to be annoyed at the smugness of people living on a shoetsring

[headlessandclueless]

i probably am.
mumsnet is full at the moment of people going on about how little money we have and how wonderful we are. or at least it seems that way to me.
what so superior about that? and even more so if you are a single parent? unless you are a widow, you made a choice to be a single parent, knowing full well that meant less money. yes, i know that in some cases of domestic violence, its not really a choice, but, it seems that in most cases i have seen on mn, its simply a case of, 'not being happy' with the partner.
whatever, if it makes you happier, fine, but stop harping on about how skint you might be, and how other people have too much money.

rant over.

gosh, i think you must be reading different threads to me , as I see no smugness

how sad you see smugness in the lone parent threads..saying they have made a choice - so suck it up basically...? for those who've escaped abuse and violence, I am sure that is a lovely attitude to have to face.

most cases I have seen on MN are not about not being happy... and even if it is..why should someone spend their whole life being miserable just to satisfy someone else's attitude?

are you having a really hard time yourself at the moment? you just come across as quite bitter and upset

'unless you are a widow, you made the choice to be a single parent'

and for good measure, off you fuck

Yes of course because it's always the womand choice, men never walk out on them.

What a nasty op

I think your definition of 'choice' is warped.

have never used this before but sums it up really .

Yes I think you are being unreasonable. I think your summary of why people are single is very simplistic, and I don't see much evidence of people on here going on about their incomes.

In any case, MN is not 'real life' is it? I expect quite a few people come on here to have a rant, get it out of their system so they are not moaning all the time to their friends and families. And why shouldn't they?

urgh

Ive not read any threads like that.

I did click on a thread for a house at 2.5 mill tho and a link from Riven who's poor son is saving up for a railcard to visit unis - his EMA hasnt been paid in ages and Riven isnt in a financial situation to be able to help-she isnt a single parent tho.

I dont think theres any 'smuggity' from any mumsnetters who manage on very little,but I have seen several instances of fellow mumsnetters clubbing in to help others in financial distress.

Perhaps my mumsnet is different to yours?

lol just noticed your name op - very suitable

i dont go on the lone parent threads, but have seen a superior attitude from lone parents on the other threads, if that makes sense.
i am not talking about domestic violence situations. unfortunately i know far more about that than a lot of people do.

sigh.

people who earn a lot of moeny, and i am not talking about merely 45K , but more too, also have problems, and may well be living on a shoestring. the amount of earnings does not and should not define a person, and should not mean that they arent allowed sympathy. that is what is getting to me. if you earn 45k, but spend 46k, not out of choice, but necessity, then you are in as much trouble as someone living on basic benefits. so why cant they also be entitle to some sympathy?

Actually, reading about how little others have to survive on reminds me of how lucky I am.

So, I don't see 'smugness'.

headlessandclueless.

you really are

Most of the single mums I know had very little choice in the matter.

Being jolly about how you are coping is called being positive.

there are occasionally comepetetive poverty threads. And those of us who are better off can be portrayed as vapid and mean.
But to be honest, given that I can afford holidays, schools, clothes etc I think it is a tad more becoming to allow others to dicuss the positive aspects of their situation rather than by being mean spirited and negative.

YABU and pretty spiteful

hardly smugness...just showing how it can be done, giving others hope and perhaps a few sensible ideas on how to cope.

what a miserable OP

flamed for not following the herd. isnt that a surprise.

sigh.
same old same old. 'i am a single parent and have no money, so i must be wonderful' i asked about why that attitude is so accepted, and i just get more of it chucked at me.

People living on benefits tend not to have any way to downgrade without either starving or being homeless, someone spending 46k while earning 45k has more options to downgrade.

The thread i saw the other day, which obviously you didn't made me lol someone on a decent wage tried to say sky was an essential. Oh and how terrible it was to live without 2 cars. Head in the clouds..

you are not being flamed for not following the herd. You are being flamed for being crass and actually fairly stupid

HTHs

lol no you're being flamed for being a twat.

I'm not a single parent either, so stick that in your happy pipe and smoke it.

I've never read anything here that came across that way to me. Yes, people talk about how tough it can be to cope, but not how 'wonderful' it is, or how they are. It's really, really, really bloody tough having no money for years on end, and so yes a little bit of pride in being able to cope is there. I think that's fair enough, actually.

Sigh. You are so going to get flamed for the utter bollocks about choosing to be a single parent. Nice to hear you're prepared to give some slight concessions to victims of domestic violence...>sarcasm emoticon

Well I'm living on a shoestring and would never write anything as stupid and mean as you OP, so maybe we are better people than you

lol@happy pipe

i have honestly never seen taht attitude and been on MN for a looooong time

seen a lot of threads about lone parents wondering how they wil biuy school shoes or pay for a school trip or buy nappies or how htey will tell their DCs that daddy is not coming ot see them again....

i have seen some inverse snobbery, where people are flamed for talking about wanting to spend a considerable amount of money on an item, when they can easily afford it.. i find that a bit grim

i don;t really see the attitude you are discussing

pag, as i said, i know i am probably bu. but i am really truly sick to death of it. money problems ar not the only issue in life. there are other, bigger problems in life. and surviving those can make you a better person, or not. why should people have to constantly apologise for being well off, high earning, when they might have a lot of other problems, ones that arent so easy to solve.