to be annoyed at the smugness of people living on a shoetsring

[headlessandclueless]

i probably am.
mumsnet is full at the moment of people going on about how little money we have and how wonderful we are. or at least it seems that way to me.
what so superior about that? and even more so if you are a single parent? unless you are a widow, you made a choice to be a single parent, knowing full well that meant less money. yes, i know that in some cases of domestic violence, its not really a choice, but, it seems that in most cases i have seen on mn, its simply a case of, 'not being happy' with the partner.
whatever, if it makes you happier, fine, but stop harping on about how skint you might be, and how other people have too much money.

rant over.

riven, i have the greatest respect for you, coping with the problems you have, but, is that all that defines you? because it seems to me, that in every single thread you participate in, you manage to bring that issue to the forefront.
being skint does not make you a better person. neithe does having a child with special needs. dealing with it well does make you a better person, but, do you seriously need to harp on and on and on about it? because for those of us lesser mortals, being told to constantly suck itup, oour problems arent proper problems, because we have ebough elctricity and food, and healthy children, is extremely damaging.

rant over. feel free to continue your playground bullying antics all of you.

I smell a rat. You've been really flippant about it just being a forum, but now you're saying that reading other people's opinions are 'extremely damaging'.

I call troll. A nasty one, trying to wind up Riven.

Headless- from what I have seen in life, having money problems does not make you immune from the other problems in life. The same people who struggle financially may also have severely disabled children or suffer from ill health or have suffered bereavement or have escaped from abusive spouses. Statistically, it is probably more likely that people who are dealing with other adversities are also dealing with money problems: it is harder to make pots of money if you suffer from chronic ill health or have to spend all day and night looking after a severely disabled child.

Dear God.. I think Riven has every right to "harp on and on" Funnily enough things like that are quite a major part of someone's life!!

No one is saying that your problems are less, should all people who have problems shut up just so you can enjoy feeling like you have it bad? Don't know about you, but I quite like knowing that in a lot of ways my life is good, despite the shite. And rather than having, what appears to be, a bizarre jealousy of people having a genuinely bad time

I must have missed the memo that said that one isn't allowed to mention one's child with special needs.

Oh do fuck off - you really are clueless.

Yes, Having a SN child defines me. It consumes you because it is part of everything you do and everything you are.

If you really have the time to post such drivel then you obviously dont have that much to worry about!

She wont win, Rivens made of stern stuff and she ate a ton of baklava last week - shes ready for battle!!

Headless

I know better than many that money does not mean happiness and that lack of money is notthe worst thing in life.

But your OP pre-supposes that people living on small incomes only have money to worry about - which is bollocks.

Many lone parents have other issues to deal with. something like 90% of fathers walk out when a child is disgnosed with a life long illness or disbility for example.

To be in difficult circumstances and feel sorry for your self is understandable.
To be aware of what you lack, proud of how you cope and even envious of how those who are 'better off' have troubles which seem to you to be non-problems, is only human.

Of course it is frustrating when the problems of those with better than average incomes are dismissed.

But would you rather be comfortably off with DP or on your own, poor and possibly a bit chippy.

Can you not see that it is much more becoming, much more gracious to understand that frustration and difficulty will make people prickly.

You need to count your blessing ( at the risk of being a bit Oprah)

why start a thread in AIBU if you don't want to hear if you are being unreasonable?

agree there is some inverse snobbery

but i don't see the smugness

you just want to fight

yes, riven has a child with brain damage, who needs 24 hour a day care..so it would be a pretty defining thing to deal with

how does that effect you in your life in anyway at all?

I haven't seen these posts you refer too. I HAVE seen posts where an OP has complained about something to do with money and it would appear comparatively that that problem isn't so great in the scheme of things, and people with less money can see it more clearly and point it out to be helpful.

I don't see smugness though. I am not smug that we don't have sky or mobile phones, or a car younger than 15 years, but I will point out to someone who is struggling that they could thing about cancelling their subscriptions to a few things and sell their car, knowing full well that it isn't the end of the world if they do.

its baklava withdrawal .

Oh wtf? Telling Riven she's "harping on and on and on" about her situation?

Piss off H&C - and I don't usually say things like that. Away with your "damaged" self because your problems are not being taken seriously.

There are people on here making/consuming baklava and not offering me any? This is not acceptable.

mmmn baklava...

Riven
could you stop harping on about that bloody child of yours and start fretting about uni fees like the rest of us.

Bloody conversations monopoliser.

I always harp on about my shoes.
I am fucking dull but I do it with style.

Can I just interrupt this incredibly stupid thread to say that 'FuckingNinkyNonk' is the best name I've ever read?

I can think of very few reasons why someone has to spend £46k out of necessity. What is necessary really IS subjective, and I say that as someone who to many would appear to be 'chosing' to spend more than our annual income for something that I 'feel' is necessary.

Sorry, I meant OP, not thread. The thread telling the OP she's a dick is just fine by me.

Where you say money problems are not the only issue in life. Bizaare, and can only be stated by someone who has never had any TRUE money problems.

I have often read Riven's post with great interest - she writes well and is a rather inspiring woman. How bloody dare you insinuate she makes herself a better person by discussing her life? She has given me a valuable insight into what caring for a child with serious health issues is like, and I have never ever seen anything by her that shows self pity.
You, headless one, on the other hand STINK of self pity with your constant "sighs" and your lamenting about people flaming you. Well ofcourse they will! You are naive and insulting, and bloody spoiled too. Now off you go pamper your little self...

So what is making you so unhappy then op? Tell us why your life is actually so much harder than everyone elses.