AIBU to want to move DD into her own room at 5 weeks?

[CucumberInMyBra]

...I just think we might all sleep better.

At the moment, she sleeps in a moses basket next to our bed. I take her into her own room during the night for nappy changes and feeds, then bring her back into our room. I think she's a really light sleeper, so any snores or duvet rustles stop her settling back to sleep. And that in turn means she's pretty noisy throughout the night! Is it really mean to want to move her so early? Should I just suck it up and wait for another month or so? (She's big and long and stretches out so she won't fit in the basket much longer than that anyway!).

And for those of you who have moved a baby into their own room, how do I go about it without disrupting things too much? Thanks!

FWIW about half of my antenatel group put their babies into their own rooms at around 4-8weeks because of the noise they make. Being a really tired parent carries its risks as well. Just do whats right for you. Ask yourself, when LO sleeps soundly do you wake up or sleep deeper yourself. If you conk out, then whats the benefit of being in the same room. Guess it also depends on how often you normally get up and as other people have said you can use those monitor pads.

OP why dont you try the suggestion of not moving your baby to a different room for feeds, not changing unless needed? TBH I really think you are making things difficult for yourself by getting up/changing.

If things dont improve then perhaps think again?

I prefer to keep mine in with me until they are about 18 mths and go into a bed. In the early days I am far to lazy and knackered to get up in the night to feed. Much rather lean over and hoist them out of the cot and go back to sleep . All mine have been fairly ok sleepers.

DC5 is 6 weeks old and I think he is doing pretty well. He goes down about 8.30 and will wake up to feed 2-3 times a night and goes right back off again.

missus84 the baby has no need to hear me because she is fast asleep. When she wakes in the morning I am there for her immediately and she is very excited to see me.
Are you suggesting I should stomp around and wake her all evening (she slept through at 6 weeks), or should I go to bed at 7pm with her instead?
BTW I would never co-sleep because dh likes to cover his head with the duvet and any baby in bed with us would disappear under the covers. I find this much more dangerous than putting babies in separate rooms.

No BabyGiraffes - one of the reasons they think sleeping in the same room reduces the cot death risk is that the baby doesn't sleep too deeply as it hears its mother.

Hear me do what? Type on mn? Well, she won't hear me sleep because I sleep very quietly... Also, what about the time she sleeps when I am still up and doing stuff? ie, from 7pm to about midnight? Should I be worried about her not 'hearing me sleep'? Must look into this research because it sounds like complete nonsense to me to be honest.

DS1 was really noisey sleeper and i was a virtual non sleeper because of it. he was in moses and then cot next to bed til4.5 -5 months before going in his own room

i used to take him in for feeds changes etc too. i still remember being amazed at the first night he was in there and he slept all the way til 6am!!! he continued to as well and i wonder if all in the household wouldve done better if it had been alot sooner

with this in mind coupled with the fact we have no spare room for at least the first 2 months of DD life i have set up the moses as far away from us as poss and when we move house she will have her own room

we will use the sensor pad whether in our room or not like last time. i know there are some debate re SIDS but ours is really reliable (TW)

i agree with what someone said about SIDS and bed sharing being worse than in their own room with monitor/sensor and doors open

each to their own but i never liked bed sharing and can count on one hand the amount of times done it with 2.10 yo. each to there own but i was always terrified of squashing DS. luckilly it hasn't been an issue....yet

I think mine went in his room at 3 months, and before that I slept with earlugs !

I dont understand why them being away from you will affects SIDS to be honest, however there was literally a wall seperating us

I don't understand why it works but the advice obviously works as rates have dropped by half. I asked my hv about it and she said at some point of time in the uk rates were as high as 1 in 10. Not sure if she is right.

"Must look into this research because it sounds like complete nonsense to me to be honest. "

Because obviously you are better qualified to make that judgement than the scientists that undertook it . And it seems you aren't even aware of the huge body of research into this area yet feel qualified to pass comment on it

These people that think they know better than highly educated professionals..

not being unreasonable at all, yes 6 months is recommended but at the same time you need to do what works for you as a family and gets you all a good night's sleep as someone else pointed out a sleep deprived parent carries risks too (and this is coming from someone who didn't get more than 1.5 hours unbroken sleep for 7.5 months with DD2 i stopped driving etc).

FWIW we did the exact opposite with our two DDs they were so different from one another.

DD1 was a noisy but good sleeper, at 5.5 weeks we put her down in her moses basket in her room (DH was unwell and was watching tv in our room) and we then decided to see what would happen if we left her in there, she slept till 430am without a peep, and so she moved in there permanently and we all got more sleep.

DD2, well we didn't have a bedroom for her anyway but she had reflux was an awful sleeper etc so we co slept with her till around 6 months, then she went in a cot but in our room. She is a silent sleeper now at 10.5 months and is sleeping through in a cot in our room, we are hoping to move her in with her sister sometime in the next month.

So there is no one perfect answer, just make sure you what you a comfortable with though, there is no point moving her into another room and then worrying about it and being in and out of the room all night and not sleeping yourself.

Personally I would do what you feel most comfortable with. My dt's were 2 months prem, came home after 3 weeks and went straight into their own room next door.

