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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that being an escort is a valid career choice?

300 replies

whatkatydidathome · 26/05/2010 13:41

I have a friend who is 19, unqualified and attractive. She was a lap dancer but is now considering escort work. She has tried it a few times and appears able to earn £200 an hour working for what appears to be a reputable (well as reputable as you can get I suppose!) agency in London. I have been thinking about how I feel about this (and discussing it with dh) and can see why she is doing it and I sort of think that I do think that it is a valid career choice (as long as she sticks with the agency who provide back up etc).

OP posts:
mumblechum · 26/05/2010 13:43

What exactly is an escort? Will she be having sex with these men?

TheButterflyParty · 26/05/2010 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Sidge · 26/05/2010 13:44

Depends whether you think having sex with strangers for money is a valid career choice.

I would say not.

mumblechum · 26/05/2010 13:44

I think she needs to think a bit longer term. She may be attractive now and able to earn £200 per hour but that presumably won't last forever and how is she going to get a long term job with no qualifications and a highly dodgy CV?

Francagoestohollywood · 26/05/2010 13:45

I'm with Sidge.

Original poster
whatkatydidathome · 26/05/2010 14:05

from what I can gather she provides a service which includes talking to men and often having dinner but "additional services" are assumed included in the price. Also talking to her she says that there is a career structure of a kind in that (a) many older men actually prefer to go out with older women and (b) she could more into the organisational side, much of which seems to be done by women. She has only had avery few clients so far but all were quite young city types who worked v long hours and did not have time t meet anyone the usual way (and I guess are used to paying for what they want).

OP posts:
OldMacEIEIO · 26/05/2010 14:06

I wouldn't get out of bed for £200 an hour

thesecondcoming · 26/05/2010 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ronaldinhio · 26/05/2010 14:08

only as a ford escort

tis whoring but by another name

ShinyAndNew · 26/05/2010 14:09

If she is happy I see no problem. I wouldn't particularly class escorting as a career though. A job, yes. But not a career.

I'd advise your friend to save hard. She won't be young and pretty forever.

Lauriefairycake · 26/05/2010 14:10

'additional services' = sucking men you don't knows cock for money. Fucking men you don't know for money.

I hate euphemisms.

Fine if you want to have lots of sex for money - but it's not a 'career' - it's a job where you're at greater risk of violence and std's.

Lauriefairycake · 26/05/2010 14:11

Nice first post btw

WombFrootShoot · 26/05/2010 14:12

I wouldn't get in bed for 200 quid an hour

foureleven · 26/05/2010 14:14

Why have you come to a parenting webiste to ask this question as your first post

I am at work and dont have time to put my arguement forward but FWIW anyone who works in the sex industry is contributing to an industry that exploits women, and often children.

Not cool.

Also, she'll still escort when she gets old and less conventionally attractive, she'll just have to do it for less money.. nice.

bibbitybobbityhat · 26/05/2010 14:16

"Why have you come to a parenting webiste to ask this question as your first post?"

exactly my question

?

Original poster
whatkatydidathome · 26/05/2010 14:17

I used a euphemism as I was unsure how the filters work on this group (and also whilst I'm aware of exactly what it means and whilst I fully agree that usually euphemisms should be avoided, I was concerned that children may end up in sight of some of the threads on this group ).

I'm not sure of how people are using the distinction between career and job. I also thougth about it and cannot think of much else to suggest to her - she needs to earn enough to pay rent and there is no work in her home town - even if there were she'd not get enough to pay rent on the minimum wage which is all she'd get.

I agree about the risks but all her friends are in the forces (most now in Afganistan) and so taking far higher risks. She tried the army but didn't like it as she didn't want to kill people which seemed fair enough .

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 26/05/2010 14:19

it's prostitution with a nicer name

maybe she would be better getting some qualifications, i imagine starting selling yourself at 19 for sex will leave you used up and worn out by your mid twenties,

then what you going to do?

a career is something with prospects, progression, that sort of thing

this is not a career

i think it is terribly sad for a 19 year old to think that this is her only option

i imagine the money is a big factor

but i think the idea of being murdered, abused, raped, beaten , encouraged into drug abuse would not be worth any money in the world

LindenAvery · 26/05/2010 14:22

Hmmm wonder how this thread is going to kick-off - popcorn anyone?

foureleven · 26/05/2010 14:22

"I was concerned that children may end up in sight of some of the threads on this group" Oh shit, I hope not!

JaxTellersOldLady · 26/05/2010 14:22

Isnt there a difference between Escorts and prostitutes? I always assumed (in my naivety) that Escorts just went to dinner and chatted to men and didnt do any sexual things...

oh well, ya live and learn!

I dont think it is a good choice of job, but I wouldnt judge someone who did it.

WombFrootShoot · 26/05/2010 14:23

So her choices were the army - killing people; or escorting - fucking people.?

PigeonsInFlight · 26/05/2010 14:24

I know someone who did this at uni to earn extra money. It is essentially another type of prostitution and I my feelings are with foureleven on this.

If your friend sees this as a long term career she needs to consider what will happen with if she wants a relationship/children, and how they might feel about her career choice.

Lulumaam · 26/05/2010 14:24

if she is young, and has no ties, she could look to moving/commuting where there is work.

Original poster
whatkatydidathome · 26/05/2010 14:25

I've been lurking for ages - years - I am a 40 year old parent of 3 young(ish) children and stuck at home building endless castles for my youngest so often read the posts in an attempt to stay sane . Was interested in how my views differed/coincided with that of other parents - that's all. From what I could see the posts in this section are not specific to any parenting or non-parenting topic but just generally about people's opinions.

OP posts:
Ronaldinhio · 26/05/2010 14:26

I would judge

I find it hard to believe that there is nothing out there in terms of work that would pay her enough to live
Depends how hard she wants to work and what type of lifestyle she wants to lead

If she's rather lie down for her money than work or educate herself then I would judge