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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really sad for my little girl ???

161 replies

Childminderindistress · 30/06/2010 15:48

I went to pick up dd (6) a 3.20 and she looked really sad, and I asked her what was up and she told me she wanted to go to her friend Nadia. I said no my love you cant go as you havent been invited ! I looked at Nadia's mum and she was surrended by all dd's best friends. They have been all invited to Nadia's house for tea and water fun, apart from dd.

I know she expect to be invited to all the party but I couldnt help feeling so upset on her behalf... I mean it was so in her face..

Would you have feel the same as me or am I ott ?
On the top of that, this mum posted a statut on fb saying to pray for the sun as she had 12 little girls back at her house for a party.

Life is cruel !

OP posts:
Cretaceous · 30/06/2010 16:23

I'm sure she'll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow - at least, she will have if you just laugh it off and say it's not important. After all, it's not really important, is it? We all feel bad from time to time, but we get over it if we don't dwell on it. It was probably just an oversight as to the different groups of girls in the class.

seeker · 30/06/2010 16:23

This happened to my 14 year old a couple of weeks ago - it doesn't get any easier!

CaptainKirksNipples · 30/06/2010 16:23

Just read your last post, surely it is obvious to you?

Magalyxyz · 30/06/2010 16:24

The mother probably 'owed' invitations to the girls she invited then.

It's not personal and you should be kind to your dd but you should remind her that Nadia wasn't invited to her party. Nadia is lucky and gets a bigger party. This isn't fair but it's life and it doesn't mean that she's not well liked by everybody.

Don't make it in to a bigger deal than it is, your dd will pick up on it. My dd is 7 now but I don't think she would have cried publicly over this even last year. So perhaps you need to remind her that most things can not be taken personally.

Lonnie · 30/06/2010 16:25

YANBU to feel upset for your dd but sadly it is life. You can explain it to your dd by saying well you didnt invite Nadia to your party so Nadia didn't invite you either (or words to that effect)

fyimate · 30/06/2010 16:25

To solve it, you could just simply talk to the other girls mother and explain you didnt mean to offend (etc) but you were unable to invite more than 5 for financial reasons and hope that your DD's non-invite isnt down to that as it's upset her a lot.
?
I wouldnt really want to have to tell her about financial difficulties but seriously...does it matter?
You could aways just explain this to your DD, say she most likely hasnt been invited because her friend wasnt invited to your DD's party before.
?

CaptainKirksNipples · 30/06/2010 16:25

I am curious were you worried about the other girls you didn't invite to your DD's party? You know 6 year olds are not discreet no matter if you've told them to keep quiet or not?!

fyimate · 30/06/2010 16:26

Ok I was late in posting, didnt see the last posts. But agree with most.

Missus84 · 30/06/2010 16:27

There you go then - she invited some of the girls, you invited some of the girls.

Just remind your DD that not everyone gets invited to everything all the time, and do something nice with her instead.

expatinscotland · 30/06/2010 16:30

I'm so glad my 7-year-old DD doesn't play with any girls. Her friends are all boys.

Girls are catty little bitches, and their mothers are, too.

Hulababy · 30/06/2010 16:32

Ah, that is not true expat. Lots of little girls are lovely and not catty and definitely not bitches either. And I would argue their mums aren't too.

And we have had similar threads from mums of boys when DSs have bem excluded too. Ths is not a girl only problem IME of MN.

Original poster
Childminderindistress · 30/06/2010 16:32

I agree with what everybody is saying, I do !! Tomorrow it will be forgotten, its just the sight of my dd being very upset right in the front of the party goers which has been hard but I agree she cant be invited everywhere as we cant invite everyone but I 'm sure it will have been hard for you lot to see the scene even as an outsider !

OP posts:
Condensedmilkaddict · 30/06/2010 16:32

Woah Expat.

Think you might be generalising there?

ShinyAndNew · 30/06/2010 16:32

'Girls are catty little bitches, and their mothers are, too.' I agree with the first bit totally. Dd1 is always falling out with one friend or another and finds it highly amusing when that person is excluded from the group. It's not so funny when they do it to her though

Thisisthatvilewoman · 30/06/2010 16:33

Ah, perhaps Nadia has gone home very upset about not being invited. A little boy who plays here often didn't invite ds1 to his party, I will think twice next time.

thisisyesterday · 30/06/2010 16:33

"I'm so glad my 7-year-old DD doesn't play with any girls. Her friends are all boys.

Girls are catty little bitches, and their mothers are, too."

you'd know, what with beiong a mum of girls then

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 30/06/2010 16:34

If you didn't invite Nadia to your DD's party, I'm not really sure what the problem is? bTW, I've never understood the 'all or nothing' thing with children's parties. My DS's invite a group of their friends within our budget. It's not personal, and to be frank I don't want to spend hundreds of pounds taking 30 kids to the cinema.

Magalyxyz · 30/06/2010 16:34

Talk about a generalisation. for four years I've invited every girl in the class even though the house is not fit for it and I've outsourced the party once and that was expensive, but I didn't want to cut the numbers because the group are all lovely. They are a nice bunch of girls and there has been NO trouble so far. Who knows about next year, but so far they are all nice kids.

Coca · 30/06/2010 16:34

I think we may get involved more in girly saquabbles because it often hits raw nerves from our own experiences at school (as nasty little bitches)

expatinscotland · 30/06/2010 16:35

I love throwing out comments like that and seeing you all get all het up.

It never fails and it's hysterical.

expatinscotland · 30/06/2010 16:36

'you'd know, what with beiong a mum of girls then'

Haahahaaa! Most definitely!

Touche! Touche!

Bring on the pitchforks.

expatinscotland · 30/06/2010 16:37

I went to an all-girls, private Catholic school.

It should have been called Bitch Academy.

Coca · 30/06/2010 16:38

see raw nerves

Magalyxyz · 30/06/2010 16:39

I'm not het up. You couldn't make me 'het up' as I'm well used to you at this point.

expatinscotland · 30/06/2010 16:39

the school did have a policy that you had to invite the entire class to any party.

but then it became a bitchy game to snub certain invites.

'twas hysterical.