to be really sad for my little girl ???

[Childminderindistress]

I went to pick up dd (6) a 3.20 and she looked really sad, and I asked her what was up and she told me she wanted to go to her friend Nadia. I said no my love you cant go as you havent been invited ! I looked at Nadia's mum and she was surrended by all dd's best friends. They have been all invited to Nadia's house for tea and water fun, apart from dd.

I know she expect to be invited to all the party but I couldnt help feeling so upset on her behalf... I mean it was so in her face..

Would you have feel the same as me or am I ott ?
On the top of that, this mum posted a statut on fb saying to pray for the sun as she had 12 little girls back at her house for a party.

Life is cruel !

Hands Magal a pitchfork.

Too bad there's no iggy function on here.

OP, you didn't invite Nadia to your daughter's party, and, although you think you were discreet, it obviously got back to her.

Methinks this is payback, sadly.

She is ok now so that is the main thing ! I have my happy gorgeous little girl back !

Kids this age get over things quickly and easily, Child. She'll probably be fine tomorrow and probably not even remember it.

ah its all ghastly - not looking forward to this side of parenting at all. Your poor DD & you - not nice to feel rejected, or see one you love hurt like this. YANBU

As for you didn't invite her so she won't invite you stuff - are you serious? So the person who's birthday falls first in the school year sets the standard for who will be invited to parties and who won't? And if your birthday is late in the year you are only going to invite the kids who invited you to their parties? Sorry but I don't buy that - but what do I know. DD only 2.5 - excited about next birthday already!

I agree with missus - it is heartbreaking for us when dc are left out or upset. But there is usually good reason like, simply, numbers.
I don't see why every child shld be invited.
My dd, same age, only had a few from her class.
It's really crazy to start calling the mum an evil bitch! In my experience, most people/parents are perfectly nice but either have their own good reasons or had a thoughtless moment or something else NON EVIL!

I like hullygully's suggestion - if this was my DD I wouldn't be able to resist going up to the mum preferably infront of others and saying you hope nadia and co had a lovely time at the party, and you hope your daughter being upset didn't grate on their nice time at all, 'she was just so sad to have not been invited when all of her other friends were going that she couldn't really hide it. ' And then just stand there smiling at her, in silence.

Then kill her.

Are you going to unfriend Nadia's mum on FB ?

Well, if your DD and Nadia are both part of the same group (and therefore should both be included in all invitations), then it was just as unfair not to invite her to your DD's party.

I do acknowledge that it must have been awful seeing your DD so upset.

I wouldn't make too much of a big deal over it to your DD though - it's not nice to have to instill such lessons in small children, but she does have to learn that life is not always fair, and it's far better that she treats such things like water off a duck's back, then wallow and feel worse about it all. And I think if you as her Mum make too much of a big deal about it - fussing over her and giving her treats to make up for it, then she will wallow in it for longer. No-one's happy then, and she doesn't learn the skills for coping when it inevitably happens again in her life.

I am sure plenty will disagree with this way of handling it, but it's what I think.

Yes but the difference for our birthday party, it was on a saturday and the meeting up was at my house not at school...I wont call the mum a evil bitch and will carry on being polite as usual !

Re 5dollar's comment, don't tell DD you have killed Nadia's mum. that is possibly a teeny bit risky for her future sanity.

joking aside, I'd be bitchy as hell to the mum, just the once, but I'd tell my DD sometimes stuff like this happens, and its rubbish and annoying, but not the end of the world and loads of other fun stuff is happening etc etc - I certianly wouldn't be going down the compensatory treats route - it is sad for her because she is little and feels left out, but it is not a really major life drama and you shouldn't rev it up into one for her, but play it down. imHo of course!

But wasn't Nadia's party at her house, too?

Are you going to divorce the mum on FB?

Splitting hairs there, I think...

So it's OK if it's done behind others backs, but not if it's out in the open?

I'm just playing devil's advocate, really. But I don't really think you have too much of a leg to stand on, if you'd previously done the same thing as this Mum yourself.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying tit-for-tat invitations / exclusions are the right and proper way to deal with it.

I would go up to the mother and say to her that you hope that she's proud of herself for creating divisions among friends and walk off.

Expat - I almost unfriended her

expat....(as a rough cockney once said to me) wind your neck in.

Saying discriminatory and horrid things about girls and their mothers is not very becoming.

Poshsinglemum - really?

I would think you were unbearably petty if you did that. Plus, as the OP has already said, her DD had a party that Nadia wasn't invited to, so yanno...

This, get a sense of humour.

Oh, and read the thread.

It's sort of moved on from there.

I wouldn't unfriend her, Child, because then she'd definitely know she got your goat.

Just rise above and act like nothing happened.

Nah even better is to write on her profile

hope all the little girlies have a wonderful time, and please say happy bday to your dd from me and my dd, righto gotta go me and dd are going swimming.

No way, posh! Then she'd know the OP was niggled by it (well, I'm sure she already does).

But if the OPs DD is over it, just let it lie.

x-post, good one, slushy!

just leave it at a gushy happy birthday and hope they all had wonderful fun.

I'm not going to create a scandal !!!!! I dont want to over analyse it, what happened this afternoon was sad but hey...Life is a bitch, the earlier you know the better you are prepared !! It happened to me when I was a child and I didnt grow up feeling bitter !

You are all mad you know.

Just to make it clear, the little girl was not having her birthday party, just a massive playdate !

Agree with Morloth - mad to get this involved in the social lives of 6 year olds! Seriously, people would make comments on facebook over a playdate invitation?