to be a tad suspicious?

[tortoisehellOstrich]

DP has "gone hiking in a national park with a colleague for the weekend" after a conference. The national park is rather remote, and the accommodation apparently doesn't have wifi. So I accepted that there would be no contact from Friday morning until they returned to the airport Monday night.

Except Google's wondrous data-dribbling abilities have just informed me (via a GPS-driven automatic facebook update of the colleague) that the colleague returned to London on Friday.

I was already a bit about the lack of wifi meaning no contact because of mega-expensive overseas data download costs, since surely a computer geek and his colleague know how to stop their googlephones automatically syncing diaries etc when they turn the phone on to send a text?

Email and text haven't been answered. DP's phone is clearly in the USA.

i guess I should resist temptation to ring up the colleague and ask what the hell is going on?

I'd ring him, it would hardly be out of line, you thought he was overseas with your DP and suddenly he isn't!

oh dear

YANBU. More than a tad suspicious.

Am really sorry to her that he has lie to you. Upon his return you need to sit him down and tell him that you know he lied. Give him hell until you get the truth out of him. You don't deserve to be taken for a fool .

is it not out of line? i actually don't know what to think.

Previous relationship (ended 7 years ago) was full of episodes like this. If i had listened to suspicions the first time around instead of waiting for the 350th time, it would have been a good idea.

There have been a few little things in this relationship (5 years) that haven't added up, but I have always put them down to paranoia left over from previous horrid relationship.

So I don't want to sound like a suspicious harridan. Particularly not dragging in a nice colleague if all it is is unfounded suspicion.

But I don't want to be taken for a ride either.

It could be that the colleague had to return home unexpectedly?

Surely your dp knows you could check the colleagues face book?

I d ring the colleague.

Just give colleagu a ring and ask if everything is alright, anything you can do to help concerning call as he has come back early is there anything wrong???
His reply will help.

colleague put the phone down on me after I'd said "Hi, ..., you're back early".

hmm

female or male colleague?

oh crap tortoise, doesn't sound good.

Have you any specific suspicians... OW, gambling (you said USA so i'm thinking casinos), just generally being a jackass and not wanting to be at home with his family?

OK - is there any reason why the colleague would do this? Do you have any history which would make this a typical response to you phoning? Sorry to ask, but if you and the colleague have had some argument or situation in the past that would explain it then it migh not be connected to this.

Other than that, the only explanation I can think of is that they are mightily embarassed because they know they've blown the alibi!

No history with (male) colleague. Embarrassment over blowing alibi seems likely under the circumstances.

No specific suspicions. definitely not gambling.

Lord almighty.

Have to go out now, but thanks for the replies.

Are you sure he is in the USA still? Maybe the colleague put the phone down as dp is with them?

oh dear. un-MN hugs for you. hope you can find out the truth

does anyone out there have a phone running android and know about the automatic sync thing - is it really impossible to turn off?

An affair? Sorry but I have to ask.

Text him and ask what is up. And remember some times people just lie and lie and lie.

Sounds suspicious, doesn't it?

Sounds like colleague panicked. If you call back he'll probably have spoken to your partner and come up with a story. Including how he 'accidentally' pressed a button on his phone and it cut you off.

Of course, it's all assumptions, but if the colleague is covering for him, how awful, I mean to go to your colleage and get him to cover for you! What a lack of respect that in itself is.

If that's what's going on of course.

The colleague will have made contact with your DP and told him that you know that he is back in the UK.

He's not got a day and a half to dream up his excuses.

I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope I'm wrong - but it sounds as though he's cheating.

sorry - should read he's NOW got a day...

If he is having an affair, and he has got the colleague to cover for him - don't be surprised if he is angry with you when he gets home. He may say you have embarrassed him, you are paranoid, you have caused trouble... in short - attack is the best form of defence.

I 2nd what Hecate has said. Don't fall for any of that crap.

The worst thing now though(if the colleague is/was covering), is that he will now phone your Dp and warn him so that if there is anything going on, Dp can work out a cover story...In do hope it's innocent, but it doesn't sound good.

IIRC US National Parks require you to fill in a form on arrival detailing how long you will be camping in the park for and an itinery of where you will be day by day.

In your position I would get in touch with the park rangers. Mention that you haven't heard from your husband and you have reason to believe his hiking partner isn't with him. They should be able to tell you if he arrived in the park or not.

Hopefully this is just a simple misunderstanding.

is it possible that he had a big falling out with the colleague, a REALLY big one and the colleague came home early, then when you called the colleague thought you were going to have a go on DPs behalf?

now I've typed it it doesn't seem so likely, its not so easy to get last min transatlantic flights is it?