To be furious that DD was alone when I came home??

[ApocalypseCheese]

DD has asd and a statement which covers her from the moment she leaves home to the moment she gets home. IE she is never unsupervised for her own safety.

Got home from shopping earlier and the poor thing was sat on the sofa panicing, one phonecall to the school reveals there were hardly any kids on the transport bus so dd was home quite a lot earlier than usual.
The front door wasnt locked as i've lost my front door key, dp had left for work earlier and left it open for me/the builders.

Not good enough, these people are trusted to care for my child when i'm not there, heads will roll in the morning

OP I totally understand where you are coming from.

School transport are supposed to give an indication of time of collection and drop off and should ensure that someone is there to meet the child. If there is no adult there to meet the child then they take them with them to their next drop off. If they are early they are supposed to ring to ensure that someone is there to meet the child.

I can only suppose that the driver / escort was too lazy to go to the door and check and just assumed that there was someone home.

I think you have every right to be VERY angry - yes you have a responsbility to be home at the appointed time - which you were - but equally they have a responsbility to check that there is someone there.

So if there is normally a hand over to another adult/carer, then they have been remiss in not doing this and you should let them know that it HAS to be done properly, handing over to another adult/carer, not just assuming someone is there.

Has it ever happened before or is this a one-off? YANBU, not really, because there should have been a handover.

ahh - thanks for clarifying that

I still think you are BU a little unreasonable given that you left the door open

Yes, I would be cross. Just because a child goes inside a house, it doesn't mean an adult is aware they're there. If SN are an issue, and there is a care plan that requires a physical hand over to an adult, then this is what they should have done.

However, you should probably allow a bit more leeway in future. And make sure you're home in time.

I only have a mobile which I was definately NOT contacted on

YANB at all U!

I have to say that each morning when I drop ds off I am loathe to leave him at school if his one to one is not waiting in the playground. He has HFA and is a bit of an absconder. I tend to hang around until the playground gate is locked (inner city school with high walls) then I know that even if he takes off on one he will be contained.

I just never 100% feel comfortable though when he is out of my sight. Horrible.

So who is responsible for her between end of school and getting home?

x posts with lots.

I think it's fine to call the transport people or whoever is in charge and remind them they need to see the adult before they drive off

hope your dd is ok xxx

I agree the door shouldnt have been unlocked.

But the fact is an adult crossover which has been in place for the past 6 yrs should still be adhered to !

Am curious-as you weren´t there, what should the escort have done in that situation?

I think it's easy to say that the op is being unreasonable here. On the one hand yes, op is BU for not being at home when her child arrived, for leaving the door unlocked meaning that anyone could have been in the house when her child arrived there.

However, the idea of transport is surely to ensure that children with sn make it to and from school safely. In the op's case I'm presuming that her dd's ASD is such that she is more high-functioning and can let herself in the house and wait for her mum. But what of children whose disabilities are more severe? If a child with severe ld's or a severe physical disability were in the same position would the escorts just leave them at the door too? Not knowing whether they'd be safe once they went into the house. And once they went in, if a child came to harm after an escort had dropped them at their front door with no communication with the parent/carer who would be liable?

I can see that the door being left open would indicate that someone was home, but without actually catching sight of the parent the escort couldn't know they weren't in the loo/the shower and not able to attend to the child for a period? And just how qualified are the escorts to know which children it would be safe to let into an unlocked house without seeing a parent and which it wouldn't?

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing purely from the position that you weren't actually home to take charge of your child and that will not put you in a positive light,, but this certainly does need clarifying IMO.

They should not have left her in an empty house.

You should be prepared for all eventualities, including there being an early drop off (and 10 minutes isn't a lot...) You and transport people were BU.

They must have contingency plans for such situations, diddl - like phoning the parent, waiting to see if the parent comes home in the next couple of minutes, taking the next drop-off home and then coming back - there would have to be plans in place.

You definitely need a bigger buffer, will mean there is no chance of this happening again.

Geek, until the escort claps eyes on me they are responsible for dds safety.

Life is full of what ifs, if the bus hadnt have been late i'd have had plenty of time to spare!

they didn't know that you DP had left early

Did you ring them?

the door was open

did they hand over to a builder/responsible adult as they are already in the house?

how was the school to know that the bus was going to be there early?

How wuold they have got in touch with you when/if they knew they where going to be early?

Questions Question Questions.

YABU

we all make parenting mistakes but I really dislike it when people can't hold their hands up to them rather than blaming other people

I can see what they did wasn't exactly ideal, but yes if the door is open it is a reasonable assumption to make that someone is at home

Thanks thumbwitch-was sort of wondering how it worked.

Ive thought about this, i would phone education transport tomorrow if you havent already and tell them what happened and ask what it says in the contract drawn up with the transport!

They are supposed to drop off all the other kids and then return to the house if nobody is in, dd is 11 but functions at around aged 6 level.

Don't worry, the escorts head is safe, as I said earlier 'heads will roll' was a slight huge exaggeration on my part, but I will be having a word.

Not only are you being unreasonable you are being very rude to the people telling you so on this thread. Just be grateful your dc gets a bespoke door to door service!

Oh god - your front door was left open and because she could get in the driver thought she was OK. Leaving front door open is a risk in itself - anyone could have been in there.

But where were you? You are very reliant on the traffic conditions and number of people on the bus. I'd be there earlier if were you.

My neighbour's ds is 5 and with severe autism (no communication at all) gets a school bus. Neighbour ensures that her ds is ready and waiting for the bus when it arrives (so she doesn't make everyone else late) - I also see her outside with a cup of tea in hand waiting for him to get back. Sometimes she out there 5 minuntes - sometimes 20 - just waiting for her ds.

The bus doesn't always arrive at the same time - massive differences in traffic has its affect.

I'd definately call the school and bus company in relation to adult to adult handover and make a mental note that you'll be there earlier in future.

Had he not seen her walk through the door into YOUR home - something you facilitated - I'm sure he wouldn't have just driven off.

Has she recovered from this yet?

A carer exchange is exactly that. She is to be directly handed to me each day and vice versa as stipulated in the contract thingymebob.