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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my new boyfriend says he is going to vote BNP

459 replies

susia · 02/05/2010 20:51

that's it really, I was really shocked and went into a bit of a rant. I can't believe someone I've been intimate with and been close to would vote bnp.

OP posts:
Janos · 02/05/2010 21:59

What lulu said.

Why oh why do (some) women feel the need to save men from themselves in this fashion?

smallorange · 02/05/2010 22:00

Susia - I'm sorry but why are you seeing this guy?

Tryharder - don't tell people to calm down. It's patronising.

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 22:00

and I'm not a flaky liberal either. I vote liberal mainly because of their views on education but not hugely liberal fan - could be labour.

I meant I have liberal views on things like sex whereas he is quite rigid.

OP posts:
Chandra · 02/05/2010 22:01

Scottishmummy, I think that's unfair!

To be honest, I know a few jewish people and I had know them for years, or live with them for months, before I realised they were jewish. It is not that it comes in the conversation that often.

Most guys don't talk politics in dates, honest.

LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 22:02

Yeah but Chandra, we still don't know what "goodness" he has, all we're hearing is bad stuff which is getting worse, so it's hard to be objective.

Was the prisoner non-white, sasia?

I am genuinely a bit worried about you (not meaning to be patronising) and agree with KillerCleavage, or give us some reasons to be a bit more positive about the situation.

tethersend · 02/05/2010 22:02

Is Max Mosley somehow involved?

tethersend · 02/05/2010 22:02

snort at 'rigid'

dittany · 02/05/2010 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 02/05/2010 22:03

you are determined to play this thread. setting you and he up with diametrically opposed views to provoke a response

dont beleive you

way too clichéd

LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 22:04

Rigid in what way?
pmsl at tethersend

rasputin · 02/05/2010 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lowrib · 02/05/2010 22:04

" The reason I am still with him is that I am not easy either! I think he is misinformed and it is easy to be judgmental with the hindsight of education (which I have had). Some people form judgments without fully knowing the full story and I think he is well meaning but totally misinformed."

I'm afraid you are being terribly naive, and really not taking good care of yourself. You are being too nice. This guy has bastard written all over him. Be thankful he's showing you his true colours so early on! You really do need to ditch the fucker.

I have forgiven some exes for really glaringly obvious signs of total bastardness, ignoring other people who were kind enough to try to point out the obvious to me. I wasted years. Please don't do it to yourself.

He's either racist or stupid. You can't change him, this is the man he is. Please get out now while he hasn't taken up too much of your time and energy.

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 22:05

I don't know the race of the prisoner.

The goodness he has, despite being as I said a very rigid person, is that he seems to be kind, honest and is good with kids. He seemed to me to have lost his job unfairly but obviously I don't know.

(As to discussing my Jewish heritage, I have tried to explain this - it isn't something that is a big part of my life and don't feel the need to bring it up often).

OP posts:
Eurostar · 02/05/2010 22:07

Fascinated as to what makes you want to be with this man other than some wish to educate him and turn him into the type of man you're actually looking for (which ain't going to happen), by your early forties surely you know that you can't change you partner into something you want them to be?

scottishmummy · 02/05/2010 22:07

dating bnp holocaust denier,and not sure when to mention you're jewish

come off it

rasputin · 02/05/2010 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 22:09

I don't understand how the way he lost his job can be blamed on immigration. If he did or did not bully a prisoner it has nothing to do with immigration. The only thing I can see is that the prisoner wasn't white British so he now has a grudge... This isn't being misinformed. This is just being a bit racist.
Maybe this isn't the case, but as you earlier alluded to him losing his job as a reason for voting BNP, I can't see what else it could be.
Good with kids as long as they're white, I assume?

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 22:10

scottishmummy I actually find your tone quite offensive. It is entirely my prerogative to mention (or not) my heritage - being half jewish (and half english) and I will not keep repeating myself about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 22:12

lordvolauvent - no I mean - I didn't make it clear that he is finding it hard to get another job and that is what he blames partly on immigration.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 02/05/2010 22:12

will you spend all your relationship excusing his odious views.like you are trying to here

lost job for violent conduct. that takes some going it really does

is he good with Jewish kids, black kids or just white kids

sparkle12mar08 · 02/05/2010 22:14

But you're not half Jewish are you? You're fully Jewish - your mother was Jewish. If you know anything, anything at all about 'your' heritage, you'd know that. How can your skin not crawl knowing that your boyfriend supports a party that would have escorted your grandparents to the gas chambers and slammed the door?

I'm with scottishmummy, either this is a very sick wind up, or you have very, very serious issues of your own to be with this man.

SugarMousePink · 02/05/2010 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 22:15

scottishmummy - could I ask that you stop posting on this thread please. I find your manner unhelpful. I was posting here to ask advice not to get into a row.

OP posts:
sparkle12mar08 · 02/05/2010 22:16

So you'd happily marry a man who'd send your children to the chambers too?

scottishmummy · 02/05/2010 22:17

you take biscuit susia.im offensive bnp fella sacked for violent conduct you shag isnt?

you keep telling yourself that every time you get your kit off for him

or take the ire i provoke in you and turn it on your bnp boyfriend

confused im offensive
bnp lover isnt

and i specifically chose to discuss this aspect as it is pertinent as bnp are holocaust deniers

take that offence i provoke in you, turn it on him