AIBU that veg should not be shared at the wedding?

Can't say I've seen it at a wedding (I've been to very few weddings) but, whenever I've been to a fancy group meal it has always been served like this. Meat and things like Yorkshire's or roasties on your plate, and a big bowl of veg and jug of gravy for you and your immediate neighbours to share.

It's not my favourite thing as I'm fussy and I will only eat a few veggies and usually there aren't enough of the ones I do eat to go around, but I wouldn't find it strange or anything to remark on.

I’ve been to some weddings like this but mostly when it’s plated individually. I hate passing bowls around the table, never knowing how much to take or being the last one and being left with one tiny lonely carrot.

Have you also got the old wedding favourite, a trio of desserts? (Pavlova, wobbly lemon cheesecake, chocolate brownie?)

If each beam is best other different veg, then you need the veg on the plate.

A big help yourself pile of veg us a bit Sunday dinner, rather than what May suit chicken or steak or a nice bit of fish?

If each meal!

I’m surprised at the number of people saying this is the norm. I’ve only experienced this at one wedding. I would imagine it’s harder for the kitchen to plate the veg and the decision to do this as standard at your venue may be down to cost and space in the kitchen.

It’s far more common in my experience for the veg to be on the plates or to have silver service (which is kind of the worst of all worlds - cold by the time you get it, waiting for servers and you don’t really get to control what you get more of and less of).

Personally, I prefer veg on the table if the tables have space, but it doesn’t really matter. Food tends to be mediocre at weddings and it isn’t why you’re there.

In the kindest possible way, OP, I suggest you don’t stress about this. People are not going to be bothered about a “pop of colour” on the plates. They are going to be glad to be at your wedding. Catching up with friends. Celebrating your union. Enjoying a laugh.

Large platters of vegetables are quite normal at formal events, including weddings. But maybe you’ve never experienced a formal dinner or silver service @Fakirek ?

This. I hate it. Everyone trying to work out how many bits of cauliflower they should take. Invariably I end up taking less than my share as I get anxious about people ending up with none, only to find the people at the end of the line get a big pile of veg as they think everyone's taken what they wanted. Even more awkward if you're seated with people you don't know.

I hate it in restaurants too. When you've all ordered different things, some of which may not be supposed to come with veg, and you've got to work out who the veg is for.

Don't like buffets either but that's a whole different thread that's been done to death.

I love a platter of veg. It’s so frustrating to see others leaving veg on their plates when I would eat it!

Have seen this multiple times. Big steaming bowls of veggies look quite nice actually.

Definitely odd. Who wants to be handing round plates of veg at a wedding.

But you say in your OP that you were ‘unimpressed’ with the food, so isn’t irrelevant how it is served if it’s not good?

I think it's your wedding, you are paying the venue a lot of money and it should be how you want it to be.
Don't use words like 'demand' though - chefs can be stroppy about these things because for them there is artistry in the presentation.
I do think that for a wedding, it would be better to have all food on the plate or servers to ensure that food is shared out fairly.

• CrystalCoco This MUST be a regional / country (as in England) 'thing' as I've never ever been to any wedding or black tie dinner where only the meat comes out on the plate and there's a sharing bowl of vegetables.
  What fresh hell is this 😅 It's a big, fat no from me.*

It’s not regional, you probably just have quite an insular social life.

Why can't you just say you disagree @Swiftswatch, rather than being rude.

Fwiw I've been to more black and white tie central London events than I can count and never seen this. Only ever had it at good gastro pubs. I prefer it as you get more and I love veg, but someone I'm able to contain my horror and shock at others who disagree

Havnt been to many weddings in recent years but in past the plates came out fully prepped with everything on them. Total pain to wait for veg dish to be passed around

I’d think it normal, and a bit ho hum if the veg came on the plate. My experience over the past few years is that pricey restaurants don’t plate up veg any more, even if it’s a meal for one! You get the veg separately on plates/bowls and serve into your plate. I’d think it a bit of a cheap style if the veg came on the plate these days.

Should have added, the last 3 formal weddings I’ve been to this has been the case also, veg as shared side bowls to be passed around.

It takes a looooong time and LOT of space or a LOT of people to fully plate a meal. Your food will be hotter and more enjoyable served this way.

It works fine if there's sufficient plates or bowls of veg and potatoes.I've been at weddings where the veg and potatoes haven't got to my side of the table at all.

I’ve never been to a wedding where the veg isn’t on the plate already!

I think it’s a bit bizarre to have them in serving bowls.

Plated up food is what people usually moan about not the opposite. Think Downton Abbey, nobody gets a plate with veg, meat, gravy plated in the kitchen

In my wedding waitressing days we'd have a minimum of two waiters per table for silver service. I guess that's too expensive and/or they can't get the staff.

It's much easier to carry multiple plates with out veg - it means you can over lap using the clear section as you carry them. Plus they'd always be a rogue spud trying to make a dash to freedom.

But that's not your problem.

Push the venue to plate up but if they won't shift then ask for multiple bowls of veg (ie many more than their usual) so that nobody waits too long.

I’ve experienced several - been to several weddings, very formal dinners and events and never ever experienced this. How odd.

I've been to a few weddings in my lifetime and a couple recently and I have never experienced a shared veg bowl.

I would be concious of not enough going round, how awkward would be if there were no potato's for someone because someone else took a few too many. Then what if 2 people who don't know each other well go for the last few carrots, awkward but I am an overthinker 😆