to think non competitive sports day is ridiculous and a waste of time

[PanicMode]

I went to a prep school where every child's strength was encouraged - whether one's strength was academic, sporting, musical, art, drama etc, it was found and nurtured.

My children's (state) school does non competitive sports day, which I think is ridiculous and in addition is unfair on those children that excel at sport - when do they get to shine or have their potential realised? (This is not because my children are fantastic at sport btw - they really aren't!).

(And for those who are going to say if you don't like it, move to the private sector - if you'd like to pay my four sets of fees, then I'd be eternally grateful )

litchick, that sounds similar to how my kids' school does it, it does work really well and the children are fiercely competitive for their team! The cup spends the next year with the ribbons for the team that won, and they do look at it with pride!

To those who are saying that 'sports day is the only day for sporty children to shine as opposed to a weekly spelling test' - that's rubbish, they do have PE lessons at least twice a week, which would be the equivalent of the weekly spelling test. Ds1 is not particularly good at sport (though loves playing it), and we have had quite a few instances of him coming home from school unhappy, because they play football every break and every lunchtime, and because he isn't one of the 'really good at sport' children, he doesn't get much of a look in. Plus there are always sporting events going on - matches against other schools etc.

The children I think who don't get a chance to 'shine' are the invisible average children - the child who does pretty well at everything, but is never 'the one' to be 'the best'. They're usually pretty well behaved, and can go through school without ever having their 'moment in the sun'. Doesn't usually happen to the sporty kids though.

(just to clarify, the getting points for the 'team' is similar, the activities/races sound v different).

In addition to the carousel of activities in the afternoon, the kids did things like long jump in the morning within their classes, so they had a go at some 'proper' events, but without the pressure of doing it in public! So every child in ds1 and dd's classes had a go at the long jump, which simply wouldn't be possible if they'd done it in the afternoon - would have taken too long, and been very boring for the rest of the kids!

LilyBolero - absolutely agree.

I see why they do it,,,,, but my daughter is one of the youngest in the class and academically she is only average and they're always giving out to her for being hyper and chatty. but she is a great runner, really fast and is very agile and supple and adventurous. And she never gets credit for that stuff......

I have no idea what to expect (first sports day coming up). Checked this morning with school, ds has been practising the races etc. He is happy. It was obviously never about coming first, I'm very glad he can join in. Relief.

Lequeen, my ds1 is the prime example of a child who was pretty rubbish at maths, but didn't lose confidence, and worked hard, and did just click this year. He's amazing at mental arithmetic now! Don't under-estimate the power of the mind, if you're told you're rubbish at something, chances are you will be, even if that's not absolutely true.

So how do some schools do it? We had competitive sports day, but it wasn't say, the whole class doing the 100 m at once. The top 5 say from each year would race each other. Everybody got to take part on one activity at least, obviously some might participate in 5 events and some only 1. So there was never the 'best' racing against the 'worst' in any event so no humiliation if you see what I mean, but there was still real individual competition.

Not sure Lequeen. I am happy ds competes, but more to the point I am grateful he is can compete. Because even though I have excelled at most things, my son is not me. I am learning to see the world in a different way.

Oh, meant to say we also had a prizegiving day (very yawn as a child) where prizes were given for best in different subjects, different attributes, accomplishments, extra-curricular activities etc etc so there was plenty to excel at and be seen to publically.

I really don't think anyone is 'not letting them do something that makes them feel uncomfortable'. The 'having a go' attitude is great. But I would have thought anyone with an ounce of compassion towards kids (especially shyer, more sensitive kids) would realise that there's having a go, and then there's being forced to do something you really don't want to do, you know you'll be rubbish at, and what's more, doing it in front of the whole school and parents. You really wouldn't do that in ANY other area of schooling. The only humane options to me are to either make it voluntary, or to do the hybrid sports day as I've described below, where everyone takes part, and the sportiest kids can compete in more competitive races.

The sort of sports day I had as a kid where we were all allocated an event, spent most of the day sitting in the sun on the field, and then being hauled up to come last in your event is some sort of purgatory. The only one I enjoyed was when we all did country dancing instead.

Whereas yesterday, ALL the kids were running around all afternoon, EVERYONE was involved, and EVERYONE was smiling.

Darn it I keep remembering things. Surely 'exposing' children to not being the best at something or failure for want of a more sensitive word whilst at school/in a safe environment (with parents etc) is a far better proposition than sending them out in to the big bad world to find out on their own? There is nothing wrong with not winning! The world doesn't stop, you just keep going! But equally there is nothing wrong with winning either, we have a ridiculous notion on this country that we somehow ought to be ashamed to be seen to excel at something which encourages this stupid 'cool to be dim' culture in schools. Bugs the hell out of me.

