to be really sad for my little girl ???

[Childminderindistress]

I went to pick up dd (6) a 3.20 and she looked really sad, and I asked her what was up and she told me she wanted to go to her friend Nadia. I said no my love you cant go as you havent been invited ! I looked at Nadia's mum and she was surrended by all dd's best friends. They have been all invited to Nadia's house for tea and water fun, apart from dd.

I know she expect to be invited to all the party but I couldnt help feeling so upset on her behalf... I mean it was so in her face..

Would you have feel the same as me or am I ott ?
On the top of that, this mum posted a statut on fb saying to pray for the sun as she had 12 little girls back at her house for a party.

Life is cruel !

now now, we all need to calm down and feel the love. Let us agree 1. it is never nice to see a 6 yr old cry and 2. you should include all relevant info in the op...

Ok, rereading the OP.

YANBU to be sad for your daughter.

YABU to think it's unfair she wasn't invited.

OK?

Hully - did you ever buy a very plain blue dress? I have often wondered.

And what minipie said.

Politely

'Golly - thats the first time I've been told to fuck off on mn - do I get a special prize.'

Welcome to the club! It's a good 'un, like having posts deleted, threads you started pulled and a stalker!

I hope Nadia is not the real name btw

Alright, am I missing something here? How the fuck do you know who Nadia's best friends are?

DS's best friend changes daily so half the time (well maybe all the time) I don't who he is best friends with, let alone another kid's.

This is fascinating...

"not middle-class, not a SAHM"

Chippy much ?

Well life lessoned learned by your dd, glad she is fine now. So Nadia probably felt that your dd was a friend not a best friend. She was probably hurt and upset about not being invited to your dd party, cant have it both ways, but you dont seem to understand that. There is not reason why Nadia should invite your dd when your dd did not invite her to her party.

I agree this stuff is heartbreaking.

A child in ds's (6) class was telling people if they could or couldn't play with ds, for no apparent reason. So when asked if there was any children that each child didn't want to be with next year, ds and I decided to opt to mention this child (it's been going on for two years and ds is such a placid child that he was just putting up with it).

As a consequence, ds is now in the year 2 class with NONE of his friends, the youngest delinquents in the year plus some of the year below

nice Hullygully, the mental image of that is funny

But most people here are right, we were not made aware in your first post that you had not invited Nadia to a party you had before so seems to us it's a tit for tat situation.

It's heartbreaking to see your dc sad whatever the case so yanbu about that, but Naadia's mum (and I really hope that isn't her real name) probably felt the same way when Naadia went home on Monday upset that she didn't get an invite.

Really heartbreaking?

It really is actually painful Hully- am not someone who goeds about regualrly gettinge asiily offended by minor slights on boys but it is just so in your face, and probably hurts more if you were also the kid last to be chosen or whatev er: experience will denitely inform reaction on this I reckon.

I've had kids crying for all sorts of reasons but the anger and hurt I felt that this was deliberately inflicetd (and in our case it was) really did shock me. The other traumas they ahve experienced- falls, sn diagnosis, whatever- ahve always been bad luck, acidents etc- this can really be cruel adults.

I agree Sancti - but am puzzled as to why you have addressed your post to me?

Mistake Hully; meant morloth, sorry

Ok I want to apologizing for acting like a twat towards the end, it all got too much. Saw the mum and we are not on speaking term but I'm sure it will be alright in the future.

not on speaking terms?? do you mean you cooly ignored each other or did you fall out?

I was the fat kid, I know all about being left out, but would have been horrified if my Mum had gotten involved.

DS is left out of stuff sometimes of course, everyone is at some point. I view it as my job to help him get over it rather than try and make people be nice to him.

I find it utterly bizarre how involved adults get in 6yo's social lives.

It is just really awkward, I dont know how to act around her. `

I was always left out- spectacle wearing, ugly kid who didn;t fit in with any group (parents the better off ones on the estate but poorer than the village kids.... tbh if I were a child now i'd probably also be diagnosed as Aspergic (and honestly I do have enough knwoledge to say that, not just a guess, 2 asd kids and half an MA in ASD- post grad cert I think i'd get if I gave up now)

Bt whilst my aprents would enver have been invovled nor would I want them to (and I never have done wrt to my boys) it doesn't stop the absolite horror of it when it happens. I just choose to fight back differently- hence the aprty for the left out kids I mentioned below.

why not just sile and say hello as you walk past her next time...if she says anything a bou it just be understanding and say 'i know dd was upset, I appreciate you didn't have to invite her ...just as we couldn't invite Nadia to ours..don't worry dd is fine now thanks'

smile not sile...

I'll try to smile

Good !! Honestly, you don't wan any bad feelings to fester so just be bright and breezy about it and your dd will soon get the message that it wasn't important too..