to think non competitive sports day is ridiculous and a waste of time

[PanicMode]

I went to a prep school where every child's strength was encouraged - whether one's strength was academic, sporting, musical, art, drama etc, it was found and nurtured.

My children's (state) school does non competitive sports day, which I think is ridiculous and in addition is unfair on those children that excel at sport - when do they get to shine or have their potential realised? (This is not because my children are fantastic at sport btw - they really aren't!).

(And for those who are going to say if you don't like it, move to the private sector - if you'd like to pay my four sets of fees, then I'd be eternally grateful )

[Mum72]

Oh this is one of my pet hates in life.

I humiliated myself by cheering my DD (who is uber crap at sport) on at her last school sports day totally oblivious it was a non competetive event.
The head told me off personally .

IMO it made the whole event kind of pointless. I can watch my DC play tennis, catch bean bags and run against each other/other kids any afternoon we have a family outing to the park - why did I need to watch them do it at school??

In my opinion it was such a stupid idea i stopped cheering on and started calling out "Don't run too fast, you may overtake someone and hurt their feelings"!!

My kids are not children that excel in anything. They are middle of the road kids. So I say this as a parent who's DC have rarely (if ever) won anything but IMO my DC have to learn that life can be tough and shit and sometimes people are better than them at different things! Would much much rather they learnt that at primary school age when I can hug them, wipe away their tears and offer words of real comfort instead of when they are young adults and the reality is slapping them accross the face for the first time in their lives!!

[upahill]

A bit pointless calling it a sports day.
Might as well be called a games morning.
DS2 ( who is average at sports ) thinks they are pointless.

[PanicMode]

Riven - surely PE is physical EDUCATION?!

Do your school not have musical recitals, plays, Nativities, school assemblies etc? All of which will showcase the children who are the best musicians, thespians, readers etc?

I also agree with Mum72 - it's a horribly competitive world out there, and teaching them that everyone is the same is a disservice. I'm not advocating (as happened to me) having your academic position read out in the class every week - that was humiliating for some - but surely there is a balance?

[racmac]

My DS struggles with everything academic - sports is the only thing he excels at - it breaks my heart to hear him coming home from school tellin gme he is rubbish at english, rubbish at Maths, finds this too hard and that too hard but he runs a race or plays football or any other sport and wins against other boys he comes home full of life and telling me how good he is.

Take away the sports what is he left with ?

He already does competitive sports outside of school and this helps but he is always comparing himself to his school peers

[haggisaggis]

Well my dyslexic, dyspraxic dd is also fairly useless at sport - so would not "shine" at sports day either. OUr school does the team thing in house group doing various things around the field and then races by age group - all for house points - so there is some competition. (and the inter-house rivalry is fairly intense so there's a fair bit of competition there also)

[upahill]

I don't think we are humilating the crap out of children though. Christ the school would be sued to bits if someones darling was upset for a moment!

When DS1 started school they were still having competive sports. He came last in every race but had the biggest grin ever. The other kids ran their hardest and tried their best to win. Well done them I say. At home later we asked him the names of kids who had won and did he have fun and so on.

DS2 tried his best to win a prize for a competition for drawing in his class. He didn't get it. Poor child he was so humilated (not- he got over it in a second!)

[racmac]

Riven - stop the only stuff he is good at?

[LouIsWaltzingMatilda]

Life is a competition. You will win and lose at things your entire life. Everyone is not equal. If we were life would be boring and no advances would be made.
We are creating a generation where they are never told no, never losing at anything,etc. A little of bit of competition is good for you.
Academics win scolarships, musicians win esteddifords (yes I know it is spelt incorrectly), artists win prizes too.

[thumbwitch]

Why can't they have a mix of competitive stuff and fun stuff? Surely that would be more inclusive? Although I don't subscribe to this idea that everyone should get some kind of award - bugger that. Only the top 3 or 4 should get an award - otherwise what is there to aim for?

But - as with everything in life - some children will respond better to the idea of winning an award than others. Some will take failure harder than others. But these are life lessons that should be taught - as opposed to the sense of entitlement that so many "yoof" seem to have now.

[TheCrackFox]

DS's school was put into teams that included all the age groups. The best team won, which IMO is far better.

When I was at school it was the same 2 or 3 children who won everything. The message I learnt was that there was no point in even trying.

[frogetyfrog]

I totally agree that it is pointless having a non competitive sports day. My dds will never win cups for any of the academic subjects which are rewarded each term but happen to be good at sports. I would love the opportunity for them to be good at something rather than grouped into huge teams.

[frogetyfrog]

Life is competitive - I think children should realise at an early age that they cant be good at everything. As long as the sports day has a range of events, all children would have the opportunity to be ok at it, if not great.

Remove competition and all the kids probably dont try particularly hard.

[TheCrackFox]

I don't buy all this bull crap that competitive sports translates into real life. Most children have worked out, before they start school, that life isn't fair.

[frogetyfrog]

Life is competitive whether we like it or not. For example we are all judged on appearance before anything else as soon as somebody see us (which does me no good whatsoever!). Our accent and voice can also be subconsiously judged and certain accents do better at interviews etc.

Its all a shame as I dont fair well on looks or accent but true. Even the parents at school are competitive over their darlings! People at my work are secretly competitive as I suspect most work places are.

Nobody can be good at everything - they wont be the best looking, the cleverest, the nicest, the best singer, the most popular girl in class etc. So imo best to learn that early in life then it will be less of a shock.

[MorrisZapp]

Of course life is competitive. You apply for a job, you don't get it - somebody else does.

You ask for promotion - ditto.

You fancy a bloke - he doesn't fancy you, he prefers your friend.

In real life, there isn't a benevolent force looking out to make sure that your feelings are never hurt and that you never have to feel the pain of losing at something.

I was utterly crap at all practical and physical skills when at school, I didn't win a race or indeed even bother trying to. But I wasn't offended that good athletes existed - or won races.

I was better at them at some stuff, or in some cases no stuff, but I was able to accept that we're all different.

Kids compete naturally all the time anyway - we used to race to eat all our peas, or race to cuddle the cat, or see who could hold their breath the longest etc, kids have always done this.

[TheCrackFox]

Yes, life is competitive but you don't have everyone cheering you on and handing out medals. You either get that promotion (or whatever) or you don't.

[MorrisZapp]

The promotion is the medal.

Adults don't want medals, they want other kinds of recognition.

[TheCrackFox]

What about the cheering adults then?

[marmitetoast]

If your child was really struggling with spelling or maths would you be happy for them to be made to take part in a spelling or maths competition on stage, in front of the rest of the school and all the parents, or might that be a bit stressful and mean? If you think it would be fine and character building, then competitive sports day is fair enough.