to be pissed off that best friend is going to call her DD the same name as my DD ?

[cheekster]

I know this has been done again and again,

Ive often seen these posts before and felt for the person, but now it is happening to me I am so at the fact that I cant do anything about it!

Its a name, not a very popular one BTW, but i dont own the name so yes she has every right to use it if she chooses
BUT I just think it is bizaare. I would never name any of my children a name of a friends child - and she is my best friend.

When she told me I said it is strange and would be very strange when we are together and quite confusing for the little ones, but said i had no rights to the name and if thats what she chooses then I will have to live with it.

I know you will all probably say IABU but anyone who has been in a similar situation, please can you give me some advice and experience of how you get your head round it.

chances are she's worried friend may be a mumsnetter so made it DD instead of DS.

oh dear. not your fault, but your parents have gc called thea and theo.

there are a lot of names. I think some people just like what has already been endorsed iyswim

If this is a genuine thread...

Mbest friend has called her last baby the exact same name as my ds4. Complete with matching middle name.

She spoke to me first. We always ike the same names when deciding. I think it's nice.

Ds4 thinks it is fab. We call the baby Hugo Rafferty II

What will happen with the OP's dc (or her friend's, if that's who this is really about) starts nursery and school?

Thee are very, very few names that are so unusual that nobody else will have it - unless it's a made-up one. MagalyZz mentions Dulcie - I know (albeit not well) at least two of them under 10 - all in the same (not particularly large) town, in two different schools (so two in each) 3 miles apart from each other. So although not exactly two-a-penny, it's not unique.

God, I'm a lot more intrigued now than I thought I would be ... marking my place so I can watch her explain when she turns up again

But you won't contyinue to see the playgroup leader after a few years. And she's not you best friend - different relationship

Helyg, lovely names your DCs have.

Don't MAKE her explain. If she like Blinks said changed a detail to avoid being identified then making her come clean to satisfy our curiosity will totally defeat the object.

I have changed loads of details about my personal life on MN and I had some cheeky wench (friend of a friend I'm fairly certain) correct me. she did an anonymous name change to correct me. Like I can't fucking lie on the internet if I want to!!!!!

showofHands is your 'unique' name given you a sense of superiority. You told me want I mean't by YABU when I stated that the OP was being unreasonble and you seem to have a greater understanding of the woman's feelings within my anecdote of toddler gym than me who was actually there.

I don't really see why posts about the rarity of posters names on this thread is relevant. To me it just seems like blatant bragging and comes back to the idea that I suggested earlier that somehow the exclusiveness of their name is a testament to their exclusive 'self', which is simply not true. Besides, most people will be able to find their name in some name book somewhere, it's not unique unless your parents invented it. Having a rare name is not an achievement in itself and finding one and copyrighting for your child cannot be done, get over yourself.

My friend announced she was going to give her dd the same name as my dd had. I found it weird. She said, I'm going to call her X (dd's name) after the famous XYZ, you know?

So I said, you mean the same as dd? I mean what a load of bollocks after XYZ from history.

She gave her a totally different, I thought very pompous name in the end whihc seemed way too grand for a little baby but she may have grown into it. I don't know if she had really given her dd's name I would have got used to it in the end but it was strange the whole thing. Dd's name not that common really.

I just think this sort of thing is berserk and extremely self-centred.

Some other people are going to have the same name as your DC's, some of them might be your friends temporarily or permanently. Get over it, it is simply not reasonable to be mithering about it.

Good point MagalyZz - I feel mildly chastened

As to the OP: I think it's a distinctly odd thing to do.

But GoldenBear, that scenario is totally different as it's just a random collection of people at the gym.

You're basically saying "i once by chance met a woman who was odd about having a son with the same name as mine". There's no relationship between you and that woman. So it isn't comparable and proves nothing!

The rarity is relevant. Two Emilys in a group won't make anybody think twice. Two Zeldas is going to raise eyebrows. Because people who choose a name like Zelda or Dulcie care about the name being unusual. People who choose the name Emily don't mind, so of course it's relevant.

Thanks Bessie

DS1 is called Rhys, so all Welsh names which can at least be pronounced properly outside of Wales, even if they sometimes are spelt wrong.

(Can you tell I spent a lot of time at an English uni trying to explain how to say and pronounce my Welsh name? )

Headbanger, I wouldn't have thought of it if it hadn't happened to me!

I'd be a bit miffed too, but not forever. It's just your first reaction, which will be replaced by more rational feelings as time goes by. Does she copy you with other stuff? I have a friend who does this and it drives me insane, until I calm down and decide to take it as a compliment.

YABVU.

No one has a monopoly on any name. See it as a compliment. DD has unusual name and I am happy when I hear someone else has the same name.

The only thing that would put me off a name I'd chosen would be if any of my siblings or DH's siblings chose the name.

DS1 has a relatively unusual name - I have the school list for DD's school and no other kids with the name - but he's starting there in September and there will be another boy in his class with the same name. Nothing I can do about it although am a little sad for him always needing to be known by his surname too.

BTW - DH's younger sister who doesn't have kids yet asked me to avoid the name Nathaniel because that was the name of her DH's grandfather and if they ever had a son that would be the name they'd use.

And when my son was born I asked my brother if I could use his name as middle name as it was the name of my DH's grandfather (no deceased) and he said no, so we didn't, but had we chosen to it would have been our choice.

actually nowadays rare names are more likely to be John, Anne,Frank and Sally

very very simple

acutally one friend of mine is married to a guy called Nico, their eldest son is Nico, her brother is Nico and the bestfriend of ds2 is Nico

But so what if a good friend wants to call her DC after your's?

So what?

What is the problem?

I honestly don't get it.

I have a friend who in her 30's, stopped being friends with a friend of her's, because the friend called her DD the name she wanted for her future DD. My friend is now 44 and still childless and likely to remain so. She also doesn't have that friend with "her" daughter-that-never-was's name.

That's how mad you can get.

I think if you call your ds John these days and someone in your acquaintance does the same, they are obviously copying you to be annoying.

They should by rights be calling their ds something like Haakon or Godfrey

What is odd is that the friend has admitted that she is deliberately naming her child after yours,not just that she happens to like the same name.That would make me feel very uncomfortable,rather stalkerish.