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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

606 replies

ApocalypseCheese · 23/06/2010 17:31

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

OP posts:
Dominique07 · 23/06/2010 17:34

Who is meant to meet her off the bus?

EvilTwins · 23/06/2010 17:37

Sorry, but YABU. It's hardly the school's fault that the bus was quiet and so she got home earlier than expected. I expect the roads were a bit quieter than usual too, what with everyone being in front of a TV somewhere.

If her statement covers her from the moment she leaves home, to the moment she gets home, the only person at fault is the person who is responsible for her when she IS at home.

Heads will roll in the morning eh? Good luck with that one.

diamondsandtiaras · 23/06/2010 17:40

To be fair though, shouldn't whoever dropped her home have made sure there was someone there? Wouldn't they normally expect a parent to meet the child off the bus? How much earlier was she than usual?

PortiaNovmerriment · 23/06/2010 17:40

My dd gets transport home, and you just have to make sure that a responsible adult is there. How much earlier than usual was she home?

compo · 23/06/2010 17:40

You've lost your front door key so your dp just left it open ?

msrisotto · 23/06/2010 17:41

Before you have a go at them, remember that you weren't home when school finished.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 23/06/2010 17:42

She has a door to door service, I was home by 3.10, she is usually dropped off at 3.20. How the hell am I responsible for dd being dropped off early and her escort not checking there was an adult in the home ??!!

Should have posted this in special needs, usually find there are a few more braincells in there

OP posts:
SagacityNell · 23/06/2010 17:42

It's not their fault that the bus was quieter. Nor is it their responsibility to make sure there was someone in to meet her. That would be yours - the parent i am assuming?

squashimodo · 23/06/2010 17:43

That is terrible, you are definitely not being unreasonable.
If there is no-one to meet my son of the bus he goes to an after school club for sn kids, and I would go there to collect him.
She should not have been just dropped off like that, I would be livid, if I were you!
You poor dd

runnybottom · 23/06/2010 17:44

The doesn't make it any less bitchy, y'know.
You obviously did post in the wrong place, since you have no intention of listening to anyone who says YABU.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 23/06/2010 17:44

Yabu

her statement covers her until she gets home
she was home
you weren't

how much earlier than usual?
Do you not usually meet her off the bus?

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 23/06/2010 17:44

I always answer the door, take her book etc.

OP posts:
diddl · 23/06/2010 17:45

Perhaps the unlocked door made them think someone was home?

Was the escort supposed to wait with her then, therefore preventing everyone else on the bus from getting home?

diamondsandtiaras · 23/06/2010 17:45

TBH I think you were cutting it a bit fine only arriving home 10 mins before she usually gets home........what if some kids were off sick or the driver took a different route etc etc.

I do agree that the escort should have made sure there was someone home though and that you should complain.

squashimodo · 23/06/2010 17:46

If my son's bus is coming earlier than expected, I am notified.

CarGirl · 23/06/2010 17:46

How did the bus not know that her parent hadn't been in an accident/killed/delayed for 2 hours?

How would you feel if your dcs school let your children go home because you didn't turn up to collect them under the age of 7?

EvilTwins · 23/06/2010 17:46

OP - "usually find there are a few more braincells in there" How fucking rude. I'm making a wild stab in the dark here, but am guessing that you're actually angry becuase you realise you are at fault. Your door was left open? You weren't there to meet you child from the bus? Um. Can't see that there is anyone else to blame.

And you shouldn't have posted in AIBU if you wanted everyone to agree with you.

5inthebackofthenet · 23/06/2010 17:46

YANBU, I'd be steaming!

The transport people are at fault though, not the school. They should have made sure there was someone in for your DD.

And I don't think you're in the wrong for not being in, DS2 used to get dropped off the same time every day whn he got transport.

toccatanfudge · 23/06/2010 17:47

I guess they assumed that as she was able to go into the (unlocked) door and into the house that someone was home (on the loo/in the shower/in the garden)

They didn't drop her off before the time school finishes did they?

I can see you're upset, but I do think YABU if you weren't there.......especially as she was obviously able to get into the house which would rather indicate to most people that someone is there.

I am also rather that you left the front door unlocked because you've lost your key!

bibbitybobbityhat · 23/06/2010 17:47

Yanbu! Yanbu AT ALL! You were at home in plenty of time for the usual drop off.

Do they usually check to see that someone meets her at the door or off the bus? If so, then yes I think heads should roll. If not, cut them a little slack and learn from the experience (ie. when there is NO traffic on the roads, dd will be home from school earlier).

shockers · 23/06/2010 17:48

I would be really annoyed that the escort hadn't waited for confirmation that someone was in. DD has started to get off her bus by herself but I always go to the window or door to let them know I'm there. If, for some reason I wasn't, they would take her to the children's centre (this has never happened!)

SagacityNell · 23/06/2010 17:48

A few more braincells = more sympathy in this case i think EvilTwins.

And the makes it even bitchier.

toccatanfudge · 23/06/2010 17:49

shockers - but if a child hasn't got their own key, and is able to get into the house wouldn't that (normally( indicate that someone is there??

Maybe I'm just a little blonde.......but if I saw someone walked through an already unlocked door I would think that someone else was in the house.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 23/06/2010 17:50

Gosh, how rude you are

you were cutting it fine
you should get home at least 20 minutes before she is expected

and you left the door open
obviously they would assume you were in

what a ridiculous thing to do

but as a parent of an nt child I suppose my braincells don't make the grade

PortiaNovmerriment · 23/06/2010 17:50

I don't think that complaining will get you anywhere tbh- the buck stops with you really, and with the door being open it was a reasonable assumption on their part that an adult was home, especially as you usually are.

I get the same service that you do, and make sure I'm home half an hour before she is due home. Equally I try to be ready earlier than they arrive in the morning because pick-ups and drop-offs aren't timetabled like buses, they just go by an estimate.

Is it possible that you are actually cross with yourself for not anticipating that times may vary slightly with the football going on today, and projecting a bit?

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