 16/04/2023 20:34

No my mum never fed me. So you definitely do not sound like her!!!

OP posts:
SparklingLime · 16/04/2023 22:13

Hugs, OP Flowers

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 20/04/2023 11:36

Had a blip broke my sobriety. 😔. Feel so ashamed

OP posts:
LowFlyingDucks · 20/04/2023 11:56

Heey be kind to yourself. No need for shame. Pamper and soothe yourself.

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 20/04/2023 12:12

Just curled up in bed atm crying 😭.

OP posts:
LowFlyingDucks · 20/04/2023 12:15

That’s okay. Have a good cry. Let it all out. Then get yourself a drink of water - maybe painkillers if you have a headache.

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 20/04/2023 12:52

Yes I'm drinking water. Just feeling very sorry for myself 😶

OP posts:
LaMaG · 20/04/2023 17:34

How are you now OP? Do you feel a little lighter after a good cry?

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 20/04/2023 19:39

I couldn't even cry properly like my body was in some sort of weird shock.

OP posts:
LowFlyingDucks · 20/04/2023 19:43

Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 20/04/2023 19:39

I couldn't even cry properly like my body was in some sort of weird shock.

That’s understandable. You probably are in some sort of shock.

LaMaG · 20/04/2023 19:44

Thinking of you xx

LowFlyingDucks · 20/04/2023 19:45

Try giving yourself a hug and rocking.

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 20/04/2023 20:58

Thank you everyone. I'm going to try and distract myself x

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 21/04/2023 14:55

How are you today, OP?

Original poster
Fuckedupfuckoffirishrover · 21/04/2023 15:54

Hey I've been walking and walking half feel like collapsing. Just trying to get my head to shut up for a bit.

OP posts:
Xarrie · 21/04/2023 16:38

I've just seen this thread and couldn't not comment.

You've been through hell and I'm so sorry.

Sending lots of love to you. One random to another x