Page 15 | Husband left me sleeping in hot car

BlueNavy · 2023-06-18T21:38:26+00:00

We went out for lunch today. Husband drove home and I fell asleep in the passenger seat. We got home and him and the children all went inside, leaving me in the hot car parked in direct sunlight with all the windows up and doors closed. I only woke up about 15mins when my son came to look for something. I was boiling hot when I woke up and was so angry he'd left me there. We'd had an argument earlier and I almost think he did it on purpose. He says he didn't know I was asleep and thought I was just sitting in the car for a while. I'd been sleeping with my head drooping forward about 10 miles so I think it would have been obvious. He says oh i told you "we're home" and you ignored me. I was flippin' asleep! I'm upset what could have happened if I'd been there longer in that heat. There's no way I would leave a child in a hot car with windows all up so I don't see why he thinks it's OK to do it to me. AIBU? Thank you

Behindthelines · 19/06/2023 17:28

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DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 17:30

BlueNavy · 19/06/2023 17:24

Out of interest, when did you last have a shower? What we rowed about has nothing to do with this. If it was about him hitting me or me burning the dinner, does one justify what he did? The row earlier in the day was not part of this. Not an unhappy marriage no.

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Respectfully, OP, and as one of your supporters here...I do think it matters. Whatever it was won't justify what he did, but it may give an idea of just what it takes for him to decide you deserve punishment (something super minor, I'm guessing). People who care about each other don't do this and in my experience, a small genuine blip in a healthy and happy relationship doesn't usually make it to MN threads.

Comedycook · 19/06/2023 17:32

The OP spends her time bollocking her DH. Just read the thread. No wonder he intentionally left her in the car

You must be absolutely deranged if you believe in punishing your partner after a row. That's pretty creepy

Original poster

BlueNavy · 19/06/2023 17:32

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Just pointing out how irrelevant that was. As I said what the row was about had nothing to do with it. Okay.

OP posts:

Behindthelines · 19/06/2023 17:34

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Original poster

BlueNavy · 19/06/2023 17:34

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 17:30

Respectfully, OP, and as one of your supporters here...I do think it matters. Whatever it was won't justify what he did, but it may give an idea of just what it takes for him to decide you deserve punishment (something super minor, I'm guessing). People who care about each other don't do this and in my experience, a small genuine blip in a healthy and happy relationship doesn't usually make it to MN threads.

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Ah ok looking at it that way is different. I thought it meant depending whatever the row was about meant it was OK.

OP posts:

Nofreshstarthere22 · 19/06/2023 17:35

Your being very silly

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 19/06/2023 17:48

BlueNavy · 18/06/2023 23:49

No he didn't leave me for 15mins. He left me there and I woke up after 15mins extremely hot as was in direct sunlight in a hot car with no windows open, around 25 degrees. If my son hadn't come out I may have been there another hour or more.

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You are an adult, not in a vulnerable condition due to age and not on drink or drugs (?) so your body would have woken you up before you were in any danger.

He was a bit mean - but you don't need to worry even though you are an unusually sound sleeper.

Eve171 · 19/06/2023 17:58

I'm impressed your husband is able to drive, being so visually impaired that he can't see his wife is asleep next to him.

BlinkeredBay · 19/06/2023 18:06

BlueNavy · 19/06/2023 17:32

Just pointing out how irrelevant that was. As I said what the row was about had nothing to do with it. Okay.

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If the row was irrelevant, then why did you mention it?

Bizarre!

it of course is relevant.

I showered this morning FYI! I’m

TooJoy · 19/06/2023 18:18

BlueNavy · 19/06/2023 17:26

No. I wouldn't have minded either way if woken or not. What I'm annoyed about is he left me there in direct sunlight with the windows all up and the doors closed. Even if he'd parked facing the other way it wouldn't have been so hot on me.

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But if he didn’t know you were asleep then why would he open the windows for you or park the other way?

It was 15mins.

You are creating a drama over things that could have happen but that ultimately didn’t happen and I don’t understand why.

ClareBlue · 19/06/2023 18:23

All those saying no big deal. I nearly died from heatstroke asleep in the back of the car with the sun through the window onto my neck. I didn't wake up. I was woken up and was actually freezing cold.

ClareBlue · 19/06/2023 18:34

650 adults a year die from heatstroke in the UK, so no, we don't always wake up or regulate our temperature as adults. A significant number are those falling asleep in the sun which is even worse through the glass of a car. Heatstroke doesn't even make you feel hot. Clammy and cold and shivery.
It was a crap thing to do and dangerous. Those minimising it saying no big deal should maybe read up on how dangerous falling asleep in the sun through glass in a contained space actually is.