We had a baby monitor on, but tbh as I was bf'ing myself I barely had a chance to go back to bed for the first 5 months. I occasionally just crashed out on the floor as I was so tired. At no point did anyone say to me they should be with me, or that I was doing the "wrong" thing. They are now 15, have always gone to bed when they should and slept well.

My 3rd DS was born in February and it was too cold to be traipsing next door, so he slept in cot at the end of our bed for about 3 months and then moved to his own room.

I'm a terrible sleeper and wake at the slightest sound so never felt concerned that I was going to miss something.

Perhaps try moving the baby next door, with a monitor, and see how you feel - you can always change your mind!

I guess the problem with the research (not really fixable) is that it would be completely unethical to do double blind randomised trials on babies to isolate certain risk factors.

They can do post-event surveys and look for patterns, but that doesnt mean that all those factors are necessary causes- some may just positively correlate with other risk factors. The issue for researchers is determining which ones.

You could argue that the whole fall in SIDS is due to falls in the number of smokers and everything else is incidental. There's no evidence to prove that that's the case but equally well, there's no evidence to say that that's wrong.

I have tried having DS in with us. But I am a light sleeper and suffer from insominia I literally do not sleep AT ALL if he is in the room. The only way I could sleep at all was with earplugs which somewhat reduces the whole point.

I persevered until around 4 weeks but at that point I was a non functioning walking zombie. DH pointed out he was sleeping during the day in his cot / crib without me standing over him.

We have eliminated all the other cot death risks... you have to do whats right for you - so no not unreasonable.

Haven't read the whole thread, but have you considered swaddling? It sounds like your baby is startling to noise and the startle is causing the waking? We had the same issue but found that the combination of the safe, enclosed space of the moses basket and swaddling prevented this. You need to be aware of overheating though. We used a coocoi wrap (sp?) which we were given as a present - it is made of merino wool so is safer in hotter temperatures and we never put clothes on underneath it other than a vest/nappy.

On that point (SIDS) my SIL thinks I am for letting DS sleep in his own room aged 5 weeks.

I think they are as she lets her DH smokes (not in the house) but he comes in holds the baby without changing clothes or showering.

My sister put her babies to sleep on their tummies and they slept better. So again conclude you are not unreasonable.

The jury is out on bed sharing, isn't it? Some research says it's actually better, no?

I share a bed but ds is not in any of the risk categories, I didn't until after 3 months, dh doesn't sleep with us if ds is in the bed and I don't use a duvet/pillows.

Bedsharing is only dangerous if you don't follow the guidelines IMO.

Our dd stopped breathing at 8w. Made one strange small noise that alerted dh for some reason and he got her out of her cot which was at the side of our bed. She was struggling for breath. I had just fed her, put her down and nipped to the loo and returned to find dh holding her.
It took staff at A+E an hour and a half to stabilise her. She was kept in for the w/e. No cause was found. Her notes say she was a near-miss cot death. If she had been in her own room and I'd put her back after feeding her then we would have known nothing until morning as she never made another sound after that first small noise.
Needless to say none of my babies after that were put in their own room before 6m.

I think YABU yes

Somebody made a point way up the thread about your sleep cycles becoming synchronised if you share a room, so you (theoretically!) get more quality sleep.

Just wanted to say that with both dds, we moved them into their own rooms after a couple of weeks when they were more settled and were only waking to feed (I'm a ridiculously light and stressy sleeper), and yet I still used to wake up, wide awake, just a minute or so before they woke up to feed in the night. It wasn't because they had started to make noise, as I wear earplugs (dh is too noisy for me to sleep even!), and they hadn't woken dh up. I think the sleep cycle thing is something to do with breastfeeding and hormone levels maybe?

Just a curious observation I had, I'm not arguing for or against, by the way! Like all parenting, there are risks and negatives to be balanced, and you need to make your own (informed) decision.

Do what is right for you.

DD1 lasted about three days before I moved her out of our room and into her own, I hardly slept at all and woke at every little snort and snuffle I was out of my mind with tiredness so that worked better for us.

DD2 never was in our room at all but slept in the hallway for the first six weeks, so close but not in our room.

I do know people who have had the breathing monitors and have been very happy having them.

You need to look at absolute risk not just relative risk. The risk of death from SIDS is approx 0.07%. Sleeping in another room puts this up to 0.14%.

The risk of infant death from any cause is about 0.48%.

You can't eliminate risk. If none of you are sleeping, potentially that creates greater risks in other areas of your lives. It's always a judgement call, and any one who makes absolute rulings on what you should or shouldn't do is wrong.

All of ours have slept in our room until they were 2.5 and went straight into a bed.

DS is 18 months and still in our room.

I think 5 weeks is too young.

Get some earplugs.

www.pulsus.com/journals/JnlSupToc.jsp?origPg=JnlSupToc.jsp&sCurrPg=journal&jnlKy=5&supKy=363& &HCtype=Physician

Load of articles here on bed-sharing. Definitely, jury is out. Appears that there are potential correlations but there are many provisos - greatest risk under 10 weeks for example, also if mum is poor and smokes etc.