to be a bit miffed at the 'Mother at the school gates'

[Bigmouthstrikesagain]

this weeks Guardian weekend had a 'What I'm really thinking' column written by a mother apperntly disappointed in other mother's lack of attention to their personal appearence. I don't know why it has bothered me so much (maybe it is my hideous hangover after a rare night out but the open disgust she displays in her (anonymous) piece is frankly unsisterly and horrible.

I do not always look glam at pick up - I never wear tracksuits, being of the opinion that they should only be worn if you are doing exercise of some sort. But in the morning particularly I am lucky if I have brushed my hair and not just gathered it in a messy ponytail and I never bother with make up - I save make up for 'going out'. I think pedicures are for people with too much money and time on their hands but as long as feet are relatively clean that is fine.

I see fathers picking up their kids and they are wearing no make up, have messy eyebrows and a distinct lack of stylish clothing but that is ok with our anonymous contributor I am sure. Is it a wife and mothers duty to look nice so they don't show up their children and their husband still wants to sleep with them!? Ick

Sorry I had too get that off my chest - I feel better now (and the Ibuprofen is kicking in as well) Thank you.

Maybe slobby dressing just says you don't care about dressing.

I care about gardening and I often arrive at the gates with dirty knees and fingernails.

I care about baking and I often arrive at the gates with flour on my top.

I care about having a clean and organized home so while my hair is slightly unkempt, my children have a lovely calm environment to come home to.

slobby dressing is highly subjective.maybe mums think they look ok.if someone else cannot tolerate their attire that is their problemo

Riven, I don't believe hippies don't care what they look like. They want to look different and reflect, through their clothes/hair/etc a certain set of values and lifestyle choices.
That is very different to being a slob.

There is a dad at our school who regularly drops off in (dirty) pyjamas - I think that's taking it a bit far. I would have been mortified as a child if my dad had been at school in his pyjamas - I mean, how hard is it to pull on a pair of jeans?

Generally however I rarely notice what other people are wearing at school though the parents go from full on bling to Boden-tastic to pyjamas and flip-flops. I always wear make-up because to me it's as much a part of my routine as brushing my teeth.

Each to their own (excepting pyjamas)...

There is a dad at our school who regularly drops off in (dirty) pyjamas - I think that's taking it a bit far. I would have been mortified as a child if my dad had been at school in his pyjamas - I mean, how hard is it to pull on a pair of jeans?

Generally however I rarely notice what other people are wearing at school though the parents go from full on bling to Boden-tastic to pyjamas and flip-flops. I always wear make-up because to me it's as much a part of my routine as brushing my teeth.

Each to their own (excepting pyjamas)...

I don't get why caring about how you look is some moral highground. I personally do care, wear make up pretty much every day etc. But I don't really care what other people do - it doesn't relate to how they are going to be to me so I don't really care. Maybe I'm a bit solipsistic but it's no worse than bitching about pointless things like other people's clothes.

I also have a friend whose mother is obsessed with her appearance and has passed this down to her daughter, who is incredibly dissatisfied with her wonderful hourglass shape because it's not hollywood size 0. The mother looks great, but has no self-esteem, which is why she is constantly picking at bits of herself and my friend is the same. It frustrates me that she is perfectly healthy and good-looking but spends so much time being boring, frankly, about how her legs aren't like Kate Moss's (and they never will be, but that's not a bad thing). She would be better company if she cared less about how she looked

I read this and knew exactly the types of mums at the School gates that she was talking about, its not a bad thing to look a bit scruffy, but its not for me.

What annoys me is the mums that moan that they dont have time to look nice which most of the time is a lazy excuse!

I lay out my clothes and accessories every night - takes aprox three minutes, then dry my hair the evening before so I just slap on some concealer and a bit of blush in the morning and Im ready to go - takes about 2 minutes.

So thats five minutes in total to look half way presentable, most people could afford that time they just can't be bothered.

I read that piece and I thought surely to god Cod wrote that.
It just doesn't apply to the sort of world I live in. Nobody looks to see if other parents have brushed their hair that morning. PJs would probably attract notice, but beyond that? Nope, nobody cares.

god I'm glad I don't do the school run...

I couldn't give a monkeys what other parents look like at the school gate. I rarely notice. in fact, I never notice. Who gives a shit? Really?

When I think of the mums and dads I like at school, I think of friendly faces, smiles, good convo etc. I don't think 'ooh, she always looks nice in her jaunty Boden mac'.

I live in the countryside and some of the parents collect their kids in bare feet! Yes! barefeet!
We just think "Ouch that must hurt?" We are not bothered by what anyone wears. If someone does dress up, then they usual get asked "Have you been to a job interview?"
Most are SAHMs in our village.

those who do give a shit,need to find something more meaningful to think about

Scottishmummy - you can give a shit about what you look like / wear AND have a brain. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Personally couldn't give a flying banana about what others do / don't do but I pretty much always have tinted moisturiser, mascara and blusher on - except to go to the gym. And no, I am not an insecure minger. I am a normal looking woman who enjoys make up and clothes.

I'm interested in how we express ourselves through clothing (and everyone does - the dreadlocked hippies mentioned by Riven earlier are caring just as much / making just as much of a statement as those who wear five inch heels and couture).

And I don't own any Boden.

ouch! Barefeet! Not being judgy at all. Different strokes for different folks and all that. I just can't imagine that - I see those things too, Riven.
And I don't like my feet showing

i care what i wear,dont care what anyone else wears.and dont i opine about it either

The kind of person who cares what I or anyone else wears at the school gate is the kind of person whose opinion I really don't care about. In fact, the thought of them taking a sharp intake of minty fresh breathe, and then gossiping about it afterwards with their immaculate, dull friends over a skinny latte or decaf water I find positively thrilling.

How terribly sad and empty to care about what other mums are wearing at the school gates. And there is one thing caring about your own personal appearance but to comment on others. I have actually never heard any mums doing this at my school gates, glad I am not at some of yours. It is a very sad message that could be being passed on to your kids.

Well, the line 'Those who give a shit need to find something more meaningful to think about' seems to indicate otherwise but if you say so.

I can't believe they'd print this crap in the Guardian. ffs

i can.guardian is chattering class shite