AIBU that veg should not be shared at the wedding?

For me, to have everything already on the plate is a bit school dinners. Having the vegetables separately either served or help yourself is more usual for a wedding. The fact that the guests will have to talk to one another is a positive- we had shared plates of antipasti to start for this very reason.

That said, it’s your wedding, op, and if it means a lot to you to have it all plated up first then it doesn’t seem much to ask. You may need to pay for an extra staff member.

Ask how much ch extra to have the vegetables served. If the chef doesn't want them plated in the kitchen you can still ask for the waiters to serve them (silver service). It will add to the price because of the manpower required but realistically a few man hours could sort it. Otherwise change the caterer if they aren't offering the style if service you want.

Another thing about pre plated food is that it’s not something you’d do at home so why would you want some predetermined portion at an event. It screams cheap in a way that veg you serve yourself or is served to you doesn’t

Plated is standard and that includes 5* and livery halls.

Plated does not "scream cheap"

@mastertomsmum I think it's a bit of a generalisation to say people don't pre-plate at home. I generally do, though it depends on what food I'm serving. My family/ friends generally would as well.

I’m going now, back to the world where pre plated portions stopped circa 1980.

Also, it'd be a bit awkward for the guest to share the veg like that as many of them won't know each other
They don't have to do rude things to each other with it, just share it around. I think you're overthinking it. It'll be fine.

It’s usual OP. You could ask for silver service if think your guest can’t handle
dishing out carrots, but I am sure they can,

I have never been to a wedding where the veg is pre plated but in all honesty I think I would prefer it. Hate handing bowls around.

I read a ‘panache of vegetables’ as vegetables with panache 😁

Just make sure they have extra to serve if necessary. As there will be that one person that takes most of it and one person at the table that gets left with nothing.

Eh?

so just to clarify. Your at a wedding, all dressed up in your very expensive wedding (guest) attire and your handing around a big ol bowl of veggies like you would at a bbq 🤯
my concern is if someone drops a mint and butter spud/carrot/ peas on their plate, accidentally, and the butter/condiment splatters onto your clothes leaving you looking grubby and food stained for the rest of the evening.

hope everyone’s washed their hands after going to the loo and after blowing their nose 🤢

that has too be a British thing - the random bowl of veggies. So random

** your not a bridezilla. It’s weird

Passing it around is normal.

It means only people who want veg help themselves to it. People can pick and mix.

Passing it around is a nice ice breaker at the table too.

@TheAustralian nope, it’s a thing here. Per my earlier comment, I can’t recall a pricey restaurant ($200 & up/head style) not doing this over the past 2 years here in Australia be it Sydney or Melbourne. I’ve even had it when dining alone, they bring the plate with protein and then put little bowls for you to serve veg onto your plate, even though it’s just you and feels redundant. Have also had it for weddings post Covid at high end function venues. Most people can serve veg without splattering/slipping it all over themselves and others🤣.

Quite normal.

Plus keeps the good warmer for longer.

Sounds like you've never been anywhere that does silver service.

How is a side dish that complements the food “random”? Anyone liable to dropping vegetables in such a fashion that they spattered is probably unable to get through dinner without messing their clothing regardless of whether they’re passing around a perfectly normal bowl of vegetables or not. What a strange comment.

Thinking about all wedding s ive been too but isn't a great amount most have veg in bowls including the last one, last summer.

It's not a giant vat of vegetables between 50 guests, usually it's 4 sharing at most.

I haven't been to a wedding for years but have been to many formal dinners where veg is served this way. If the veg runs out before everyone gets some we just ask the waiter/ess for more. Never been refused yet.

Trust me, your guests will thank you for the platters!

I hate veg served on my plate. We all like different veg and different amounts

If it's on the plate we either end up trying to swap (awkward at a wedding) or wasting it (which feels very wrong)
It also feels 'cheaper' to me

I see a lot of restaurants serve it separately too, including the one Dd works in (high end Italian) - for the reasons above

OP I’m really surprised at the responses! I’ve been the three weddings in the last 2 years, all in pretty nice hotels and none of them has served food in this way. All has been plated up by the chef.
I think it’s a really informal way to serve food.

The main thing I don’t understand from the OP is why it would be socially awkward to pass a dish of vegetables around with people you don’t know very well.

@bridgetreilly , this is a forum where a significant proportion of posters don’t answer a ring on their door, regard the school run as a form of torture involving ‘cliques’ and mean girls, and think the idea of making friends on holiday is unspeakably horrifying. Saying ‘pass the broccoli, please’ to a stranger might actually kill them.