to be in a murderous mood now that

[Zebra33]

my hubby woke me up from my slumber to make him sandwiches for work????? I have a 10 week old who is still up twice in the night and a 3 year old who also gets up in the night who tend to. I could just pack up and leave now!!!!

Going to read your previous posts Milady. My ex was a very heavy smoker aswell.

I make it sound so simple, don't I ?

Just leave you stoopid caaaa

Just read the whole thread and don't need to comment on the relationship aspect of it as it has been amply established that the OP's husband is an unmitigated twunt who would benefit from the application a strict shape up- ship out policy, but there is one thing I would like to know, pretty please.
How the FECK does any human being over the age of six manage to convince his nearest and dearest that he does not know how to make a sandwich? Even my seven year old wouldn't try that one on me. I mean, which is the bit he has difficulty with? The locate two pieces of bread of roughly similar size and shape bit? The spread them with butter/marge/mayo/whatever comes to hand bit? The stick filling of choice on top and wodge together bit? I mean its not fucking rocket science is it? They teach how to do it in Year One in our school IIRC.
OP, he is having you on. OF COURSE he can make a sandwich. He can tie his own shoelaces can't he. Wipe his own bum. Sandwich making is of that order of skill. Your ten week old could probably do it if necessary.

So women really can bring abuse on themselves? They really do deserve it? Yuck.

I have just asked my DH whether waking one's wife up for the purposes of sandwich making is acceptable in any circumstances.

He agreed that the only suitable response from the OP would have been 'fuck off'.

Having said that, he's probably not the best male control sample as he's currently doing the ironing.

I dont think they deserve it, no. And the man is always at fault for being a sick tosser. I don't agree with just taking it all though, unless the man is actually dangerous or something. The women I'm talking about weren't abused, just simpering. They served their men at the table, wouldn't eat until the boss was satisfied, kept their homes spotless for the men, ran their baths. I then had to explain to my abuser why I wouldn't do those things, and listen to the insults about how shit I was. These women don't even realise what they're condoning.

One woman even stocked up on paper plates and cups before she went on holiday so her H wouldn't have to wash up

did she freeze just enough plated meals for him too ?

and clean the house within an inch of its life, so it would stay nice for him ?

Ok, I apologise for calling the OP a mug.

Put in a better way...what on earth will you achieve by allowing him to wake you and then making him the sandwich? He will now think that his behaviour is acceptable and continue it.

That was my mum actually AF and she did actually freeze loads

I'm another one that is shocked! Just asked DH if he would dare try to wake me up when he leaves at 5.45am to make his sandwiches, and he just looked at me incredulously- he says he doesn't even dare put the light on, and dresses downstairs! (I am THAT scary in the morning - really really not a morning person!)

I also hate making sandwiches, so, although I grit my teeth and do them for the kids on the 2 days they need to take them, I told DH long ago that I wouldn't be making his. He makes his own.

I'm not a harpy- I am a mostly SAHM (work p/t) and I don't mind doing his washing, ironing and the bulk of the housework, but I draw the line at sarnies, for some reason!

nah, MS, the OP is a mug if she ever accepts that again

she doesn't deserve it though, nobody does

that is why it is so wrong

some 'interesting' comments on this thread . and not in a good way.

I used to live with a man who would, when I was at home on mat leave, have woken me up to make his sandwiches just like the OP's H did. I used to make his sandwiches the night before to avoid it.

that was the tip of the iceberg - he also used to tell me how slovenly/fat/useless (delete as applicable) I was for not cleaning the house often enough/looking after the children properly/in essence doing what I was told. And a lot of other stuff as well. How nice, after going through years of that, before finally getting myself out of it all to now be told I brought it all on myself and should just have told him to fuck off the first time he did it .....what an overly simplistic view of life. and frankly not much better than the shit my Ex used to feed me.

OP, you know the way he's behaved isnt right. At best he's been completely ignorant, at worst he's on the way to being a total cock like my Ex. Only you know whether this is a minor aberration or indicative of a pattern of 'bad' behaviour, and how therefore to deal with the situation. This is not your fault, and the name calling against you is somewhat unnecessary, imo!

I'm not saying the OP's H is abusive in any way, just in case it looks like that.
I'm saying mollycoddling men has wider implications

But that's ridiculous, junglist.

I'm a bolshy feminist type, and the breadwinner, and my husband does more than half of the housework and childcare. But I do nice things for him, like bring him coffee in bed in the morning since I leave for work before he's up, or iron his PJs because it's nice to have crisp jammies and I like ironing, or bake him chocolate cakes which I don't even really eat because he gets all little-boy pleased about it.

Likewise, he did all the prep AND all the cleanup for my birthday party last week, and two days later dealt with three evening wakeups from the toddler so I could talk to an old friend who was over for dinner.

An abusive man could quite easily see one of my behaviours and use it against his own wife ('tortoise brings HER husband coffee in bed'). An abusive man is going to use whatever he can and whatever he wants to. You can't really be saying that being nice to your man, where the relationship is mutually respectful, implicates you in other people's abusive relationships?

You say these women weren't abused, so perhaps behind the scenes their husbands go out of their way to treat them beautifully as well?

I get annoyed with the 'oh it's just men they're hopeless' attitude as well. But I don't think you can blame it for the prevalence of abuse.

You give some people an inch and they take a mile. But it's their choice in the end what they do with the inch.

Milady, your exILs sound exactly like mine {grrrrrrrr}

People aren't understanding what I'm saying. I know what these relationships were about. Women fulfilling every wish because the man is king. No equality. Yes the men weren't abusive, but so what? Just because a man is nice it doesn't mean you degrade yourself like that. You are saying your relationship is equal, which is TOTALLY different. These weren't.
There's no point with all the Junglist this Junglist that anyway. I'm not budging an inch

Er, it's my business when I have to listen to shit because other women haven't got any respect for themselves. Why are you so fucked off? Are you a doormat

It IS degrading when you can't eat until your husband has decided you can sit down. People aren't understanding my point AT ALL. Isn't it degrading to get out of bed to make a sandwich?? This is hilarious

junglist, you are thicker than a whale ommelette

you dont have to listen to shit. you dont have to make any butties if you dont want to.
but who put you in charge ? I'll make my own decisions ta v much

I do feel this has got a little out of hand.

And omlette only has one m, whoever makes it.