to be pissed off that best friend is going to call her DD the same name as my DD ?

[cheekster]

I know this has been done again and again,

Ive often seen these posts before and felt for the person, but now it is happening to me I am so at the fact that I cant do anything about it!

Its a name, not a very popular one BTW, but i dont own the name so yes she has every right to use it if she chooses
BUT I just think it is bizaare. I would never name any of my children a name of a friends child - and she is my best friend.

When she told me I said it is strange and would be very strange when we are together and quite confusing for the little ones, but said i had no rights to the name and if thats what she chooses then I will have to live with it.

I know you will all probably say IABU but anyone who has been in a similar situation, please can you give me some advice and experience of how you get your head round it.

I'd like to say it wouldn't bother me and that you should chill out, but it would bother me....

A good friend named her DS the same name as my DS, though we only see them a few times a year so I wasn't too bothered about it.

My sister did the same thing with the name I chose for DD though..... I told all the family the name that we'd chosen when I was pregnant with number two. My sister and I were both expecting at the same time, though I was 6 weeks ahead. My sister then announced on Facebook to all and sundry that she would be calling her DD the same name ....

When we had DD we debated for ages as to whether to call DD our original choice.... we chose differently in the end. Sister used our choice when her DD was born. Felt really miffed at the time, but now I look at my DD, she suits our new choice much better.

I do understand that it's a bit odd, especially as you're best friends....

The children will like sharing a name, and the new baby will soon have her own variation on the name. Don't worry. It's obviously a good name

Yanbu. I know no-one 'owns' names and all that, but if it's an uncommon name and she's (supposedly) your friend it'd sure p* me off hugely.

Surely she knows it's going to bug you? And yet she goes ahead?! I would probably start to edge away from 'best friend' status actually. It's a strange thing to do.

YANBU

This would really piss me off.

"Your advice to the op to call her a child a 'fake name' is cmean and childish."

It was a joke. Hence the 'that'll learn 'er' tacked on the end.

This is why I dislike AIBU. Nobody can discuss things, it's all namecalling and bolshiness.

I agree- no-one owns a name, but I wouldn't do it. I always loved the name "Lucy" but a close friend called her daughter that and when my daughter arrived I didn't want to use it any more. I still liked the name but that child had become "Lucy" IYSWIM and I wanted my child to have her own name in our small circle.

One of my BF has told me that if she has a son she will call him exactly the same name as my son, first name and middle name. I think it is weird. It's a pretty popular name so I don't believe I have any particular right to it, but I just can't understand why you'd want your child to have exactly the same name as another child in your close social circle.

I've never met anybody with my name either. Not once. The only other one I've heard of is the MNer cocolepew.

it would annoy me but I guess you have to just grin and bear it and hope she changes her mind.

Our favourite girls name for our last baby was the same as my brother and sils. We both had boys but when she had her boy first I asked her if she minded if we used it and she said no it was fine. That was my last baby and shes having another. I kind of hope that its a girl and she uses that name

I'm surprised at how cool some people are about this. Would be just about ok if you didn't actually see you best friend too much due to distance. Very odd otherwise. I discounted loads of names because we knew people with them.

are there 2 posters called cheekster? because according to that thread, 'other' cheekster doesn't have a dd.

lucykate, imarriedafrog pointed that out earlier and cheekster hasn't returned.

maybe she's out shopping for that double pushchair then

my mum and dd1 choice dd2's name - it happens to be thesame abriiated name as one of my friends - for a time it was big xxx and little xxx

which wasn't that great as the big xxx didn't like being called big

so i would just mention to your friend that if she is going to call her dd the same as yours that at no time is your dd to be refered to as big xxx as it will cause offense

I know you'll be told YABU and that nobody owns a name blah blah blah, but I think it's an odd thing to do.

If she is a close friend then she try and find a name that hasn't been used by one of her close friends/cousins/sisters/brothers. JMO

well spotted Lucykate and married frog!

"By cheekster Sun 30-May-10 21:09:03
DC2 is due at Christmas, DS will be 2.5 then"

so on this thread she has a DD 18 months, and on the other thread she has a DS 22 months???

I wonder if she's the best friend and wants to use the name herself?

ps, I agree with RunnyBottom, I'd be wondering why my best friend had so little imagination. None of my friends has ever copied me!! not to that extent! There's flattery and there's "whoah, you're breathing my air, stand back".

Generally I don't care what other people think, but I would feel a little bit self-conscious about having a friendship with somebody who had basically announced to the World that she had no desire to be imaginative, or rather no shame about blatantly copying!!

And if the name is something unusual, like say Dulcie and the two of you are calling out Dulcie at different children in 3 years time, it will seem really noticeable and a bit funny!

So OP, yadNbu

Thats what I thouht SoH.

ooooooh. light bulby shudder!

Just in case this is a genuine thread, YABU.

Of course the DCs won't get confused. FFS!

DS shares a (fairly uncommon) name with his cousin - it's of no consequence.

And this isn't In My Humble Opinion at all - I am absolutely right on this.*

• and slightly baffled as to why other people getting so proprietorial over names riles me so much.

I think YAB a bit U.

I met one of my (now best) friends when I was expecting DS2. She had one son, and so did I, and we went to the same toddler group. Her DS has a popular Welsh name (Siôn) and when DS2 was born we decided to call him the same name, not because of him but because we liked it. It wasn't an issue as it a popular name, I think there are about 4 of them in their small village school. A couple of years later we both fell pregnant at around the same time. DH and I decided on Carys as a girl's name. When I discused baby names with my friend it turned out that she had decided on Cerys as a girl's name, so almost the same. Of course we both ended up having girls, 9 weeks apart, and they are called Carys and Cerys. Apart from the fact that they often get called the wrong one it has never been a problem.

I suppose if they were really unusual names it might be more of an issue, but as they are both popular around here it hasn't been.

actually, soh that would make sense as according to the other thread she's pg.

as you were ladies, continue discussion, still quite relevant

at sister using the name you'd chosen!

TheBoy, so one of your son's grandparents have two grandsons with the same name. NOt weird for you perhaps but a little odd for them??