MrsC, as well as agreeing with your last post, your earlier post caught my eye about parents being dissuaded against attending sports days. Not such a bad idea. DH and I are involved in our DCs' sports teams as refs / umpires. I'm constantly amazed at how many mouthy parents are there slagging off the (volunteer parent) umpires on the sidelines, whereas the kids (only 8-9) just seem to get on with it. I think the mouthy parents' children are just embarrassed.

The swimming instructor at our local pool also mentioned that most of the problems with swimming events were with parents, and that he's had to ask several parents to leave over the past year when they got abusive over some petty triviality over primary school flippaball games!!

Our old school must be really unusual - it was not cool to be dim - in fact it's the complete opposite, the kids on the low tables got called "thicko" by the kids on the high ability tables - now that's so much better than the "cool to be dim" scenario...we've really moved on in a positive way haven't we? Hurrah for competition!

I heard a funny story from a friend of mine -the school insisted that her dd took part in a cross country race - her otherwise very compliant hard working dd refused, teacher stuck her heels in and insisted, threatened to send child to the head, child said ok I'll go see the Head. Head said please do the run - child said no, after lots of threats and pleading...school had to back down, she didn't do the run. I have great admiration for that child, she learned to be assertive that day and to square up to a bully - a very, very valuable life skill....I'm guessing that's not the lesson the teacher had in mind when she went up against her pupil that day.

It is good to learn to try.

We had compulsory sports and 4 times a week with cold hockey sticks in the dark in winter was not comfortable. Glad we had to do it.

(except any parent with a child with sen can do what they wish to create environments which help rather than hinder the child.)

But other than that, yes children need to learn how to try, how to work hard - for themselves.

I think non-competetive sport can have a place at school and enable those who are less sporty to feel included. However, (and I speak as someone who was not gifted at sport)I do think schools should bring back competitive sport. Competition is healthy. We face it in all arenas in life and sport is at least fun competition. I also think children need to learn how to win and lose gracefully - to be "good sportsmen". Finally, how on earth do we expect to produce world class athletes/sports persons when children are not able to shine in sports at school? Not everyone can take their dc to after school sports clubs.

non-competitive

LeQueen - I mopletely agree with your views.

I was talking to DH about this debate last night. Your SIL is a prime example of his POV which was as a senior manager in a global company, he sees countless young graduates coming through who have learnt to always play things safe, never try too hard because you might fail and not to show any initiative because then if you get noticed, you could get the blame. My father too thinks that there is going to be a serious lack of entrepreneurs in this country in the next generation because mediocrity is positively supported in the school system.

I feel that the non-competitve sports day, which is an extension of the current ethos in state schools, (ie that teaching to the middle/lowest common denominator just to get them through tests and gain good OFSTED results) is immensely damaging to a whole generation of children, who never learn to compete - either gracefully or gracelessly , because the 'system' allows that to happen by praising everyone all the time, without encouraging people to strive to try harder, do better, achieve more etc. |But perhaps that's a whole other debate....

I was thinking about this yesterday at my son's competitive sports day. My youngest child is extremely academically gifted but absolutely useless at sports, he came last in both his races but had a huge amount of fun. My eldest son has very severe learning difficulties, yet is quite good at sports, (the fact that he's twice as tall as most kids his age give him an edge)however, despite being extremely fast, he doesn't understand the rules of most the races and ends up running in the wrong direction! Yet, he had loads of fun too.

There is nothing wrong with introducing a bit of competition in schools, teaching kids that they have to be gracious losers/winners is a valuable lesson.

Can I also point out that I have spent 10 years studying and am a massive advocate of inclusive education. Inclusive education is not about making every child equal (as in ability, not as in worthwhile) but it's about giving every child the opportunity to achieve their potential, surely kids who excel at sports deserve the opportunity to show off their skills as their peers who are good at music/art/maths etc do?!

I was a teacher - before I left it due to severe frustration at having to do things I felt were wrong - don't get me started!!! But let me give you my perspective / experience...

I agree that by their nature sports are competitive,similarly, academia and the arts are also competitive and this should be reflected in schools whilst simultaneously striving to instil a confidence in children to try and to find their own strengths. Sounds poncy but that's what teacher are paid to aim for.

However, when you have a 6'2" angry man swearing at you because the same two children have won everything you begin to wonder if its worth it.

I think it a shame that the teachers didn't contribute in your children's sports day herlady... kids always respond to that and seeing their teachers 'having a go' and getting into the spirit of the day can be real boost for the children's attitude and that all important pupil / teacher relationship!

Not a day goes by when I don't miss teaching - it's such a shame that 80% of what a teacher does has little to do with it.