to be really sad for my little girl ???

[Childminderindistress]

I went to pick up dd (6) a 3.20 and she looked really sad, and I asked her what was up and she told me she wanted to go to her friend Nadia. I said no my love you cant go as you havent been invited ! I looked at Nadia's mum and she was surrended by all dd's best friends. They have been all invited to Nadia's house for tea and water fun, apart from dd.

I know she expect to be invited to all the party but I couldnt help feeling so upset on her behalf... I mean it was so in her face..

Would you have feel the same as me or am I ott ?
On the top of that, this mum posted a statut on fb saying to pray for the sun as she had 12 little girls back at her house for a party.

Life is cruel !

Totally agree - I know the OP is not going down this route, but I can't believe there are suggestions of defriending the Mum on FB - or issuing her with 'withering' (read: cringeworthy) remarks!

Honestly - 6 years have more maturity about how to handle these sorts of things than some Mums.

What she did was just the same as you.

You may have done it on a saturday but when they all went in on the Mon and talked about your DD's party, how do you think Nadia felt? How do you know she didn't go home upset that eve?? Did you give that any thought?

You are just upset because it's your DD. Would you have been annoyed if your DD was going but Nadia's mum had missed out another from the group?

You see, I would. I couldn't bear the thought of my children being included at the expense of just one other. Hand on heart, if my child was invited to a class party with just one child left out for no real reason, I would not let my child go. Instead I would arrange a playdate with the left out child. There is absolutely no need and it's just nasty.

(but this isn't what's happened here)

Oh yes Hullygully - spot on advice. SO mean it makes me want to cry/shout/beat down the door! Even if this Nadia girl is being a nasty piece of work excluding your daughter then the mother should be setting a much better example by explaining why this is so hurtful. When you have 12 little girls tearing around, is one extra really going to make a difference?? As I said, just so mean.

I was just about to say that YANBU, however reading further down the posts, there's your answer, you did not invite Nadia to your dd party what do you expect! Mabey Nadia felt very hurt and sad not to be invited to your dd party. Surely as an adult you should know this! Anyway this is a good preparation for life, not everything is going to go our way and children have to learn be it the hard way, we cannot keep cotton wooling them all the time.

I think that Stealths ds had the right idea, taking it on the chin like that and being practical instead of hysterical about it. Mabey you should try that with your dd op.

Well party/playdate whatever. Probably it was payback time at Nadia not being invited to your dd party, fairs fair. Dont embarrass yourself by saying anything, conduct yourself discreetly.

I do agree though whether Nadia's parents were being childish op can't complain really as she has done the same to Nadia.

These thread really upset me, I would be sad if that happened to my DD (she is 6). Luckily my DDs school has a policy that you have to invite the whole class (or at least all the kids of that gender in the class).

Of course the school can't actually enforce, they just said they trust the parents not invite just some of the kids to a party as its too upsetting for the kids that get left out.

Whatever honestly, a big W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R to all those who need to add a layer ! Lets go back to basic, we are talking about a 6 years old who saw all her friends going for a SUMMER party.

Just read the bit that you didn't invite Nadia to your DD's party, well in that case YABVU to be upset by this. Surely you realised when you only invited a few kids that the flipside would be that your DD would only get a few invites.

At my DDs school those that can afford less do joint parties in their houses and the parents do the entertainment, can't see it costs that much, esp if split two or three ways.

Whatever I leave you to it now !

"Lets go back to basic, we are talking about a 6 years old who saw all her friends going for a SUMMER party."

Yes, and Nadia probably heard all her friends talking about your DD's party on the Monday after. Nadia probably felt exactly like your DD does now.

I don't see the difference?

Whatever...I didnt mean all of that..the joy of internet chatting !

'Whatever'

My 15 year old uses that line when she can't get her own way.

It's hard when this happens

I get with ds1 that its a bit different as he has SN and people dont necessarily like him, but even so.... there's one kid in his class who invites everyon else. He'd be dead not to be upset woudln't he?

And last eyar a Mum invited all the boys and instead of sneaking off as I would have done, stood right in front of me (about 3") to make it as obvious as possible ebfore organbising them in a 'party line' in front of DS; that was as close as I have ever come to losing it and poking her ahrd (I didn't, I wouldn't, I am better than that).

What I did do afetrwards was gather any kids who get regularly missed out together and hold a misfits party (our name, clearly didn't tell teh kids) adn it was tremendous fun: these kids are often the shy, quiet, poorer, or SN ones and absolute joy to be with. And it's by far the best way to stick two fingers up at these aprents: better fun without them.

o well, dc invited 15 children to his partie and got about 2 invites back (yes, others had party). Now we don't bother with that many

Oh dear. Another AIBU where the OP only wants to hear YANBU.

OP, if you just want a rant and no-one disagreeing, post in Chat not in AIBU.

How utterly hilarious.

Its mean when it happens to your DD but fine when you do it to others.

traceybath - fuck off (in a polite way)

I'm only human, dd is too..we had birthday party this year, we only invite ( as other parents did) a small group of girls, nadia was not invited..but hey.

The thing is, I'm not middle class, not a sahm, cant give a lot of playdates, so there it is...nevermind as I said, my dd is happy right now so biggie !!

"Girls are catty little bitches, and their mothers are, too."

You misogynist Expat! Are Women bad drivers and hysterical too (plus other pat, sexist generalisations)?

I agonised over this when my dd1 had a party for her 4th birthday, made list after list of names, couldnt work it so that I wouldnt be upsetting someone, so got a class list and invited every bugger, thinking, well lots prob wont be able to make it, but this way nobody is left out, I ended up with 47 kids at her party

Back to the OP - I had every sympathy until you drip fed the information that a number of girls from the class had not been invited, and that you previously had failed to invite Nadia to your daughter's party (which of course is your right - but why protest when boot is on the other foot?). Sorry, but it does come across a bit precious to rail over the injustice of it all in the circumstances

I'm interested in why you didn't invite Nadia in the first place if she was in your DD's cliche - I'm not really getting the financial reasons for 6 v 7 ?

My DD wasn't invited to a party earlier on this year & I know it was all a bit hushed (i.e. so & so isn't invited).

Maybe something similar but both girls have had playdates before. I, of course, took umbrage (on behalf of my DD, who fortunately took it all in her stride) & didn't invite her to DD's party.

Sad for your DD for the public-ness of it all, but perhaps a lesson for the future ?

Oh come on...I 'm sorry, you dont get the context and everything..critizing all you want !! and I can take a big fat YABU !!!

I didnt invite Nadia because she is a friend not a best friend...Nadia invited her friends none of them were her best friends...I'm not 6 years old, it was just was about my dd being upset seeing all the girls she is playing everyday going for a party and being upset about it....She is fine now, I'm sure you are happ to know that !!!

Golly - thats the first time I've been told to fuck off on mn - do I get a special prize.

The point I was making Childminder was that do unto others. Nadia was probably upset about being excluded but didn't do the public crying that your daughter did.