to want to ask SGB a dirty sex question? Or anyone, really.

[HappySlapper]

Swingers clubs... yay or nay?

Experiences?

I have a friend.... and after much discussion, we have decided to perhaps do this together.

All I want is some pros and cons really. You can judge me if you want, but I won't care

omfg...brown ice cubes

my taco shells are tingling with anticipation...

Whoops.

Not that nervous.

Am glad you knew what that was Fanjo...

Kev - it was just a lucky guess. Honest guv.

I just wrote a long message and it disappeared argh!!

Anyway I watch mainly amateur porn as it is more real. I have made my own so it seriously wouldnt bother me. I like making porn and I definitely dont see myself as less 'worthy' as a woman. I know I am attractive and dont have any hangups about sex, my body etc, and never have done. I am also definitely not subordinate to men and feel I need to fulfill their desires. My husband fulfils my desires and fantasies but I wouldnt make him do anything he didnt want to or vice versa. It may come as a shock to you but some women like doing this types of things and dont do it for men.

I think you are being very judgemental onedeadbadger. Also I have never been a swinger or had sex with someone else when pregnant that is SGB. Not that it should be anything to do with you anyway but please stop mixing me up with other people.

Hold the ice cubes and hold the mayo for me...

Can we have a rule in our club about men over 50 in thongs?....it's like cheesewire through camembert.....

No Pat Sharp mullets either...

Chicca chicca bow wowwaaaaaa....

The probability of getting a bunch of skilled lovers at one of these dos is probably similar to the probability that a Michelin star chef is behind the vol au vents..

Definitely no over 50's in thongs.

Or jack-the-lad types 'avin' a larf' in Bruno-style mankini.

Unless they're fit.

My DH is a skilled lurverrrrr

I'll stick with him

Not in our club Eurostar, we are all foxy nylon clad peanut smugglers in clear plastic platform heels. Just overlook our reading spectacles on chains...we need them for close work with this lighting.

Anyfucker watch where you are jabbing that baguette!

Chicca chicca mmmmm bow wawawaaaa

My DH is semi-skilled. But still worth sticking with.

What shall we call our club?

Club Penguin?

Anyone for a crab stix vol au vent? Malcolm the driving instructor made them using his secret recipe. Bit salty for my taste tbh.

Swing City?

Sounds good, do you have a nice fluffy puffle Fanjo?

Sadly these days I'm more interested in the buffet though...

Would anyone like a lend of my DH ?

He is ver keen

rofl

Never mind the cock, I'll be led blindfold to the buffet table.

Yes I'm afraid I'd be the same, Kev.

I'd be doing my thing; sucking in my gut, pouting and posing, looking uber-sexy, twiddling nipples etc...all the while my eyes would be drawn to the pineapple and cheese on a stick.

What are his skills AF?

My needs are : hoovering under the bed, changing the toilet roll when it runs out, taking the wheelie bin up the hill...

These don't have alternate meanings by the way....."taking the wheelie bin up the hill" isn't a code phrase for bum sex or owt.

...mmmmm pineapple and cheese on a stick, we'll get Anton Mosimann to do ours right nice as a hedgehog on a foil wrapped orange....

chicca chicca mmmm yeahhhhhh!!

Some cucumbers carved into viking ships...woooahhh watch the cocktail sticks...

mowing the lawn

playing with the dog

dusting the sills

cunnilingus

yes, these are all euphemisms

except cunnilingus, that means handling the cillit