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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at the smugness of people living on a shoetsring

274 replies

headlessandclueless · 16/05/2010 15:25

i probably am.
mumsnet is full at the moment of people going on about how little money we have and how wonderful we are. or at least it seems that way to me.
what so superior about that? and even more so if you are a single parent? unless you are a widow, you made a choice to be a single parent, knowing full well that meant less money. yes, i know that in some cases of domestic violence, its not really a choice, but, it seems that in most cases i have seen on mn, its simply a case of, 'not being happy' with the partner.
whatever, if it makes you happier, fine, but stop harping on about how skint you might be, and how other people have too much money.

rant over.

OP posts:
mrsbean78 · 16/05/2010 17:01

Oh I'm with you there MDS.. I think it was inelegant and rude and I am particularly at the specific attack on Riven. I know sod all about the lone parent forum as am not one...

Shame as I think it is worth talking about what I heard described as 'competitive pooring' on another thread.

I don't feel 'poor', for the record - not in the slightest. I just really don't feel wealthy just because we can pay the bills and I can have the odd ready-cooked meal.
I live on the edge of an extremely wealthy area (was supposed to make my area up-and-coming as an investment but, well, that never materialised!) and there are people out there with homes worth millions and several gazillion Chelsea tractors in their drives who really are wealthy. I don't think there is a need to assume that any of those are on 45K.. even here, up North

cupcakesandbunting · 16/05/2010 17:04

"I do read threads where people with no money make out that it's fine to feed/clothe/house a family of 4 on 20K in the SE and of course all these people on 45K could too if they weren't so hell-bent on eating fancy pastries and wearing designer shoes and laughing in the face of the poor."

Erm, we have an annual income of 45K and I'm sat here in my last year's Primani shoes and George at Asda jumper and all of our fancy pastries come from Aldi or Asda. We are having a week in a caravan in Wales for our holiday and we have one second hand clapped-out Honda between us.

Yes, I just love laughing in the face of the poor, I do.

mrsbean78 · 16/05/2010 17:24

I think you misread me, cupcakes!
I was saying I felt that this assumption sometimes was sometimes made by those with incomes under 45K about people on the salary you describe. If you read my post you will see my salary is actually somewhat higher and yet I don't feel wealthy (and am certainly not wearing designer shoes or laughing in the face of the poor. I have been known to eat the odd fancy pastry though )

mippy · 16/05/2010 17:25

"people who earn a lot of moeny, and i am not talking about merely 45K"

HAHAHAHAHA. I wish I was on a 'mere' 45k.

mrsbean78 · 16/05/2010 17:35

Ping, mippy. There it is. Is it really necessary for people to always rise up in arms if someone mentions that they earn - shock, horror! - 45K. 45K is less than two graduate level teachers would earn working full time, it is hardly the key to an opulent lifestyle.

Perhaps we should have people from the developing world to say:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I wish I had 'running' water. or homeless people to say:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I wish I had a one room bedsit.

We are all using leisure time to chat online. Ergo, none of us is actually about to die from our poverty, let's face it.

I hate competitive pooring.

menopausemad · 16/05/2010 17:42

Income (dual) way bigger than £45K. Waiting for child benefit to come in to account for bread and milk this week. Seriously. Also trying to work out whether to sell house as market here has recovered a little and move into rented in order to have a little savings in case anything (more) goes wrong.

Worse than all that; no wine in the house for this evening!

No way anyone can income predict problems, even financial ones. On the other hand the worse medical problem facing us at the moment is braces for middle son (will cost £1200) and a madly hormone swinging, alcohol reducing, smoking cutting down me in the house!

Not all bad you see!

Riven I love your posts, not because they make me feel better about my hassles, but because your wry sense of humour and cutting wit cheers my day.

OP you are a fucking twat. Go away. Such generalizations are a sign of a very limited intellect.

cupcakesandbunting · 16/05/2010 17:43

Oops sorry Mrs Bean. I shouldn't really be posting with this dreadful hangover headache. I can't see straight.

