Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a tad suspicious?

214 replies

tortoisehellOstrich · 27/06/2010 12:16

DP has "gone hiking in a national park with a colleague for the weekend" after a conference. The national park is rather remote, and the accommodation apparently doesn't have wifi. So I accepted that there would be no contact from Friday morning until they returned to the airport Monday night.

Except Google's wondrous data-dribbling abilities have just informed me (via a GPS-driven automatic facebook update of the colleague) that the colleague returned to London on Friday.

I was already a bit about the lack of wifi meaning no contact because of mega-expensive overseas data download costs, since surely a computer geek and his colleague know how to stop their googlephones automatically syncing diaries etc when they turn the phone on to send a text?

Email and text haven't been answered. DP's phone is clearly in the USA.

i guess I should resist temptation to ring up the colleague and ask what the hell is going on?

OP posts:
victoriascrumptious · 07/07/2010 20:34

Oh come on! Not everyone reacts the same. Cut her some slack. She's British FFS not some exile from the Springer Show

HecateQueenOfWitches · 08/07/2010 15:23

Well, could be a wind up.

Or it could be that she has found out where her husband was, and it's not good news and she hasn't given mumsnet a single thought!

not all of us think "ah, I must tell mumsnet" when shit happens, even if we've been chatting about it.

I mean, I do, but I have been told that not everyone's life revolves around mumsnet. I don't understand such kind of people, something terrible happens in 'r'l and you don't rush to the pc? [boggle]

rewardgirl · 08/07/2010 22:13

Where IS she?? Gaaaa....

NormaSknockers · 08/07/2010 22:19

If it's a wind up surely there's better things to use as a wind up?

katkit · 11/07/2010 19:45

bumppppppppppp

AnyFucker · 11/07/2010 19:48

Leave it folks

Nothing to see here

Maybe a wind-up.

Maybe it turned out OK and she is embarassed to have started this.

Maybe she has been taken for a complete and...ditto (that would be my bet, if I were a betting person...)

She will come back if she wants to.

bintofbohemia · 11/07/2010 20:01

Someone did get eaten by a bear in a national park last week?

missjellycat · 11/07/2010 20:29

I'm newish on MN, following this thread is v sad. Wondering if it's the case that private messaging the OP will send her an email and alert her to the concern of everyone here? If she's new to MN it might come as a surprise that so many users are nosy concerned and want to support her. If someone more tech-savvy than me would know?

mumbar · 12/07/2010 07:46

the man was eaten by a bear a week or so before this thread to perhaps a fab wind up. Hope not as we've all been sucked in if so - but brilliant and clever if it is!!!

Hopin op ok and dp ok too.

ChippingIn · 12/07/2010 08:12

I really should read the last page of threads before wading through 8 pages....

Tortoiseonahalfshell - stupidly I thought it was you (really do need to pay more attention at times!!), so pleased to hear it isn't!!

brownhorse · 12/07/2010 09:59

He probably just wants to have fun and get a bit pi**ed without you. Are you always this paraniod?

suitejudyblue · 15/07/2010 12:33

brownhorse - are you joking ? Staying out later than he said would be one thing this would appear to be something very different
tortoiseshellostrich - did he get back safely ?

HalfTermHero · 15/07/2010 13:45

Oh do come back and tell us what happened, OP! You can't just drag us into all this then hang us out to dry. I want to know that your bastard husband got his and that you have now left him to set up home with a 23 yr old lad who looks like Beckham xx

PhoenixReborn · 15/07/2010 14:05

Hope its all ok

Marjee · 15/07/2010 15:23

I keep seeing this thread come back up and always think it means tortoise has come back with an update! I don't think shes coming back

gerontius · 15/07/2010 15:29

I think I've seen her on another thread today?

nikkidale · 15/07/2010 15:54

Bump? I am well intrigued

ISDP · 15/07/2010 16:38

Though this looks like an almighty fuckup to cover up for your other half's cheating.

I would not use his reaction as an indicator. (i.e. if he is angry, then he definitely has something to hide). If you are as or more paranoid than my girlfriend I will tell you right now that the whole questioning thing is fucking annoying. And when I get questioned (even half jokingly) on something that doesn't quite add up in my story I get annoyed and aggressive (because it happens so regularly it's not amusing anymore, it's tiresome and feels like a chore oh and totally unnecessary), because 10 times out of 10 that something was either me failing to communicate my plans in enough detail or her misunderstanding what I meant. I thought it was cute at first that she is a bit insecure about losing me but if anything the questioning has only made it more likely to happen if anything.

Personally, I wouldn't have called his colleague and waited for the boyfriend's return then said nothing about my suspisions but gave him a couple of chances to volunteer the details of the trip and any changes to the original plan.

Only then would I have given up my advantage of intel I had gathered on facebook.

Good luck anyway.

suitejudyblue · 15/07/2010 17:55

ISDP - its certainly very interesting to hear the male perspective on this.
IME a series of things which "don't quite add up" usually mean that there is something going on, you only need to read the many relationship threads.
And also very interesting that your girlfriend's questions are likely to be the very catalyst to you cheating on her.
I don't think the OP is unreasonable to be concerned about her DP as he was 1000s of miles away and not easily contactable.

ISDP · 15/07/2010 18:59

Sorry, i didn't mean that it would be the catalyst to cheating, I meant that it is not at all likely that the questioning will be of any benefit and if anything will only sour the relationship.

But the things I talk about in my relationship are very minor compared to what is being dealt with here. It is not impossible for there to have been a (usually simple one too) reasonable explanation, but I think it is unlikely.

All the men I know and myself included are atually rather basic creatures and thus try to avoid elaborate stories (the more components in a device the more to go wrong, same goes for constructing lies). So in order for us to be motivated to go through so much effort of making up the "no wifi" crap and getting th ecolleague to cover, the prize must be high value. It may not always be another woman, but whatever it is, - it's unlikely to be good for the original poster.

Let's hope it's something relatively harmless like nicking £2000 from te savings account to rent a car of his dreams for the weekend or something

Lucy83 · 18/07/2010 16:18

bump

Ladyanonymous · 18/07/2010 16:21

Never question a man in regards to his ability/willingness to be faithful.

If he is going to cheat he'll cheat whatever - nothing you can do to stop him.

piratecat · 18/07/2010 16:27

oh! i thought there was going to be news from the op.
bah.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 18/07/2010 16:29

oh I don't know. In one of my crappy magazines this week there was a woman who put her cheating bastard under house arrest! He was only allowed out when she was with him.

I mean, he agreed to those terms in order for her to remain in a relationship with him, so it's not like she chained him to a radiator, but even so, it's a bit extreme!

coventgarden · 18/07/2010 16:50

I think that it is extremely frustrating when you have followed a thread to then never hear what happens (ShockAndAwe anyone??) but while MN is entertaining people's lives are not there for our entertainment and we just have to accept it if the OP never comes back and updates.

I totally get the concern for the OP though, I just think this will be another thread we never hear the outcome of.

Would be nice if she came back and said she doesn't want to discuss it but is okay though. Manners, and all that.