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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think non competitive sports day is ridiculous and a waste of time

246 replies

PanicMode · 29/06/2010 15:42

I went to a prep school where every child's strength was encouraged - whether one's strength was academic, sporting, musical, art, drama etc, it was found and nurtured.

My children's (state) school does non competitive sports day, which I think is ridiculous and in addition is unfair on those children that excel at sport - when do they get to shine or have their potential realised? (This is not because my children are fantastic at sport btw - they really aren't!).

(And for those who are going to say if you don't like it, move to the private sector - if you'd like to pay my four sets of fees, then I'd be eternally grateful )

OP posts:
MarshaBrady · 30/06/2010 22:20

Interesting. I was academic, top of class type. But average at running to not good at all at swimming. But I don't remember ever being upset by sports day. It was a good day with friends.

BUT, but ds1 has funny knees. His running is not good, he is about to have sports day (reception). I just don't want him to come very last as it will be bad for his self-esteem I think - maybe not! I'm yet to experience it. By I would be happy for him to throw a ball or something else that is competitive instead of run in a race.

GiddyPickle · 30/06/2010 22:29

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Litchick · 30/06/2010 22:33

Exactly - where are all these kids who are devastated by coming last in the egg and spoon?
These kids need to know that it's okay to fail, the world doesn't stop turning.
Dcs school has sporting fixtures, music comps, poetry reading comps, art comps, chess tournements, selective choirs, debating comps, house point comps...God, so much to have a go at. Why does it matter if you don't win?

As long as everyone has a go, that's what's important.

kickassangel · 30/06/2010 22:33

if the school has loads of other things, like art comps etc, and it's a 'let anyone have a go who wants to' i don't think there's any harm at all.

it was the enforced EVERYONE had to be in at least 2 events, with the whole school watching, kind that seemed cruel. i mean, which kid wants to be that one that's so far behind the others they get their own (slow) handclap as they stagger towards the finish line?

i do think how kids respond will vary - dd has already decided that she's no good at art & therefore doesn't want to do it, not even colouring in. and robert winston reckons that kids respond best to praise for their effort - they know if they won easily, or not, so fake praise is worthless.

Anniebee65 · 30/06/2010 22:35

My dd is SN and I don't believe in non-competitive sports days.

However in my ds's class there is a boy with sn and he was racing with his year this year. He came a very poor last in all his races, didn't seem to be one bit bothered, but in the last race all his classmates ran with him and before the finish line they all fell back and he ran over the line as the winner.

They were all 9 yo. They had worked it out that they wanted him to get some kind of reward for all his efforts. I thought that was pretty amazing. It was like one of those lifetime movie moments, but we still all cried on the sidelines

Litchick · 30/06/2010 22:36

And yes, much of this is done in public.

No one is made to feel a failure, the fact that you took part and gave it your best is always rewarded.

Great leson - I took part. I failed. No one died.

Litchick · 30/06/2010 22:38

Annie - last year at the cross country comp, DD who always wins by miles, stopped at the line, turned back, ran to one of her mates who was struggling, and gave her a piggy back

Anniebee65 · 30/06/2010 22:46

Love it Lit!

LilyBolero · 30/06/2010 23:20

my children took part in a school music concert this week. Lots of parents went. My children did really well. But the non-musical children weren't handed an instrument and asked to play so that they could learn that everyone isn't good at everything.

And Lequeen, perhaps if you hadn't been told you were rubbish at maths, then you might have clicked with it later and found you were actually good at it, as has happened with ds1.

CarmenSanDiego · 01/07/2010 00:51

So... even if you know you're appalling at something, you should be made to not only do it but /compete/ against others who are far above your skill level, with dozens of other people watching, just so you can experience inevitable defeat and give those whose skills are superior the glory they 'rightly deserve'.

No problem with sports day. No problem with children doing physical education. But school should be about children exploring and improving their own abilities rather than comparing them to others. Pointless activity.

thumbwitch · 01/07/2010 02:10

oh Anniebee - that made me go all sniffly! How lovely of them all. And presumably that moment would never have occurred in a non-competitive situation.

