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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

606 replies

ApocalypseCheese · 23/06/2010 17:31

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

OP posts:
bourboncreme · 23/06/2010 18:18

She may have been in but have fallen down stairs or be unconscious or anything,the point is that the statement says that the OPs DD must be handed over to a responsible adult the carer has to check that there is one before she leaves the child ,it is different from an nt child although I would expect the same for a 7 year old nt child actually.You can never just assume things will be OK ,if you could the child would not have the statement

NarkyPuffin · 23/06/2010 18:18

YANBU. Some of the responses here are utterly fuckwittish.

"be grateful your dc gets a bespoke door to door service!"

wannaBe · 23/06/2010 18:20

immortal but this is a child with sn who is not supposed to be left unsupervised as per her statement.

As someone down the thread said, if a parent didn't turn up to school to pick up their child would it be ok for the school to just let the child go home anyway? I think not.

And on this occasion it was a child whose sn appears to be such that she was unlikely to come to signifficant harm. But what about next time.

I have a friend whose ds is severely autistic - non-verbal and requires permanent supervision. If an escort dropped him at home and just left him there without seeing the parent (there's no way my friend would not be there but ykwim) the potential consequences don't bear thinking about as he just has no concept of danger.

This time nothing happened, but what about if there's a next time, with a child with more severe needs? What then?

This really isn't black and white and there is fault on both sides.

bullet234 · 23/06/2010 18:21

Your housing and bus drop off situation is exactly the same as mine for Ds2's bus dropping him off at lunchtime.
For all I know you might be the household who's child is dropped off by another bus a little further up from where we live.

agedknees · 23/06/2010 18:21

I think the OP is still in shock and a bit panicy (sp) that her daughter was left alone. She has probably run a hundred bad scenarios through her head about what could have happened so I think we should cut her some slack here.

SoupDragon · 23/06/2010 18:21

YANBU. they are meant to hand her over to a responsible adult, not just turf her off the bus.

bullet234 · 23/06/2010 18:21

whose, obviously.

rubbersoul · 23/06/2010 18:22

The escort should have made sure you were in the house before leaving your daughter.

Simple.

PixieOnaLeaf · 23/06/2010 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TealAndBiscuit · 23/06/2010 18:23

Is there any chance your child was 'handed over' to one of the builders?

SoupDragon · 23/06/2010 18:23

i can't believe how rude some of you have been.

immortalbeloved · 23/06/2010 18:24

I don't think the unconscious thing really applies, yes it could happen, but it could also happen ten minutes after drop off, but I'm sure that'd be someone elses fault too

wannaBe · 23/06/2010 18:24

"Just be grateful your dc gets a bespoke door to
door service!" alouiseg perhaps you're the one who should be grateful your child doesn't need a door to door service!

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 23/06/2010 18:24

I havent been bitchy, the braincells comment was a bit childish ad i've said leaving door open probably wasnt the best idea but the fact are a swapover of care is just that, this has never happened before, I have never been late before and understandably I am concerned.

No, I won't be rude or screechy, however this is the interweb and a place of venting.

Yes giveitago dd is fine thank you.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 23/06/2010 18:24

YANBU.

But you need to get home sooner.

And lock your door

PixieOnaLeaf · 23/06/2010 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TealAndBiscuit · 23/06/2010 18:24

Whoops should've refreshed before posting

thumbwitch · 23/06/2010 18:25

Um, handing Apocalypse's DD over to a random bloke in the house would possibly count as even worse than letting her go in by herself, wouldn't it?

shockers · 23/06/2010 18:26

NarkyPuffin, I though that was a bit too.

2shoes · 23/06/2010 18:26

yanbu
dd's escourt wouldn't even hand over to ds, said he had to be over 18(he is now)
I would complain to the bus people(or ring school transport as my bus company are arses)

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 23/06/2010 18:26

'As someone down the thread said, if a parent didn't turn up to school to pick up their child would it be ok for the school to just let the child go home anyway? I think not.'

once again, they didn't just let the child go home alone

they dropped her at her house and watched her go in through the unlocked front door

2shoes · 23/06/2010 18:27

By Alouiseg Wed 23-Jun-10 18:15:32
Not only are you being unreasonable you are being very rude to the people telling you so on this thread. Just be grateful your dc gets a bespoke door to door service!

yes I am sure the op is really gratefull that her dc is disabled.

Alouiseg · 23/06/2010 18:27

NarkyPuffin Objection. It is op's responsibility to meet her child in good time from the transport provider.

Not only was op not there to meet her responsibilities she is pinning blame on the transport provider not to mention leaving her front door open.

How many countries do you think would provide this level of service??? Yet op's obvious sense of entitlement means she thinks she can control the traffic flow on any given day. I am, once again astounded by peoples rights without responsibilities.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheese · 23/06/2010 18:29

Pixie, I havent been nasty, I have tried to explain the way things work, the 'braincells' comment was childish I admit however it is generally true that only those who live with/work within special needs understand how things work and AIBU probably wasnt the best place to put it.

OP posts:
bourboncreme · 23/06/2010 18:29

The OP has only been rude once as far as i can see and in the circumstances given that the incident was still fresh and shocking to her and given that she has apologised for saying heads will roll and said that she is not that confrontational I really think that the approbrium that is being directed at her is horrible.

Please bear in mind that the point of having this type of transport is precisely to avoid these types of situations If the parent is unavoidably detained they can be confident that their child will not be left alone,that trust has been breached and therefore she is not being unreasonable