to be annoyed at 'lactivists'

[twinterror]

I have just seen on face book that 'lactivists' are planning on making stickers that say '100% mummy's milk' to put on bottles of expressed milk just so that the world knows that they are not formula feeding (horror of horrors!) how SMUG is this? And how judgemental of people that cannot breastfeed for whatever reason??!!!

is it just a continuation of the general promotional and blinkie mentality? Like slogan t shirts or signature bars on certain websites? or some sort of scouts/guides badge?

I see a challenge in making DS into a walking promotional for my parenting choices. Ive got a stickers for Breastfeeding, Vaccination status, diaper choice, organic diet etc etc.
I am also thinking of creating a little ticker for some significant date with LED lights down his back. Im somewhat uncertain as to where to put the embroidered patch that proudly proclaims his circumcision status though

That way there shall be no doubt about my his general superiority

I have been reading the posts but I still haven't heard any convincing arguments in favour of these. I was trying to make the point that I think these are more likely to alienate ffers rather than make them think 'oh gosh I didn't know you could express!' If that's the aim, then fine. But surely we should be trying to get as many mothers as possible to try to bf and encouragement rather than guilt has got to be the way forward.

They belong with the 'Princess on Board' stickers in car windows IMO. In the bin.

Guilt (deserved or entirely undeserved) comes from within. The emotion is horrible and painful but seeks a scapegoat. The gauche actions of a group of breastfeeders, or the tactless words of a relative or stranger, or the rushed behaviour of a midwife are an easy place to hang that guilt.

Breastfeeders are people as well! They are as self absorbed as the next person. I'm sure they are not trying to foster guilt. You do a fabulous job of that yourself. Nothing anyone says about formula being 'just as good' or hiding anything positive about breastfeeding will change that.

Guilt is incredibly complex and often doesn't have just one source. The whole bf/ff argy bargy is riven with other wider issues about parenting styles.

I'm only saying this as I know a bit about guilt. I felt extreme guilt that I was partly responsible for my father's suicide. Now, none of you would say I was responsible, would you. Rationally I know I'm not responsible, but I feel it like a lodestone around my neck.

This is all my own work and nothing anyone said, did, or didn't say affected it.

You cannot, simply cannot make a person feel guilty if they don't feel guilty. But you can't change the facts of life so that guilt isn't an issue.

Again, this is all part of the whole 'everyone wants you to breastfeed, but not next to you, or while you're eating, OR for you to talk about it'

Try NOT talking about, or getting enthusiastic about something you've spent 18 hours a day doing for months and months.

I stopped breastfeeding my DD at 4 and a half months, and I cant get over the feeling when I give her a bottle of formula that I'm being judged as a bad mother. I'm sure no-one gives a monkey's though - it's just my own guilt and feelings of selfishness.

So, to get to the point, I kind of understand why people want to make it clear that it's breast milk, but jesus, it's so unnecessary. Why does anyone even care? People should just feed their babies and not be so fucking 'my milkshake is better than yours' about it.

I think formula feeders should just relax and wake up to the fact IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!

Any daft cow who uses the excrutiating phrase 'mummy's milk', let alone put it on a sticker needs to take a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror.

Who are all these people who get filthy looks and nasty comments.

I breastfed and bottle fed all over the place years ago and nobody ever said anything off.

agree with jacobblack - ff if you still think its about you then go and stand in mothercare and wail that their breastpumps/nipple sheild shelf offends you.

" Again, this is all part of the whole 'everyone wants you to breastfeed, but not next to you, or while you're eating, OR for you to talk about it' "

So, so true!

And totally agree with JBB and sungirltan.

I just don't see why people are so defensive about it. I agree with you to an extent otchay - of course guilt is an internal emotion and it's no one else's responsibility.

But like I said last night, I know two women who have tried and tried to breastfeed, who have seen counsellors (both NHS and private) who have bought every pump going and still have not produced enough milk to sustain their babies. They feel terribly, terribly sad about it and guilty that they weren't able to give their babies 'the best start in life'.

I can't help seeing this from their point of view and that it would just feel like an extra twist of the knife which wouldn't make them want to talk to a sticker-er to help them get there next time.

I breastfed incidentally - on the bus, while registering my child, on a park bench, in restaurants. I never had a single comment or dirty look. Or if I did get any looks I certainly didn't notice them - I was too busy looking at my baby.

To the OP me thinks some people are sad and need to get out more/get a life and realise no one gives a damn.

Perhaps if they changed there strange time wasting hobby to campaigning to help the poor or stop cruelty that would actually make a difference in the world and they would be respected for it, instead of being seen as the self righteous, arrogant sado's they are at the moment.

That is a bit smug, and insecure if you need to advertise it.

Why the hell would you need bottles labeled in a nursery, one is liquid one is powder, if you are taking made up formula to a nursery you are nuts.

it's spost to be made as and when needed and chucked away after a few hours.

I came across the term lacivist the other day psml!

Oh my good god

You are not spost to re-heat it says so on the cans and why take it made up anyway, I'm sure nurseries have kettles for the endless cups of tea for the staff.

It's just self righteous, smug idiots, I formula feed, if you want to Boob feed thats your business, I hate all this campaigning for one or the other leave people alone to make the choice thats right for them.

Far more important for a baby to be loved then to care what it's being fed.

Dear good god. Very smug.
Who really gives a monkeys??
Is the baby happy? Healthy? Not screaming?

Good. Then, whatever!!!

End of.

My ds has prescription formula that is already liquid. It doesn't look like ebm though because it is homogenous and doesn't get that cream stuck to the sides of the bottle that you get with ebm in the fridge. Its irrelevent though as the dcs names would be on the bottles.

I think it's a bit smug, and very twee ("mummy milk" ). But I don't think it's a big deal if a handful of women (which is all this would be) fancy doing something a bit smug and very twee. The country is full of parents doing all sorts of smug/twee things and somehow my life continues largely unaffected. This is no more smug than those annoying "Baby on board" stickers in rear windscreens, for example.

I am, however, rapidly falling in love with chibi.

ALTIKUM hear hear!

And to those who would imply I'm smug because I can/did/chose to BF for 14 months, and to those who titter or whatever at people feeding their babies whatever way they are doing so, I think you are very sad - have a doughnut

I will confess to tutting only once at someone feeding their baby - it was years ago, it was the woman's third child, and she was very educated academic in her early 40's. She sat down on my sofa, started breastfeeding and CHAINSMOKED for the entire feed. I was completely shocked and had to leave the house. The image is engraved in my brain, I fear forever.

i am smug about bf dd. can i have a sticker?

What's the difference between proud and smug?

And if you feel sneered at in public for bottle-feeding, which sounds like hellish hard work, why not a little sticker to give you a bit of confidence?

I actually saw some of the Mummy's milk is better than milk from an old cow stickers today at the Children's centre, was v. surprised as I think they're a bit rude.
However true it may be.