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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at 'lactivists'

208 replies

twinterror · 01/07/2010 18:32

I have just seen on face book that 'lactivists' are planning on making stickers that say '100% mummy's milk' to put on bottles of expressed milk just so that the world knows that they are not formula feeding (horror of horrors!) how SMUG is this? And how judgemental of people that cannot breastfeed for whatever reason??!!!

OP posts:
sungirltan · 01/07/2010 21:58

well mine has flatly refused. also since we are on the subject of facebook is you search 'breastfeeding' you will se a group that is anti feeding in public - nice huh

MillyR · 01/07/2010 21:58

Thefirstmrsdevere, no you are not the only woman who has never had a funny look. I breastfed on child until they 19 months and the other until they were 2 and bit years, and I have never had a negative remark directed at me. I have had some people ask how long I intended to breastfeed for, but only in a friendly way.

booyhoo · 01/07/2010 21:58

i dont think it is any different to parents putting branded clothing on their babies.
you could say that is smug and those parents have too much money.

so what if they have enough time on their hands to be printing off labels and sticking them on bottles, it isn't your time and if you dont think it is that great an achievement then why is it bothering you? just ignore. it is that easy. or have you a chip on your shoulder about it?

5DollarShake · 01/07/2010 21:59

LadyBiscuit - you seem to be ignoring so many of the posts.

Maybe people aren't boasting - maybe they're just proud of themsevles, while not actually giving two hoots how other people feed their own babies?

It is possible to be proud of one's own achievement whilst simultaneous not castigating someone else - again, there's that big old chip.

You're reading too much into it. There is no decent argument for them - some people just fancy doing it, and as someone else said a few pages back - they're just not that into you and what you do. Just proud of what they do. That's all there is to it. Is it really that hard to get?

BarmyArmy · 01/07/2010 21:59

Why do non-breast-feeding women get so defensive about their choice?

(It is always this way - labelling breast-feeding women as 'smug' as some sort of validation of their own choice).

Very strange.

MillyR · 01/07/2010 22:03

I should add, that while I have not received any negative remarks while breastfeeding, since stopping I have heard many negative remarks about other women who breastfeed. All of these remarks have been made by men who are unaware that I breastfed.

While I think it is find to be all judgeypants on MN, I like to think that Mothers generally close rank when criticised by the rest of society on the choices we make. I feel there are enough people judging mothers in real life without me joining in.

harpsichordcarrier · 01/07/2010 22:06

ladybiscuit if you read my posts you will see that I DO put my efforts into bf support.
I DIDN'T say that women will come and ASK I said that women would see it.
I DON'T castigate ANY women for their efforts.
never have, never will.
can you find someone on this thread castigating women who don't bf?
anyone?
what about someone castigating bf women? oh yes that's a bit easier isn't it... bf are smug twats because they, erm, hold on not quite sure about the argument there...

otchayaniye · 01/07/2010 22:07

This thread is reminding me of the dispiriting, noisy and painful experience of trying to express. I also obsessed that because I didn't leak I wasn't producing much (looking back, no wonder I never leaked when I fed every 1-2 hours)

I felt like a failure.

Fucking smug expressers!

booyhoo · 01/07/2010 22:21

i really dont get this. anyone who FF their baby did it for the best reasons, why the hell would you think just because someone is proud of BF that they are smug and judgemental? if it was your choice to FF then surely you know you made the right choice. and if you couldn't breastfeed for any reason then you have no option but to FF so again, you did the best thing for your baby... you fed it. end of. be happy with the decisions you have made and if you arent then that is your problem and no-one else's, you made the decisions you did. it has got absolutely nothing to do with the mother sitting in a cafe BFing her baby, it isn't her fault and she shouldn't be called smug and judgemental for her decisions.

GiddyPickle · 01/07/2010 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

duchesse · 01/07/2010 22:26

Why on earth would they want to though? what a bizarre idea.

scottishmummy · 01/07/2010 22:29

what about feed your baby however you wish.no stickers,no bells,no fanfare

booyhoo · 01/07/2010 22:30

yeah i agree SM feed your baby however you wish and if it makes you feel good to put a sticker on your bottle then do it, and ignore all the judgemental looks you get from FFeeders.

usualsuspect · 01/07/2010 22:32

booyhoo ..we don't care

scottishmummy · 01/07/2010 22:33

why all so divisive and stigmatised.we love our babies.we feed our babies

funnysinthegarden · 01/07/2010 22:33

Smug mcSmug IMO. I heart FormulaFeeder's, they are honest and brill!

booyhoo · 01/07/2010 22:33

then why the 7 page thread?

coffeefestival · 01/07/2010 22:35

YANBU

mattahatta · 01/07/2010 22:35

If they were promoting bottle feeding would they be 'smug' or 'judgemental'?

usualsuspect · 01/07/2010 22:36

read the thread booyhoo ..loads of bf don't agree with the stupid stickers ..not just the ff

Reallytired · 01/07/2010 22:36

I don't understand what the fuss is about. my daughter's nursery say that they have to make up bottles just before each feed. You are no longer allowed to make up a day's feeds of formula in one go.

Any most 'lactivists' would never use a bottle. Any self respecting baby of a militant breastfeeder would refuse a bottle.

I went back to work when my daugher was 9 months. She refused point blank to drink any formula or EBM. She just prefered to feed four times a night!

I think that some mothers need to go back to work or get a hobby, if they are really bothered about what milk is in someone else's baby's bottle.

booyhoo · 01/07/2010 22:37

i didn't say it was just FFeeders. but clearly some of them care enough to judge them on here.

i have read the thread btw.

LouAnnVanHouten · 01/07/2010 22:38

It was me who said that the stickers made them look like smug twats, not ladybiscuit, and I stand by it within the context that I said it. I don't think everyone will see it that way, it might not even be the majority but it will be a lot some and I think that breastfeeding is fragile enough to be damaged by perceptions like that.

Other people hobbyhorses are annoying and make people disengage. Most people aren't going to say "ooh! You can put ebm in a bottle, I didn't know that!", significantly more people will say "FFS".

Breastfeeders have a bad reputation for being "millitant" and "nazis" and imvho having to tell total strangers that you are are using "100% mummy milk!" just adds "odd" and "twee" and "smug" to the list of character flaws rather than making more people think that breastfeeding is a good thing and the norm.

I'm not chippy, I have bf for 2 years, I am a superb expresser and I needed 2 coolboxes to carry my excess home from scbu but I cannot for the life of me see how this promotes breastfeeding as the norm.

GiddyPickle · 01/07/2010 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Undutchable · 01/07/2010 22:42

Am I the only person who neither notices nor cares whether:

People give me 'funny' looks when I feed my child.

People breast feed or bottle feed a child in my presence?

I really honestly truthfully could not give a damn. I don't care what people think of me, or what they think of themselves, or what I think they think of what I may or may not be thinking. And I'm not especially self-confident (not at all really), it just wouldn't occur to me.