I can't remember being forced to take part in Sports Day. We must have had them - our Junior School had the 4-house system so we probably competed for house points; but my senior school was a very competitive, sport and academic, school - I think we must have been either found a sport that we could do something with, or allowed to sit it out. There was no ritual humiliation that I remember - although I still thank my lucky stars that cross country never seemed to feature anywhere...

nooka · 01/07/2010 03:11

I think that life is tough so get over it attitude sucks big time. Children who repeatedly fail at things generally don't get better, they more frequently give up. the whole school is reparation for life things is really overplayed. Wear school uniform because you might have to war it for work. Compete at sports because you might have to compete at work etc.

I was terrible at sports, opted out as much as possible (I didn't want to "have a go" at being humiliated - why on earth would that have been good for me?) and only as an adult found that there were some sports I was actually quite good at (just nothing involving running or balls). So I didn't choose a carer that involved physical skills.

I really dislike wearing uniform. So I chose a job that didn't require it.

The child that has a talent in building Eiffel towers out of paper clips should be directed to a creative career where their skills are valued.

In any case sporty children have a huge advantage at school, frequently being the most popular and having a big confidence advantage over others. I really don't think these are very hard done by children.

TheBolter · 01/07/2010 07:23

Haven't read all the thread, but I agree with the OP.

My dds go to a (state) school with a non-competitive sports day and they all look bored shitless lining up in their teams.

Then they do races at the end and the literally come alive, so much cheering etc... it's the one bit my dds look forward to.

I will never forget winning a trophy at my (private school) sports day, it had been the proudest moment of my life to get that.

sarah293 · 01/07/2010 07:47

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gorionine · 01/07/2010 07:51

Thinking about it from a different perspective, for the ones who are good at sport and maybe only at sport, they get 1 day in the year to show it off, not too much to ask is it? as opposed to spelling test every week...

sarah293 · 01/07/2010 07:53

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TheBolter · 01/07/2010 07:56

Riven, it is also a place where (I hope) our children will learn to socialise, respect authority, understand their strengths (and weaknesses), gain self-discipline through study, and eventually come out with a few qualifications.

It is far more than a 'call centre' environment and it's sad that you see it thus.

gorionine · 01/07/2010 07:59

I have never seen children who win a race in sports day being paraded in fron of the class either.

gorionine · 01/07/2010 08:04

At one sports day DS3 weed on himself as the teacher was to buisy to take him to the loo and could not ask me to take him because "it would not have been fair on the children whose parents had not come to see them compete to see that his mum was there for him" (I swear that is the excuse she gave me when I complained to her about it!) Wanting eveyone to have the same all time did backfire quite a bit on that instance!

sarah293 · 01/07/2010 08:04

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Orangerie · 01/07/2010 08:06

I will go as far as saying that sports days are a waste of time, competitive or not.

I like the idea of competing for a house, though. That would make it interesting... as for the rest, they remarkably dull.

gorionine · 01/07/2010 08:18

That is really horrible Riven, I do agree with you and there is ablolutely no excuse whatsoever for bullying of the sort happening with the blessing of the school staff. But it not right either to "forbid" rejoycing at having won something. Being proud of one self should not = bullying . I do not like much the idea of all or nothing that goes into exteems like losers should be bullied or winners should just pretent they have not won. Surely there has to be a middle ground?

sarah293 · 01/07/2010 08:23

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/07/2010 08:27

YABU, my DDs nursery had a "sports day" where they just charged about, all got a big cheer, and a medal with "winner" on it, even DD who didn't even take part and can't really run, it was lovely.

Litchick · 01/07/2010 08:35

It works well Orange.
Everyone gets at least a point for taking part on a race/event so pupils who don't win are still making a massive contribution - sometimes there's only one point in it, so coming last in high jump migh be the decider!!!
Thw winners of each race get more points for their house - but not a seperate award. It's emough for them to know they won, I think.

As the day wears on the kids get more excited. I often wonder if the scoring might be fiddled to make it a tight finish