to not like being told the truth by my DH

[onsabbatical]

I bought a new dress at the weekend. I was shopping with my 13 year old DD and she said I looked beautiful in a rose print dress from Hobbs. I put it on to go to a World Cup BBQ at a friend's house on Sunday and asked DH if he liked it. I felt great in it.

He said that it put 10kg on me and that it was fine if I wanted to look fat. I am 8 stone but only 5ft 2 so can be swamped in unfitted shapes. AIBU to wish he had just said I looked great even if he secretly thought it was unflattering?

It's too late to take it back as I had cut out the labels already but I don't think I will ever have the heart to wear it even though both my DD's (the other is 16) say I looks lovely in it.

When I was in my thirties, I let DH buy all my clothes as I got sick of taking back ones that I bought for myself because he didn't like them. BTW he is very generous and buys me much more expensive outfits than I would buy myself but somehow I want to choose! AIBU or should I be grateful that I have such an honest DH with great taste?

Oh wear it and tell him to fuck off...and in future, just don't ask him!

Why do you take his word over your daughters? He sounds incredibly over-critical to me, I wouldn't be able to cope with someone telling me I looked shit in stuff I really liked and choosing my clothes for me.

If generous + honest = controlling and you're ok with that then fine

he is a control freak, and was not being honest, just mean, to knock your confidence so you let HIM dictate what you wear again.

post a pic... we will tell you the absolute honest truth (secretly just nosey and wants to see the dress)

but i know what you mean, even if i think i look great, i don't feel so good knowing dp doesn't like it

he tells you what to wear?! fuck that for a bunch of bananas...

wear it

feel good

ignore him

he CLEARLY doesn't have taste

and I can not comprehend that a size 8 anyone can be swamped and put 10kg on in a dress... I just don't think it possible

jesus, if you are eight stone I seriously doubt you could EVER look fat, even if you were wearing a sack

I think he sounds very rude and controlling

I was going to say YABU (DH and I always tell eachother if we look not right in something) but the way he said "that is fine if you want to look fat" is awful! That's just insulting. YANBU, sounds alot deeper than just this TBH.

do you get to tell him what to wear?

YABU for letting your DH buy your clothes for you, and for letting him take back your choices.

Sounds a bit controlling.

You've only got his word that his taste is that good.

He sounds horrible. Besides, I'd take a woman's opinion over a man's any day! Tell him to feck off and don't ask his opinion again. If you're a teeny weeny 8 stone you must surely look good in pretty much anything!

I don't understand why his opinion is 'the truth'? Were both of your daughters lying then? He sounds a complete gimboid.

I bet he jsut doesn't like the print - my DH hates anything too flowery.

I would not put up with the rudeness however and I doubt seriously whether anyone your size could ever look fat.

Your dress sounds lovely and your daughters love it, that would be good enough for me.

Does he tell you how you should be thinking about other things?

gimboid? thats a new one on me??

Your 16 yo DD is far more likely to know what she's talking about. When I was 16 I would take back anything my Dad liked! Surely all DHs are completely clueless about clothes and it is very controlling if he's actually buying most of your clothes.

Why does it have to be him that has the great taste - it is far more likely to be you and your daughters that have it.

He sounds like a controlling bully.

I'll see if I can figure out how to post a picture. I guess I need to put up another one next to it so you can see how I look in something else......

This is far beyond my realm of experience.

It just sounds weird to me that your DH has in the past bought all your clothes. Why does he care so much/

next time you go out with his friends, wear a bin liner fastened at the waist with a bit of rope. He'll get the message.

Don't forget to mention how his backside is suddenly suffering from middle aged spread, and how it may be time to reel in the pie consumtion on the way out to said gathering.

Then over the next few weeks drop into the conversation his:

Nose hair,

Ear Hair,

Skinny legs,

etc...

I agree that i'd trust a woman's opinion more than a man's

Waiting to see picture, but can't imagine how someone who is eight stone can possibly look that much bigger simply by wearing a dress, unless the dress had a fatsuit sewn into the lining.

Trust your dd's - they don't want to be embarrassed by you! Is he the jealous type?

I was in a shop recently and this couple came in. He sent her to the changing rooms and started discussing what clothes she should try on with the shop assistant. She then tried them on and didn't say a word. She ended up in stiletto boots, a mini skirt and a very revealing top (she had come in in a similar outfit). He then sent her back to the changing room and paid.

When I came out of the changing rooms my dh had his chin on the floor - he couldn't believe what he'd seen and the way the guy had spoken to her

Anyway, reminded me of that!

If I buy something I love I pre warn my dh that I love it and if he says anything negatve I will shove it where the sun don't shine. If I ask his opinion I take it on board though.

Feel for you though - talk about knocking your confidence