boarding school threat

[bananalover]

AIBU in telling my 8 yr old son that if his disrespectful behaviour continues, I will send him to boarding school?

expensive threat! Boarding school is ace, I would be excited if I was him

YABU, I don't think you should ever blackmail a child, threatening to send them away because you want them to behave isn't on, sorry.

maybe he secretly wishes you would send him away instead of berating him

if you saying so solely to upset and frighten yabu

well, in his case its either boarding school or borstal, the lesser of 2 evils is boarding school.

Never threaten something that you can't follow through.

never make empty threats! If you tell them something will happen if they continue to do whatever it was that made you say it, and you don't - then they mark you forever more as someone who doesn't follow through, and then you've lost them!

I suspect many DCs quite fancy the idea of boarding school (post Harry Potter) ....

I agree with the don't make empty threats. Also if it is something you are really thinking about then don't make it a punishment.

am seriously considering it...basically because he has absolutely no respect for me his father, other children, his teachers etc.
boarding school would sort him out surely?
i respected my parents, teachers, basically anyone in authority and older than me...he doesnt.

That sort threat is like threatening to put your child in care. It is preying on his fears. Eight year olds are really big babies and still need their mummies.

Yes, eight year olds can be difficult, but they need PROPER parenting, not emotional blackmail. Who is the adult here and who is the child?

Does your son understand why his behaviour is disrespectful? Do you talk to him when neither of you is angry. Talk through expectations in a calm fashion.

I find that no TV or computer for a day is a very effective sanction for punishing lippy eight year olds. It also means that they are bored and you can talk to them.

I've been doing this to all three of mine for years. It doesn't work. They just at me, and carry on being heinous.

Why is he being like that though?

My eldest child was being hideous this last week and it all came out in a rush at bedtime today - fear of dying playing on their mind with fear of a pending school move layered on top.

Don't think a boarding school threat would have helped.

I have told both mine recently that if their behaviour worsens any more, and they refuse to do as I ask/obey rules, then boarding school will be seriously considered.

They did like the sound of it at first until I explained it would be nothing like Hogwarts. Once they realised they wouldn't get to cast spells, it rather lost it's allure.

Well my dd would love to go to boarding school so that threat would get me nowhere.

I found getting the prospectus and leaving it around concentrated ds's mind wonderfully...

Do you have a spare 9k a term?

imo 8 is a bit young for boarding school. 13 is alright

have tried no tv, no pc games, no treats, naughty step (when younger), grounding...everything. school also had enough of his behaviour IE attacking other children when he cant get own way, talking OVER the teacher, swearing, spitting...as parents we feel powerless.
where do we go from here?
i feel that boarding school would sort him out...surely other perents have sent their kids there, arent they supposed to be good for this type of behaviour?
also, we have talked to him about this until blue in the face, and so have his teachers....getting nowhere.
seriosly feel that if we dont do something drastic now, he really will end up in borstal.

tee hee agree with secunda
we did this with dd - may have backfired!

scaryteacher...love that idea!

I used to beg my parents to send me to boarding school.

Too much Malory Towers/Chalet School

Well, sure, if I had made a complete balls up of bringing up my kid, boarding school would definitely be an option.

But, you know, credit crunch and all, I believe that you would get a better deal by selling him to childless couples abroad, say Canada or the USA.

Doesn't hurt to look at all the options. Is he small enough to sweep chimneys dahn London?

I find "Father Christmas' Elves are hiding everywhere watching what you are doing" far more effective.

I'd remove every single toy from his bedroom and make him earn them all back.

Have the school not been able to help at all?

I do think boarding in a few years would do my dd the world of good, she is a full on child who goes from one activity to another with endless energy. She is very confident and sporty. I if I was about 20K a year richer and not a socialist I would send her in a shot. I am trying to rectify both of those things.

Banana I don't know your own so am not sure if it would be the best thing but there are state boarding schools.