Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my new boyfriend says he is going to vote BNP

459 replies

susia · 02/05/2010 20:51

that's it really, I was really shocked and went into a bit of a rant. I can't believe someone I've been intimate with and been close to would vote bnp.

OP posts:
LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 21:17

Yes, sorry susia, was typing as you posted that. What do you think he'll say?
I get your point about a lack of education and good luck to you about re-educating, but seriously, no-one should stand by and let anyone vote BNP out of middle-class guilt. There are a lot of situations where people have stood by and let things happen - sometimes doing nothing is just as bad (I am not comparing your bf to Hitler or someone, of course, but taking a stand has to start somewhere and I would expect anyone to do the same).

dittany · 02/05/2010 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 21:20

When you say he won't touch you during you period, do you mean just sex, or he won't touch you at all.
You're lucky in this respect though, I get pestered for blow jobs when I've got mine! Sorry to lower the tone!

EricNorthmansmistress · 02/05/2010 21:20

susia just don't go there. Why would you want to educate someone out of being racist, and reveal that you are part Jewish to see what he will say? Why would you put yourself through that? Education or lack of is no excuse for being a dumb racist. My DH doesn't have much education but he's a decent person and therefore not racist....

He doesn't like having sex when I'm on my period though - doesn't actually bother me, lots of men find it icky. their prerogative IMO. But if he's disrespectful and unkind about it then that's even more reason to be rid.

You can do a million times better than him, you don't need to settle for a charmless, ignorant racist!

LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 21:20

Sorry, at all ?

DuelingFanjo · 02/05/2010 21:21

obviously you are going to dump him.

MrsCrafty · 02/05/2010 21:24

I think this might be just one of those...........times when I should walk off whistling the tune to Goodnight Sweetheart.....

smallorange · 02/05/2010 21:24

You have every right to judge. Plenty of people are working class, uneducated, misinformed but do they vote BNP? No they don't bcause they are not racist bigots.

You must be savvy enough to know this, deep down.

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 21:25

well he won't touch me down there - sure he'd be happy with a blow job!

Know they are two totally separate issues but just had a disastrous evening with him and now he isn't answering my calls

OP posts:
KillerCleavage · 02/05/2010 21:25

I don't get why you would want to stay with a bloke who you say is controlling, regardless of his political understanding - or lack of it.

BrandyAlexander · 02/05/2010 21:25

If you feel you need to change someone then they are not the person for you, its such a red flag. You are half jewish, which will no doubt make you "jewish" in the eyes of the BNP. There are no half measures.

Are you that desperate to be in any relationship and do you think so little of yourself, your family and your heritage that you are still considering being in a relationship with this person?

tethersend · 02/05/2010 21:27

So, he hates the 'Reds' then?

Sorry.

BarackObama · 02/05/2010 21:28

You've still not made it clear why you are with him?

tethersend · 02/05/2010 21:28
mumeeee · 02/05/2010 21:30

I would make him you ex.|Even my 18 year old who is not sure who to vote for, says she definatly won't vote for BNP. She has only recently been findingout about the different parties

JustAnotherManicMummy · 02/05/2010 21:31

He sounds lovely. Does he have a brother?

scottishmummy · 02/05/2010 21:31

you sound completely flaky.Jewish shagging bnp follower?

what next will you reveal you are from black,immigrant heritage

ditzy liberal gets in on with bnp man.are you playing some daft head fuck to get attention.poor widdle rich girl trying to be annoying

BertieBotts · 02/05/2010 21:31

Be thankful that he has revealed his true colours so early! My XP was a complete charmer, it was only when I'd been living with him a few months that he started coming out with racist jokes, sexist comments, etc I put it down to him trying to be "one of the lads" for a bit but after a while it just completely repulsed me and every time he made one of these comments I just wanted to tell him to shut up!

We split up and that was one of many many reasons. Looking back it was all related/symptomatic of the kind of person he was. Had no respect for anyone.

LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 21:33

Why are you trying to call him? He should be trying to call you to apologise for his hopefully momentary madness brought on by some sort of brain heamorrhage or something... Step away from the phone.

What are his good points?

PfftTheMagicDragon · 02/05/2010 21:34

I would be thinking "is this worth my time?"

Are you just dating for fun, or are you looking for someone to spend your life with? If the former, then maybe you have a spare year to spend on a nobber.

scottishmummy · 02/05/2010 21:36

run it past me how you forgot to tell him you're Jewish

JustAnotherManicMummy · 02/05/2010 21:37

lol LordVolAuVent are you new?

Chandra · 02/05/2010 21:40

Get out of that... and soon.

And to think I became disenchanted with a man because he voted for the conservative party. Having said that he had some BNP oriented ideas, he said "my friends will like you, they don't find a problem as long as you are working"

So, I thought... I think I already don't like your friends and will hate to be immersed in such world. My world would have been an absolute torture for him too... it is full of highly skilled immigrants who would look down on him either for his views or for not being educated enough... so I let him go.

I don't think he was a bad person just hugely misinformed. But I didn't feel he was worth the effort/heartache to "repair" him. There was no way we could fit in each other's worlds.

LordVolAuVent · 02/05/2010 21:40

Another thing, my ex best friend married a racist, sexist homophobe and as a result has lost most of her friends. We are quite a mulitcultural bunch and his opinions, validated and endorsed by her due to the marriage, are not ones we are willing to tolerate. Besides which, he doesn't like us much! Their DS would not be allowed to go out with most of our DCs according to him, due to their "foreign-ness". So this makes it difficult for her to be friends with us, even if we were willing to tolerate it. He is also controlling so it suits him that she has no friends left.

I would suspect (and hope) that if you carried on into a "serious" relationship with your bf that you may lose some friends, as you can see by the tone of the thread, most people are not so forgiving as you.

Original poster
susia · 02/05/2010 21:42

I didn't forgot to tell him that I am Jewish. It's that I am half Jewish (as in my mother is Jewish), and consider myself to be totally English because I have (as has my mother) always lived in England. So I don't feel it is a necessary thing to bring up with people - it is like claiming some heritage that isn't really mine.

The only reason I thought of mentioning it is when he mentioned the BNP. I should have done but didn't at the time, but I will do.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread