I'm not against working Mums but this is going too far.

[Intefering]

Name changed regular.

A friend of mine has 3 young children with a partner in the military. He is due to leave in 3 or 4 years time I think.

Said friend has told me that she will be re-joining the Navy when her youngest starts reception in 2 years time, several reasons why, money issues, she's worried that after 8 years being a SAHM she will be unemployable, she loves the Navy and nothing else career wise interests her.

AIBU to suggest that this is a ridiculous idea?! I doubt she's considered all the time away from her DC, how her DH will cope picking up the slack at home on his own. Yes she may have loved the Navy but that's behind her and she should concentrate on her responsibilities as a wife and mother.

I'm trying to advise her as her friend but I can't see past her incredible selfishness, how can she have all these kids just to abandon them? She's worried that in 18 years time when all the kids have left home she'll be in a miserable job having watched life pass her by, I really want to tell her that she should of thought of that before getting pregnant.

AIBU and if I am can someone tell me how this will work because I really can't see it.

Hear Hear LadyBiscuit.

I don't recall seeing any spiteful threads started specifically with the aim of denigrating SAHMs, so you have to ask, why do some SAHMs do it to WOHMs? I agree it's a very small number, but it suggests that they aren't as secure in their choice as they'd like to believe.

On some of the other sections, eg 'Going back to work', you see genuine threads started by women who are perhaps anxious about returning to work, and wondering whether they will cope, and equally, you get threads from women who are anxious about giving up a much loved job because of childcare costs etc, and they are worried that they'll be bored or miserable at home. That's different - they are genuinely looking for advice and support.

But a thread on AIBU simply to denigrate women who are doing something different to you? It's simply spiteful, envious shit stirring - and people usually do that when they don't have enough positive things happening in their life to focus on.

OP, You are of course being totally and completely unreasonable. But, you knew that before you posted or you would not have chosen to rename yourself "interfering".

If you want to sacrifice the whole rest of your life for your role of mother, that is your perogative. To expect eeveryone else to do the same is closed minded and sexist.

Women are people too, you know. And they are just as capable of haveing careers and being parents at the same time as men are. The glass ceiling exists because of bigoted views like yours.

Furthermore, you have said that her place is in the home because she is a women, because it natural, and few other rediculous statements. You have even broadeded you disapproval to airhostesses and business women who go away for a week at a time. But, you have failed to consider that these statements are not indisputed facts. Please show me some proof that men are less suited to staying at home with their children than mothers are. Or even that full time school children would need either parent sitting at home whilst they are at school. Surely the dad could have a job where he comes home in the evening.

Miaow miaow miaow! This is so competitive. At the end of the day we all make choices many of which are determined by circumstance. Live and let live there is no right way to parent kids or any one formula for self fulfillment. I thought op was bu but people are laying it on too thick now!

'I thought op was bu'

I still do. Bloody bonkers in fact.

PMSL Violet

The only reason people are laying it on a bit thick is the OP is an interfering, sanctimonious, sexist, miserable old relic from the dark ages.

And a total twunt.

Snobear I love you!

Every time this thread reaches the bottom of the page, you bump it up again with some fan-fucking-tastic comment!

well you clearly have no idea how the navy work - overseas postings are much less usual then a posting on land, so she will not be 'leaving' her kids.

And of course there is always the subsidised boarding school option

Aw jeez, thanks violethill...
I'm normally more eloquent but can't be bothered wasting my "big words" on this asshole.

got asked "Scottishmummy why did you have children?" kerching!triple mn points.clichétastic top of the pops

well to accessorise of course!alice temperley maternity is so lush.i couldn't resist.matched my bugaboo loverly

Scottishmummy, you're fantastic!

(I have a bugaboo and a full time job, too)

Can we all join in with sarcastic twatty comments, like kerching there goes the 'I find babies soooo boring', or 'I feel my job is my identity'.....

haha Thiisthatvilewoman (is that you OP back again???)

I've been a SAHM when all 3 of my DS's were babies - and I DO find babies soooooooooo boring, incredibly boring actually

Yawn....

yes - that's it exactly. So much more interesting and fun once they're walking/talking

"I don't recall seeing any spiteful threads started specifically with the aim of denigrating SAHMs, so you have to ask, why do some SAHMs do it to WOHMs? I agree it's a very small number, but it suggests that they aren't as secure in their choice as they'd like to believe." VH

Maybe you haven't read so many VH.

have to agree with VH - there may have been a handful, but nothing like as many as the ones like this one

toccata, you may be a resident MN addict, but you're not the only one. You are talking nonsense.

oh come on - I could link to to at least 5 or 6 WOHM bashing threads in the last week or so, without even searching, can't remember the last time I saw a thread that was started to denigrate SAHM's.

Not a resident MN addict and not planning on becoming one either but I do agree with Tocca

it may well crop up in threads, but rarely do you see a thread saying "I don't understand why women have children if they're going to stay at home with them all the time"

Unfortunately people are so ready to charge into a SAHM/WOHM debate that even the most outlandish career driven/holiday needing/sabatical attending gets derailed by over zealous posters crapping on about the right to work, no affect on children blah blah blah.

I could start a thread "DH won't let me go to Africa for three years with no contact with the dcs that my boss recommends...AIBU to just go?"

or

"My neighbours both work in commercial law, their dcs don't see them during the week and at the weekend they both play golf and only see their dts aged 18months for three hours a week"

or

After spending four years at home with my dcs, whilst my dh was in the Arctic, I am trekking round Europe for five months and leaving them with my parents (who they've met twice) and my DH that will have got back the week before....my SIL thinks I shouldn't go, WWYD?

Its up to her IMHO i think. Surely as one post said there are plenty of land based jobs in the navy. She doesnt have to go away to sea for months on end. They will take her family situation into concideration , if she wishes, and ensure her work means she is home a lot. In other words every night ? Maybe away for a couple of months/weeks per year ??

whom