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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be in a murderous mood now that

197 replies

Zebra33 · 18/05/2010 07:39

my hubby woke me up from my slumber to make him sandwiches for work????? I have a 10 week old who is still up twice in the night and a 3 year old who also gets up in the night who tend to. I could just pack up and leave now!!!!

OP posts:
VoulezVouzCrochezAvecJACK · 18/05/2010 10:03

Oh trin, don't apologise, you are wuite right in what you said, WHY are there men like this acting as if they are lord and master of all.

DH doesn't bring me coffee in bed after he did once and it woke me up and I was Not Happy.
selfishness in the extreme even if there weren't small children in the house.

LisaD1 · 18/05/2010 10:07

My DH would not EVER do that to me, mainly out of respect but also a bit of fear that I would rip his head off and make his bollocks his lunch!

Please tell me you told him where to go?

If you didn't then you're letting him treat you like a mug.

ScreaminEagle · 18/05/2010 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Zebra33 · 18/05/2010 10:10

Well sadly I did get up to make them as I was too livid to get back to sleep. I f'ed and blinded all the way which led him to then throw them in the dustbin!!! He then sent me a text to say sorry for waking me up to make him his sandwiches but my reaction to it was ubcalled for and hurtful?!?!?!?! This is so unreal I find myself laughing!

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 18/05/2010 10:13

Every time you get up to do a night feed wake him up to make you a cup of tea. After all it is work but not paid. He will soon get the message.

What a twat.

GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy · 18/05/2010 10:26

What a knob. My DP used to wake up early, entertain the baby then make me lunch to put in the fridge for later because he knew I wouldn't have the time to prepare myself anything when DS was tiny.

I'd tell him if he wants to treat you like hired help then he can pay you the standard hourly wage.

VoulezVouzCrochezAvecJACK · 18/05/2010 10:27

zebra, if I were you I would email him a link to this thread so he can see how your reaction is a million times better than what he woudl have got from any of us.
I do make DH's sandwiches, if he asks me the night before, and then they go int eh fridge.
Waking you up to do chores is beyond the fucking pale.

Poledra · 18/05/2010 10:30

He threw them in the bin! Arse!

VirginonRidiculous · 18/05/2010 10:36

Fooo! You need to give him a swift kick in the knackers Zeb. I have similar age dc's to you with -100 hours sleep per week. My OH once tried to emotionally blackmail me into making sandwiches as the 'blokes at work wives work full-time and do it'. So, I told him to fuck off and marry someone who would make his sandwiches. He hasn't asked since.

ljgibbs · 18/05/2010 10:37

I hope when he gets home tonight you tell him his tea is in the bin.
The bastard.

OrmRenewed · 18/05/2010 10:40

?

Why would he expect you to do this? I don't understand.

MiladyDeWinterOfDiscontent · 18/05/2010 10:40

YANBU.

Show him this thread.

Fibilou · 18/05/2010 10:41

I'm not quite sure what is worse. The fact that he expected you to do it or the fact that you did.

If this is not a wind up thread you need to grow a set. And if either of your children are boys please do not bring them up to think this sort of behaviour is acceptable. For the sake of all our daughters.

electra · 18/05/2010 10:42

Unbelievable - no way would I have got up.

Poor you YA Definitely NBU

Fibilou · 18/05/2010 10:44

Poor you ? It's her own fault for having got up and done it ! Now he'll think he can do it again

Strawbezza · 18/05/2010 10:45

FFS Zeb are you a wife or a slave? Practise saying the following:

"No"

"Do it yourself"

"Fuck off"

And use any or all of the above when he makes a similar request to this morning's.

abr1de · 18/05/2010 10:47

Who brought up these men? Really, what were they thinking?

My son empties the dishwasher and gets my breakfast things ready for me. I am bringing him up to be a good partner/husband.

PatsyStone · 18/05/2010 10:54

YANBU
But I wouldn't have got up and made them, you do need to grow a backbone. My dh wouldn't dream of treating me like some kind of slave. I just could not be with a man who was so incapable of sorting himself out. I do make sandwiches for dh but only if I'm doing them for dc, and some evenings dh makes them. My dh would never wake me up when our dc were so small, you need all the sleep you can get.

As for whoever said their dh moans about no breakfast, my 11 year old makes his own breakfast, he can boil his own eggs dh makes me tea before he leaves before 7.

Can't believe he threw them in the bin is he a child?

MmeLindt · 18/05/2010 10:56

Zebra
What is he like otherwise? Does he treat you well, is he respectful towards you?

If this is a one off incident then I would be inclined to have a stern word this evening and tell him that his behaviour this morning was unacceptable.

If this is par for the course, then you really do have to sit down and think about what you want out of life.

menopausemad · 18/05/2010 10:56

Bloody hell - is this normal behaviour from him or just an aberration? If the latter I would be having firm words tonight, if the former I would be seeking legal advice NOW.

I am not pro-divorce by the way it is just if this is normal behaviour he needs to take your point that it is not reasonable very seriously indeed.

dignified · 18/05/2010 10:59

These threads really wind me up, i shouldnt read them , even phrases like " he should be helping " get my goat, why is a man picking up his own shit or doing something for himself classed as " helping " ?

Zebra i think this is something you need to look at , seriously, he wouldnt treat a cleaner or an au pair like this, why you ?
And a sorry followed by but isnt sorry , its justification.

I was once married to king of the castle, he did fuck all, would leave his dirty clothes on the floor ect. Absoluteley awful, yet i was partly do blame

" Can you just do me favour and put the bins out "
"Could you just stack the dishwasher for me "

Ect ect ect, he wasnt helping, nor doing ME a favour , he was just clearing up his own shit.I used to stand ironing for hours while he sat on his big fat arse.
Never again.

maltesers · 18/05/2010 11:02

So sorry to hear what a selfish , pathetic man you have around. Hs he not got 2 hands to make his own dam sandiwches ????? He is able to go to work but not make his own packed lunch ????????
You must not stand for this you must tell him in an assertive voice, " I am sorry, but please make your own packed lunch, I am exhaused and up half the night " If he huffs and puffs, then let him. Dont give in . Have you always done everything for him ?? He has to pull his wieght now you have kids. You are not his servant . You are his wife who he should love and care for.
I hope you manage to sort things out . xx

Species8472 · 18/05/2010 11:03

How strange. Is he some sort of moron? I mean, who is actually incapable of making their own sandwiches ffs??

Appparently my MIL used to make my FIL a full cooked breakfast each morning before he went out to work, and she had 4 kids to look after....I thought that was a generational thing.

PfftThePinkoLeftyDragon · 18/05/2010 11:06

Hang on

He woke you up to make his sandwiches

You got up and made them

You huffed

He threw the sandwishes in the bin.

WELL FUCK ME

theagedparent · 18/05/2010 11:09

What a horrible man! Does he always treat you like this?