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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be in a murderous mood now that

197 replies

Zebra33 · 18/05/2010 07:39

my hubby woke me up from my slumber to make him sandwiches for work????? I have a 10 week old who is still up twice in the night and a 3 year old who also gets up in the night who tend to. I could just pack up and leave now!!!!

OP posts:
Whippoorwhill · 18/05/2010 15:00

TheCrackFox said
"Every time you get up to do a night feed wake him up to make you a cup of tea."

My husband can be a lazy arse but when our boys were babies they had dreadful colic and he'd always get up and make me a cup of tea and take a turn with the rocking despite having to be up again at 6.00. He'd also make me a cup of tea when he got up to go to work but if I was sound asleep he'd put it by the microwave so that I could nuke it when I woke up.

He works away a lot but when he's home we usually take it in turns to make lunches in the mornings. One makes the tea and feeds the dogs and the other makes sandwiches. If he's knackered from very late working then he gets a lie-in on his first day back, if he's not then he gives me the lie-in while he does it all... and he brings me breakfast in bed.

You are being treated like a skivvy and a second class citizen.

biddysmama · 18/05/2010 15:02

my d[ is the one who goes to his mums for breakfast cos i wont make him any at that time of the morning and she will

AnyFucker · 18/05/2010 16:04

I just couldn't see the humour in being woken for the sole purpose of making some mummy's-boy's butties because he is too lazy and self-entitled to do it himself

nope....zero hits on the funny bone

childish games not done in this house either, we all know where we stand

darkandstormy · 18/05/2010 16:08

op God he needs some serious boot camp training, or better still just the boot.

SixtyFootDoll · 18/05/2010 16:13

Hang on a minute.....

No I'm right it is 2010.

Op - get some self respect.

I sometimes make DH sarnies for work is I am doing mine, sometimes he makes mine.
But if he ever spoke to me like your DH has I would shove his sandwich down his throat.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 18/05/2010 16:14

Hubby does not mean surrendered wife .

Zebra - you need to nip this in the bud as your husband is an arse.

Gibbon · 18/05/2010 16:15

Not often a thread plays on my mind but I cannot get over the fact that after you getting up and doing it (that's taken some lifting my jaw off the floor, let me tell you) he then proceeded to put them in the bin.

What an absolute, abusive fucking arse.

Headbanger · 18/05/2010 16:22

Are there still men that behave like this?? I thought it was some kind of urban myth.

Headbanger · 18/05/2010 16:26

(Disclaimer: I make the old man's sarnies fairly often, but this action is always greeted with baffled pleasure and thanks etc.. Which sounds smug but what I mean is, women making sandwiches isn't the problem, it's the response and expectation that is).

AhLaVache · 18/05/2010 16:44

I make possibly unreasonable assumptions based on the use of 'hubby'.

That is all.

BritFish · 18/05/2010 16:45

Tortoiseonthehalfshelf and Oldenglishlady, ditto to
"using sex (or withholding it) to get your partner to behave is pretty fucking degrading too. You have sex with your partner because you enjoy it and you love them, not as a bartering tool to get what you want. You're not a sex worker, it's not a commercial transaction, and he's not a punter. Grow up and start treating your relationship with some respect. "

if i want sex i have, if i dont, i dont. its not a payment for packing my husbands lunches and running him a bath and raising his kids.

oh and OP i cant believe you've stayed with this man so long if this is a usual thing. what a brat!

my other half was half spoilt half well trained, so it was easy to even him out. ie, dont ever ASSUME im going to cook tonight!

we generally work on a 'take it in turns' basis. or better still 'work together'
[because im crap at cooking and bothering to make things with more than 3 ingredients]

MalsFlannel · 18/05/2010 16:55

The whole game playing thing of "oh, next time you're up in the middle of the night wake him up..." and "oooh, close your legs darlin, that'll teach 'im!" stuff is baffling to me.

Utterly baffling. Is marriage a war to be won then? Many skirmishes until someone caves in?

Christ, how depressing.

OP - if I were you (well, I wouldn't have got up for a start off) I would be using this as a real opportunity to get your cards on the table.

This shit is not acceptable, don't do it again, it shows a fundamental lack of respect for me...etc, etc.

Morloth · 18/05/2010 17:09

I wouldn't be married to someone so dumb that they couldn't make a sandwich.

2shoes · 18/05/2010 17:15

omg just read the op
I am shocked that any man would do that

mathanxiety · 18/05/2010 17:28

Next time he tries to wake you ask him in all seriousness if the house is on fire.

And I like Eieio's idea of waking him frequently for a while with requests for... maybe a sandwich or two? Although I agree with MalsFlannel that marriage isn't supposed to be some sort of karmic / rock-tumbling exercise.

Mermaidspam · 18/05/2010 17:40

Zebra33 - you are a mug. He's an arse.

End of.

maltesers · 18/05/2010 18:23

Hey you guys. . .dont make Zebra3 feel any worse. . . ."you're a Mug" "i wouldnt be married to someone so dumb. . ." Support her you lot , dont kick her wen she is down.
ZEBRA3 . . tell him directly and calmy that he needs to make his won packed lunch . . .you are exhausted and am awake half the nite. If he huffs and puffs, then just let him..
He is your dp and needs to love and care for you as his partner. You are run ragged and he needs to realise such, and support you . He is being very selfish and demanding. He has two healthy hands and is fit enough to go to work , so fit wnuf to make dam sandwiches. Its 2010 tell him and not 1910 !!

foureleven · 18/05/2010 18:29

To wake you up is ridiculous! How rude, especially with a 10 year old. However, when i was on maternity leave I used to get my partners sandwiches ready the night before. So I knew he had something for lunch as with a new baby he was pretty knackered in the morning and used to forget.

I didnt want him to go hungry.

we're separated now though and he turned out to be a class A cock. So wish I hadnt bothered haha

foureleven · 18/05/2010 18:29

10 week old

EdgarAllenPoll · 18/05/2010 18:31

he woke you up!

i think you need to tell him that the reason you have time off is because you need it.
it is not 'Wifey Leave' it is maternity leave! you need to assert that if he really wants something doing, he should do it himself. If you happen to be good enough to do it, he should be thankful. But waking you up is totally totally out of order.

hocuspontas · 18/05/2010 18:37

Op PLEASE when you get up for your 10 week old tonight, wake him up for a cup of tea. Then throw it all over him.

I hope this is a joke really.

Goblinchild · 18/05/2010 18:38

I agree with you maltesers.
Bit like all those dog threads, he doesn't need rehoming or a kick in the balls. He needs retraining.
Clear, unambiguous statements about what and why things need to change, and some discussion, negotiation and compromising.

EdgarAllenPoll · 18/05/2010 18:43

goblin

mathanxiety · 18/05/2010 18:46

Is he jealous now that he's been dethroned?

ScreaminEagle · 18/05/2010 18:46

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