Cherchezlafemme77 · 19/06/2023 18:45

ClareBlue · 19/06/2023 18:34

650 adults a year die from heatstroke in the UK, so no, we don't always wake up or regulate our temperature as adults. A significant number are those falling asleep in the sun which is even worse through the glass of a car. Heatstroke doesn't even make you feel hot. Clammy and cold and shivery.
It was a crap thing to do and dangerous. Those minimising it saying no big deal should maybe read up on how dangerous falling asleep in the sun through glass in a contained space actually is.

... and three times that number die in car accidents. Yet the OP allowed herself AND her children to be driven in a car. Reckless and evil. Poor children.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 18:51

Cherchezlafemme77 · 19/06/2023 18:45

... and three times that number die in car accidents. Yet the OP allowed herself AND her children to be driven in a car. Reckless and evil. Poor children.

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See, it's bollocks like this, as if this person really is too dim to understand the difference between driving somewhere and deliberately putting someone in a position where there's no benefit and only discomfort and risk, out of spite. Are these guys even trying?

Cherchezlafemme77 · 19/06/2023 18:56

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 18:51

See, it's bollocks like this, as if this person really is too dim to understand the difference between driving somewhere and deliberately putting someone in a position where there's no benefit and only discomfort and risk, out of spite. Are these guys even trying?

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Unlike all those kind and lovely souls like yourself who delight in calling people arseholes, incels and MRAs for daring to question the "evil husband, wife nearly died" narrative 🤷‍♀️😊.

1983Louise · 19/06/2023 19:02

You must have either really pissed him off earlier or he's upped your life insurance policy and wanted to finish you off 😀

billy1966 · 19/06/2023 19:04

Lacucuracha · 19/06/2023 17:10

There are a lot of cold people on this thread.

Taking care of a loved one often means doing things for them whilst they are unaware.

Sometimes I’ve realised that DH has put the duvet around me in the night because I seemed cold. Or he has woken me up for work because I forgot to set my alarm.

Yes I am responsible for doing these things myself but caring for someone and getting care back should not be the cause of so much derision.

If you can’t even expect the man who promised to love you to wake you up in a hot car then what hope from anyone else.

Completely agree.

Am 30 years married and we are not a lovey dovey couple, but the longer I am on MN it has really made me rethink how we have treated each other over the years.

We have really loved, cherished, and minded each other, with a thousand different, small considerations and kindnesses for one another, on a daily basis.

I feel so blessed.

What sad little lives so many lead on here.

OP, you are not wrong to be very disappointed by his casual disregard for your safety.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 19:08

Cherchezlafemme77 · 19/06/2023 18:56

Unlike all those kind and lovely souls like yourself who delight in calling people arseholes, incels and MRAs for daring to question the "evil husband, wife nearly died" narrative 🤷‍♀️😊.

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That's really unfair. I have no delight at all in you guys being here.

Cherchezlafemme77 · 19/06/2023 19:16

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 19:08

That's really unfair. I have no delight at all in you guys being here.

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I'm not a guy, dear 🤷‍♀️😊.

TooJoy · 19/06/2023 19:18

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 18:51

See, it's bollocks like this, as if this person really is too dim to understand the difference between driving somewhere and deliberately putting someone in a position where there's no benefit and only discomfort and risk, out of spite. Are these guys even trying?

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She was asleep in the car for 15 minutes. It’s hardly the crime of the century.

OP says herself that he didn’t think she was asleep anyway.

Should he have forced a grown woman out of the car?

PuddlesPityParty · 19/06/2023 19:37

OP you just come across awfully in this thread.

Behindthelines · 19/06/2023 19:37

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Behindthelines · 19/06/2023 19:38

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DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 19:38

TooJoy · 19/06/2023 19:18

She was asleep in the car for 15 minutes. It’s hardly the crime of the century.

OP says herself that he didn’t think she was asleep anyway.

Should he have forced a grown woman out of the car?

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No, he should have gently woken her up because they were home and the car was going to get hot, so it would be deeply uncomfortable at the very least. That's what you do when you love someone, you see.

I can't figure out if you guys know that and are just sticking it in to a random woman because that's your agenda, or you truly don't understand the basics of caring for someone and want to stick it in to a random woman anyway.

Either way: parents, please love your children. This is the kind of thing that happens otherwise.