LetThereBeRock · 16/05/2010 17:52

Thankyou Nelly.

maristella · 16/05/2010 17:57

OP you missed 'ignorant' and 'bitter' from your name. what a fucking knobber!
LEAVE US SINGLE PARENTS ALONE!!!!!!!
for the record we have a right to be happy, we have a right to be proud of our achievements, and NO we did not all choose to be single parents

xstitch · 16/05/2010 18:05

headlessandclueless I am so sorry that I was unable to stop my XH leaving me after em putting up with years of mental abuse in the name of 'doing the right thing'

I must also apologise on behalf of my former boss who laid me off a couple of weeks after my husband left me. I am sure she did it just to piss you off.

I don't remember ever accusing anyone of having too much money or claiming that them having a partner or more money meant that they had no problems. In fact I firmly believe I have always attempted to be sympathetic to others an really must apologise to anyone who has been offended by me seeking advice on subjects, it was as already mention not my intention.

Nor do I believe that I have been smug but again will apologise if anyone has been offended.

Finally in defence of other MNeters, I have witnessed many of them being incredibly supportive to people posting with their problems. If you have a peoblem with a comment made by an individual mneter please adddress it at the time and FFS stop making sweeping generalisations about single mums. If you have a problem that I am in a position to provide advice for I would be glad to help but whatever it is I doubt it is the fault of single mothers.

cupcakesandbunting · 16/05/2010 18:07

The only person that should be self-flagellating is the OP for being such a tiresome cunt.

If this was school, I'd be standing behind Riven, telling Riven to "get her"

LadyBiscuit · 16/05/2010 18:08

I hate it when I post after a psycho post that I didn't see. Makes me look like a right cow

I'm more disappointed that I missed it. If anyone can take a troll like water off a duck's back, it's expat. I still haven't had a post deleted despite my best efforts

LadyBiscuit · 16/05/2010 18:19

I hate it even more when I post on the wrong thread

cupcakesandbunting · 16/05/2010 18:23

I was wondering WTF you were jabbering on about, Ladybiscuit

saultanpepper · 16/05/2010 18:25

OP

Ever wonder why, at parties, you're normally the one left on their own nursing a glass of warm white wine all evening and no-one speaks to you?

Stop wondering. You're an idiot. Now be a dear and fuck off, would you?

Now - can someone pass me some baklava please? I'd get it myself but I put my back out this morning and it hurts when I move

sarah293 · 16/05/2010 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmRenewed · 16/05/2010 18:32

Yeah you are quite right OP. What total bastards! They should just get one with it and get into debt and be fucking miserable.

Grow up! And be grateful you don't have to go there.

cupcakesandbunting · 16/05/2010 18:32

Fair enough. I'd pull her pigtails instead.

RobynLou · 16/05/2010 18:33

I do think it's ridiculous the way 45k is bandied about on here as though any household with 45k coming in is rich.
There is a HUGE difference between a couple where one earns 45k, the other cares for the kids, and a couple who both work full time and between them bring in 45k but who have to pay for full time childcare from that.

we don't have anywhere near 45k coming in btw

saultanpepper · 16/05/2010 18:33

Hmph! Got any baked cheesecake? There's many a medical study that says that's a bad back cure as well...

pickledmonkey · 16/05/2010 18:35

another aibu that has resulted in lots of abuse to the op, as usual

OrmRenewed · 16/05/2010 18:36

And let's be 100% clear. Being skint isn't all love in a cottage. Being broke can be very stressful. Trying to cope with the normal problems of life when you can't even guarantee to pay the rent/mortgage or feed your kids properly makes everything worse. It's a grind and it grinds you down. Losing a job and being poor again is one of my biggest nightmares, I'm not ashamed to admit it. If you've not been there you won't understand.

sarah293 · 16/05/2010 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cupcakesandbunting · 16/05/2010 18:38

What's your point, pickledmonkey? OP is a twat and she deserves it.

I've been on lots of other threads today that have been very supportive of various OPs. This OP can't post a very inflammatory OP then whine when people get riled by it.

Morloth · 16/05/2010 18:41

I made pecan pie because I didn't want to pay 6.95 for it at lunch. I am all about the sacrifices today...