how can anyone think that saying 'no, im not doing anything because you are only asking me to do it because im a woman. How dare you not pay a cleaner, pay my gym membership, cook my dinner, do my washing,let me read when I want to, give me time to see my friends for coffee when I want... I am Woman! I was the one around to pick DD up from school today and now I am shattered. I have earned the right to sit on my arse...' has anything to do with feminism?
Feminism is many things, but not that. Feminism is about things like recognizing the value of all women's work to the economy, including raising human capital - aka childcare, and provision of other domestic services allowing men to earn money in paid jobs. This of course could apply equally to men doing domestic work and childcare, but they don't do this kind of unpaid or low paid work in the same numbers as women, which is why it is a feminist issue.
If you, for example, spend 8 hours per day doing general household tasks and looking after children and want to spend the other hours doing whatever you want, then that's the same as your husband, for example, spending 8 hours per day in an office and wanting to spend the rest of the time watching Top Gear. Either you divvy up the rest or agree to pay someone else to do it. If you, for example, do it all and work twice as many hours as your husband, enjoying 1/2 as much leisure, then feminism has an issue to discuss. And if on top of that you have less money to spend and own fewer assets, because the family income is perceived, legally or by the family, as belonging to the person who is in paid employment, then feminism has another issue to deal with. The truth of the world is that power and money are largely in men's hands for a number of reasons including the above.