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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at 'lactivists'

208 replies

twinterror · 01/07/2010 18:32

I have just seen on face book that 'lactivists' are planning on making stickers that say '100% mummy's milk' to put on bottles of expressed milk just so that the world knows that they are not formula feeding (horror of horrors!) how SMUG is this? And how judgemental of people that cannot breastfeed for whatever reason??!!!

OP posts:
HumphreyCobbler · 01/07/2010 21:25

"there ISN'T a bf movement, is there? this certainly isn't part of one concerted movement.
there are lots of individuals and a few chronically underfunded support charities."

harpsichordcarrier how true.

chibi, fantastic effort you have cheered me right up

HumphreyCobbler · 01/07/2010 21:27

it isn't really though, hardly anyone does breastfeed in this country.

that is why all this harping on about the mythical lactavist millitant who is infiltrating every corner of our society is so specious.

wahwah · 01/07/2010 21:30

Otchayaniye I like what you have to say and that you had a superbike. I miss my bike.

There is a weird dynamic about not offending or upsetting some militant FFs ( never come across these people in real life ) but actually these stickers aren't a bad idea. They label the contents of the bottle as a human product and give other women information about frequency of ebf in public. This could be really useful if they aren't confident bf in public, or want to go up and ask.

I couldn't get on well with ebf, so mixed fed from 6m ( even in public, looking just like every other ff mother! ) because I didn't care, but I certainly wouldn't have had any issues with this labelling.

harpsichordcarrier · 01/07/2010 21:30

usualsuspect I have a close interest in bf rates... and the two bf you mention will, of course, have had a number of reasons/motivations behind their choice/ability to bf and to continue.
the fact that it is framed as a choice - as not the norm - is telling and interesting in itself.
but two "open" bf mothers in a community - especially if they are visible or influential, can IME have a very positive effect on others' choices to (try to) bf.

sungirltan · 01/07/2010 21:32

at one of my baby classes there is one stay at home dad. when he feeds his dc he often annouces 'its breastmilk' whilst waving the bottle. bless him. if the stickers are free i might give him some he'd love them :-)

IFancyKevinELevin · 01/07/2010 21:36

god if it was an officially recognised sticker, could it mean you wouldn't have to drink your own breast milk at airport security?

Re: post on jaw alignment - what would DS's facial alignment have been like with his mouth under a 5lb boob for half the day?

Probably a very flat nose

GreenMonkies · 01/07/2010 21:37

I have seen the stickers, and I would have used them if they had been around when I was pumping, just to use on the bottles I gave to nursery, which was pretty much the only time my girls had ebm in bottles.

I think YABU, it's not smug. I didn't think of it as for showing the world they aren't using "nasty formula" when feeding out and about, I am fairly confident that the majority of these stickers would be just labelling bottles for nursery/carers etc. As for those mums who do exclusively pump, it's bloody hard work, and they are well within their rights, and not smug at all for wanting people to know that they make the extra effort to make sure their baby gets the food it was meant to have.

thefirstmrsDeVere · 01/07/2010 21:39

I am I the only woman in the whole world who has NEVER had a negative comment or hard look whilst feeding her baby in public?

I bf 4 of them - no one gave me evils

I ff one of them - no one set fire to me - not even once.

How much of it is real and how much of it is imagined? I am not suggesting people are making it up, I just wonder if we are all so scared of being judged whatever we do, it makes us paranoid?

I admit that I felt a bit embarrassed when I picked up DS2's milk from the clinic and it was under the buggy for all to see. WTF is all that about?

No one criticised me, no one has told me to stop bf in public either.

duchesse · 01/07/2010 21:39

I think I need one of those labels for my hip flask: 100% gin.

I think it's a little sad for the labellers that they feel they need to explain what's in their baby's bottle, when it should be between them and their baby (assuming it's not arsenic in there).

thefirstmrsDeVere · 01/07/2010 21:40

Have namechanged btw. So you will have to guess who I am

usualsuspect · 01/07/2010 21:41

I think a lot is imagined ..why would a dad feel the need to say its breastmilk? I would think so what?

scottishmummy · 01/07/2010 21:41

why have you name changed.your post is good.not contentious.at all

duchesse · 01/07/2010 21:41

Mrsdevere- ditto on bfeeding 4 in public and never had a negative comment. I used to hope someone would just so that I stand up for my baby's right to be fed, because other people I knew had had nasty or unpleasant comments and hadn't felt able to take those people to task. Alas, no-one has ever said anything negative whatsoever. I go out of my way to smile in a supportive way at publicly breastfeeding women, which maybe they think is a little weird. I hope not.

SoupDragon · 01/07/2010 21:44

one way that it would be a good idea is the fact that it points out that you don't actually need to breastfeed in public to give your baby breastmilk.

MillyR · 01/07/2010 21:45

Being proud of having done something in your life does not mean that you look down on people who have chosen to do something else.

It does seem to be persistent on MN - if someone does something different from the norm and feels really happy about doing so, lots of other people feel attacked by that. There really is no need.

IFancyKevinELevin · 01/07/2010 21:45

I think the ladies who asked me we hoping for a story behind it and some gossip. It was the same two every day in the precinct in Chippenham, probably wanted to know if something was wrong with me.

I should have said, yes I'm not BF'ing because I'm actually the father, out for the day in my wife's clothing"

I would have been devastated had they replied, " Yes we thought so dear"

sungirltan · 01/07/2010 21:47

usualsuspect - because he's really proud. his dp works full time and expresses - thats hard work! i'm proud of them!

harpsichordcarrier · 01/07/2010 21:47

I agree - I really wanted a water birth, at home. It just didn't happen for me but I LOVE hearing other people's stories - I don't think that they are smug or trying to make me feel bad or some shit like that.
extraordinarily self-centred, that sort of thinking

SoupDragon · 01/07/2010 21:47

I've breastfed three whenever and wherever I wanted and never had a comment, negative or otherwise. I have also never made a disparaging comment about a formula feeder either.

usualsuspect · 01/07/2010 21:48

I thought the whole point was to try and normalise bf not think it was different to the norm

thefirstmrsDeVere · 01/07/2010 21:48

Scottish didnt namechange for this (thanks for the compliment). I have had the same username for years and thought it was time for a change. No angle.

duchesse I really thought I would have to have sit down protests in cafes! Never happened. I currently live in an area with very low rates of bf. Only one or two of my friend bf. Everyone else ffs and their mothers did too. I expected a few but havent had any.

Quite a few of my friends have said they wouldve liked to bf but just couldnt do it. Its just so alien round here.

LadyBiscuit · 01/07/2010 21:49

Stickers are soooo not going to make ff mothers or pregnant women come up and ask you about it. ROFL - what planet are you on?

I still haven't heard a decent argument for them. Keep on trying please

Like I said - put your efforts into BF support, not castigating the women who can't (or boasting that you can? or being defensive that it isn't formula but mummy's milk? I can't figure out the thinking behind the stickers)

sungirltan · 01/07/2010 21:50

soupdragon - yeh if your baby will even drink from a bottle

SoupDragon · 01/07/2010 21:51

They don't have to come up and talk to you. They could just see it and realise it is possible to give breast milk from a bottle. It may not have occurred to them and it could be a lightbulb moment.

SoupDragon · 01/07/2010 21:52

Um, I had one that drank from a bottle, one that wasn't keen and one that flatly refused.