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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really sad for my little girl ???

161 replies

Childminderindistress · 30/06/2010 15:48

I went to pick up dd (6) a 3.20 and she looked really sad, and I asked her what was up and she told me she wanted to go to her friend Nadia. I said no my love you cant go as you havent been invited ! I looked at Nadia's mum and she was surrended by all dd's best friends. They have been all invited to Nadia's house for tea and water fun, apart from dd.

I know she expect to be invited to all the party but I couldnt help feeling so upset on her behalf... I mean it was so in her face..

Would you have feel the same as me or am I ott ?
On the top of that, this mum posted a statut on fb saying to pray for the sun as she had 12 little girls back at her house for a party.

Life is cruel !

OP posts:
Acinonyx · 30/06/2010 15:52

I have been there and felt exactly the same - very distressing! In our case dd did make friends with this girl later and is no longer excluded.

This may seem an odd suggestion but could you invite Nadia with or without other firends after school one day?

mamalovesmojitos · 30/06/2010 15:53

YANBU god that is cruel. thank god there is an unwritten rule in dd's school that if somebody has a party they invite EVERY girl. even if they do not get along with them. your poor dd

am thinking, and could be totally wrong, but there's no way you got an invitation and didn't notice? dd is always forgetting to give me things, takes them out of her school bag and drops them somewhere in the house. were all the rest of the class going?

OrmRenewed · 30/06/2010 15:53

How sad.

Original poster
Childminderindistress · 30/06/2010 15:54

But the thing is they are friends! So I dont understand why she has been excluded but I should have expected sooner or later just not so in her face. I will invite some friends over maybe just not Nadia

OP posts:
Hullygully · 30/06/2010 15:54

Some people are frankly vile.

loopyloops · 30/06/2010 15:54

Oh bless her! Could you give her a lovely impromptu treat right now? Cinema with mummy?

waitingforbedtime · 30/06/2010 15:54

yanbu, poor her

Magalyxyz · 30/06/2010 15:55

Luckily we have that unwritten rule too.

How many other children weren't invited?! Was it just your dd or was it four or five others. If your DD was the ONLY one not invited, I would assume it was an oversight. NObody could be that cruel to a child could they?

Original poster
Childminderindistress · 30/06/2010 15:56

It must have been a mail going around and I didnt get it. DD was looking so sad when I picked her up I tought she was sick or something, she must have her about the party all day, poor thing

OP posts:
slushy · 30/06/2010 15:56

Oh no! how vile of the other woman, can you do something special with your dd.

FoghornLeghorn · 30/06/2010 15:57

Oh your poor DD. I have a DD of the same age and would be very upset if that was her.
I agree a spur of the moment treat would be great if you could manage it

Original poster
Childminderindistress · 30/06/2010 15:59

I have just sacrificed my 2 last white chocolate to the dds and she can choose whatever dinner she wants... Everybody was looking at dd howling..it was just plainly mean.

OP posts:
Original poster
Childminderindistress · 30/06/2010 16:00

11 girls were invited, and dd is always with this group. The mum saw dd crying, she couldnt look at me in the eyes. It was completely unecessary

OP posts:
Missus84 · 30/06/2010 16:00

Sad for your DD, but I guess the other mother couldn't have invited everyone.

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2010 16:01

Sad Sad

trefusis · 30/06/2010 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2010 16:01

why not missus? Surely it's 1 or 2 or everyone?

Bessie123 · 30/06/2010 16:02

Nadia's mother sounds like an evil bitch

Dlamis · 30/06/2010 16:03

YANBU

A while ago ds1 came home talking about a girl at pre-schools party. He talked about it for weeks!
"When is x's party"
"X said i can go to her party" etc etc

Kept telling him to wait for an invite, eventually i heard another mum talking about x's party that had been weeks ago. Felt really sad for ds1 not so much that he hadn't been invited but more because he'd been strung along.

Greenshadow · 30/06/2010 16:03

I think we all face this situation at least once - we've had it twice in the last year.
No obvious reason why DS wasn't invited (in fact has only been invited to one of this friend's parties, despite us inviting him every year. They still play at school and chat to the mum - just no invite when all the rest of the gang get to go. We must have done something to ofend them at some point - but no idea what!

Original poster
Childminderindistress · 30/06/2010 16:03

I know I'll have to be the bigger person but I also that mum is also going to try to apologize and what should I say ? Hope you enjoyed upseting my dd ? I know I have got to be big on that one :-(

OP posts:
Magalyxyz · 30/06/2010 16:03

Is the 12 a mixture of girls and boys? Or is it ALL girls minus JUST your DD? I think those details are important.

If there are other girls left out too then that is not so personal.

If she is the ONLY girl not invited I would think about brazening it out! Send her along with a present and say, sorry, she didn't bring home an invite but I knew you'd never leave her out.

Missus84 · 30/06/2010 16:04

I don't see why it has to be 1 or 2 or everyone

Presumably the OP's dd isn't the only child not invited - the mum had to put a limit somewhere and she thought 12 6 year olds were enough.

Hullygully · 30/06/2010 16:05

No, it is very important that you act completely reasonably and say, it was just so hard for me to know what to say to dd when she could see everyone except her had been invited. Then she'll have to give a reason.

Then kill her

StealthPolarBear · 30/06/2010 16:05

why do you think she will apologise?
Surely if she was of that mind all she needed to do was come over when you were there and say "are you coming too ? Did your invitation get lost?"